# Where to go to meet women? **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [July 8, 2006, 12:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479 "2006-07-08T00:56:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![catlord17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@catlord17](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/catlord17)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/21 "2006-07-10T20:32:15Z")
> [@ilsa](#): > > Only if she isn’t offended, and she seems to be interested in you as well. lol But hey Catlord, some women like perverts. 🙂 I was kidding, of course. Staring at a woman you’ve never met 80% of the time without getting a similar level of interest would just be downright freaky. And if you were getting a similar level of interest, I’d say the time to act is now. Stop staring and start talking. Peripheral vision is a wonderful thing. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 1:16am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/22 "2006-07-11T01:16:16Z")
> [@ilsa](#): > > I always found this particular approach from a guy to be kind of creepy, and a big turn-off myself. It never worked on me. Occasionally glancing, like the first guy you mentioned, was always more alluring. well that was a nice way to say it,lol. if a guy looks at my crotch…i mean EVER… i have to wonder if he’s lookin for balls, hahahahahahaha. what the hell are you going to see thru my pants??? if a guy takes part in something only women do, im tempted to place him in the gay box. next is the perv box. after that, id think he was looking for a girlfriend,lol. ---
**Author:** ![catlord17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@catlord17](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/catlord17)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 4:52am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/23 "2006-07-11T04:52:59Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > well that was a nice way to say it,lol. > if a guy looks at my crotch…i mean EVER… i have to wonder if he’s lookin for balls, hahahahahahaha. what the hell are you going to see thru my pants??? > if a guy takes part in something only women do, im tempted to place him in the gay box. next is the perv box. after that, id think he was looking for a girlfriend,lol. Ever? Even when you’re naked, huh? I don’t know about you, but us guys, we tend to be visual, and we like looking at naked women. 😛 I don’t see why a guy would be looking at your crotch otherwise, though. ---
**Author:** ![Rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@Rob](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Rob)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 1:50pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/24 "2006-07-11T13:50:58Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > well that was a nice way to say it,lol. > if a guy looks at my crotch…i mean EVER… i have to wonder if he’s lookin for balls, hahahahahahaha. what the hell are you going to see thru my pants??? > if a guy takes part in something only women do, im tempted to place him in the gay box. next is the perv box. after that, id think he was looking for a girlfriend,lol. Like yoga classes? lol. Some people think thats only for women. Its a great physical stretch and workout and a plus is you can find alot of hot women there. By the way, whats the deal with looking at a womans crotch? I noticed that if a woman finds a guy attractive enough, then what he is doing isn’t rejected. ---
**Author:** ![Rbt](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/rbt/32/2066_2.png) [@Rbt](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Rbt)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 4:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/25 "2006-07-11T16:06:04Z")
> [@catlord17](#): > > I don’t see why a guy would be looking at your crotch otherwise, though. Checking for braids, cornrows, etc. of course… 😮 ---
**Author:** ![Scottie2Hottie](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/scottie2hottie/32/628_2.png) [@Scottie2Hottie](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Scottie2Hottie)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 4:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/26 "2006-07-11T16:30:28Z")
> [@tacitus](#): > > Women appear to be uncomfortable with the hard hungry stare… This works both ways. I’ve been on the receiving end. I used to wear an extremely sexual, yet troublesome (i.e., male aggression), mix that elicited this kind of response from this one girl every time. First she would go into a very prolonged DIHL, then come out of her stupor and just stare at me like she was gonna eat me alive.😮 I mean she would stare at me hard for a loooonnnnnnnngggggggg time. Freaked me out every time…thought she was a psycho or something. Happened all the time, as we were both regulars at this place. > [@tacitus](#): > > one bud of mine, a master at getting laid, would never stare at women or look at them too hard, it was part of his technique… and it worked.. his eyes might lightly pass over her at most, but he would look slightly past them while watching with his peripheral vision.. The passing glance works very well. As I survey my surroundings, if I notice IOIs or catch a look out of my peripheral vision, then I will meet her gaze and (if interested) while holding EC (never look away first!) give her the “I’m interested, but not impressed” smile. Once she breaks EC I wait for the follow up glance (observing her body language), then hold EC again w/ a somewhat warmer version of the above expression. After she breaks EC, it’s back to what I was doing and that’s all she gets unless there are IOIs. I tend to observe potential targets peripherally as they interact w/ ppl to get a feel for their personality, as this will dictate my actions from there. I typically don’t initiate EC simply because I find that my efforts are usually better spent on those who have shown an IOI merely by checking me out. I also think that it communicates the wrong thing if you sit there and attempt to make EC w/ every chick in the place…it smacks of desperation and/or a great need for approval from women. It does not DHV. I hate AWs, so she’s gonna hafta make an effort before she gets much, if any, attention from me…at least initially. If she attempts “remote contact”, then I will likely respond appropriately. For good or bad, I tend to size women up very quickly. All that being said, I will admit that occassionally I am caught off guard by a real stunner.lol I _am_ only human, after all. The statement in quotes above comes from something a friend once said while watching Dr. No on TV. There was a scene where Bond makes EC w/ a woman and flashes this very distinct expression, whereupon my friend gets all flustered. She starts talking a mile a miniute about how hot/mysterious it was and she came up w/ the line “interested, but not impressed”. I just sat there w/ this grin/smirk and she says, "That’s it! Right there! Oh my God!"lol It’s if to say, “yeah, you’re hot but what else ya got”? It communicates that you’re confident, worldly wise and that attention from attractive women is nothing new; you’re not impressed simply because she’s beautiful or because such a woman is actually _interested_ in you. That is, you don’t respond to her gaze by looking around w/ that “who? me?” look of amazement. lol > [@tacitus](#): > > A second bud of mine, a sadly frustrated guy, would always stare hard and aggressively, like romantic, right ? First drill deep into their eyes and then straight at their crotch… bad technique… women just blanched and fled from this approach… Yikes!😮 ---
**Author:** ![tacitus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@tacitus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tacitus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 5:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/27 "2006-07-11T17:15:38Z")
The use of the eyeballs is an art form in itself When we started on-camera classes, the major #1 “tell” of a professional versus a seasoned professional versus a major star versus a rank amateur was the **expressiveness of the eyes**. You can’t get this from a static shot into a mirror because you are staring straight back at yourself. We’d work for month and months trying to get the most rudimentry eye work down to a reflex, and it sure isn’t as easy as you might think. A lucky few just have it naturally and the rest of us have to work hard. I think the **two most important things you can have going for you are voice quality and eye expressiveness.** Once you have these pieces in place, a good sense of personal style, something that is unique, congruent, and unmistakably you (often a more relaxed, gounded, not overstyled look works 1000% better than a an OTT metrosexual waxed arms and chest hungry for attention presentation… but it has to be distinct) … **and learn to be very still, don’t waste energy with a lot of excess motion** and shifting from foot to foot or twiddling things, nothing is more distracting than random twiddling, and it screams… **TWIT** … and for God’s sake, **get rid of the chewing gum** , like permanently, or any other orallly obsessive activity, like gnawing on candies or sucking mints or pulling on your lower lip… all that stuff communicates “regresses to the oral state of infantile development, didn’t have adequate nipple as a baby and will forever be compensating by seeking surrogate mother figures” … just don’t… ---
**Author:** ![PHERSURF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@PHERSURF](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PHERSURF)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 5:29pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/28 "2006-07-11T17:29:45Z")
Voice tonality is extremely important! Thanks for bringing it up, tacitus. There was a recent study that indicated that voice tone was more important than looks in the number of sex partners both sexes have in their lives. ---
**Author:** ![PHERSURF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@PHERSURF](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PHERSURF)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 4:56pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/29 "2006-07-12T16:56:22Z")
Here’s a little more on eye contact. There are only 2 reasons humans (actually, all primates) make strong eye contact. 1. Because they are going to fight 2. Because they are going to mate Here’s a few scenarios to illustrate, 2 men are walking down the street minding their own business and they bump into each other. They turn ot look at each other and instantly one breaks eye conatact. They continue on their way. The man that breaks eye contact first is the beta male of the group. Now let’s say that they don’t break eye contact. Every guy here knows what’s going to happen! If neither breaks eye contact, there’s going to be some conflict. Here you have 2 males . Beta and alpha behaviors are not static. The beta in the first scenario may be an alpha with another man in another scenario. In the second scenario both of these guys would become beta’s if confronted with Chuck Norris! Let’s look at male/female scenarios. A man and a woman look at each other and smile, the man breaks eye contact first. She will instantly disqualify him due to his lower status than her. She breaks eye contact first. Usually she will look down and smile, then glance back up. Bingo! This signals that’s she’s OK with him approaching. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 11:24pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/30 "2006-07-12T23:24:56Z")
> [@Rob](#): > > Like yoga classes? lol. Some people think thats only for women. Its a great physical stretch and workout and a plus is you can find alot of hot women there. By the way, whats the deal with looking at a womans crotch? I noticed that if a woman finds a guy attractive enough, then what he is doing isn’t rejected. first of all, i never said if ROB does yoga, he’s gay LOL 😛 if johnny freakin depp looked loveingly into my crotch, id run like hell…after i got his autograph . theres no way that is sexy to a woman, i dont care who says they get turned on when a guy is talkin to your fly,lol. ---
**Author:** ![skan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@skan](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skan)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2007, 12:09am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/31 "2007-01-19T00:09:51Z")
Meeting girls (or guys) at Bookstores, The mall, Libraries, the bus… could be difficult because at big Cities people think "What does he want?, Maybe he want’s money or he can be dangerous or something like that. The only places where I use to meet new people are pubs, places where you are forced to meet people because of your job or studies, and through other friends, though sometimes there are not available girls. ---
**Author:** ![AKmedic](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/akmedic/32/1487_2.png) [@AKmedic](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/AKmedic)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2007, 3:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/32 "2007-01-19T03:03:31Z")
> [@tacitus](#): > > Women appear to be uncomfortable with the hard hungry stare… A second bud of mine, a sadly frustrated guy, would always stare hard and aggressively, like romantic, right ? First drill deep into their eyes and then straight at their crotch… bad technique… women just blanched and fled from this approach… Staring at a woman’s crotch? _Classy_. \ Seriously, I’m amazed the dude is still walking around with his gonads intact after pulling some lame stunt like that, because…YUCK. That’s predatory and just plain disgusting. “Let me totally objectify you and stare at the only part of you in which I’m interested…your vagina”. Dude should get a blow-up doll if that’s all he cares about. > [@International\_Playboy](#): > > You’re not kidding. When I was taking Karate, there was a woman from work in the class whom I was highly interested in. There was a blackbelt from another style who had joined up after moving to town who would throw punches at my face to show off while I was trying to talk to the woman. What a jerk, and she had a look on her face when he’d do that, that gave me the impression that she felt the same about him. I trained at a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu academy for a while because my boyfriend at the time was into jiu-jitsu and jeet kun do. Like all the other women who trained there, I was attached and had no interest in finding another boyfriend. I had a really great experience there except for one creepy guy who asked me to spar with him and … well, I dont’ want to talk about it specifically, so I’ll just say that he was VERY INAPPROPRIATE. I was really upset afterwards, and one of the teachers there asked me what was wrong (the teacher was a semi-professional cage fighter and his day job was a prison guard. 😮 When he found out what that guy had done to me in his academy… well, let’s just say that Mr. Creepy Jerk never, ever showed up to that academy again. It is _not okay_ to treat women with disrespect. I don’t know about the other ladies, but after hearing some of this discussion I’ll sign up to take a women-only yoga class. The last thing I want is some guy staring at me in a lecherous fashion when I’m in vulnerable positions and trying to let go of tension. There’s already pervy yoga instructors like Rodney Yee out there who prey on students. No thanks. ---
**Author:** ![lancepstriker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lancepstriker](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/lancepstriker)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2007, 7:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/33 "2007-01-19T07:56:26Z")
Wow it’s hard to know where to begin with so many different subtopics. > [@tacitus](#): > > When we started on-camera classes, the major #1 “tell” of a professional versus a seasoned professional versus a major star versus a rank amateur was the **expressiveness of the eyes** …and for God’s sake, **get rid of the chewing gum** , like permanently, or any other orallly obsessive activity, like gnawing on candies or sucking mints or pulling on your lower lip… all that stuff communicates “regresses to the oral state of infantile development, didn’t have adequate nipple as a baby and will forever be compensating by seeking surrogate mother figures” … just don’t… I can imagine the difficulty of teaching so many these different techniques and new ideas to transform into daily exercises and habits. I have worked hard for the past four or five years trying to transform myself into someone that is more socially acceptable while still holding onto what is essentially me. To be honest, for the longest time, I was a shy, awkward and annoying person.It was due to a list of several different habits and characteristics that needed to be kicked. The shyness and awkwardness was due in majorly to my over exposure to women as a child. I lived with my mother, sister, aunt, female cousin, grandmother, and great-grandmother. My father didn’t have much influence on my life when I was younger. So when it became the time that I started showing interest in girls, I had the perfect gentleman figure down pat. But I had never been taught how to flirt, hint around, or use body language period. I struggled for the longest time, until I actually had a female friend sit me down and program my mind so to say hehe. > [@tacitus](#): > > Women appear to be uncomfortable with the hard hungry stare… one bud of mine, a master at getting laid, would never stare at women or look at them too hard, it was part of his technique… and it worked.. his eyes might lightly pass over her at most, but he would look slightly past them while watching with his peripheral vision.. Odd you mention that, I have a friend who is exactly the same way. From looking at him, you wouldn’t think he’d be as popular as he is. I mean he isn’t a horrible looking guy, just average. This man though, has been with more women, than everyone on this forum can count with all hands and toes. And I mean bombshells. Whenever I speak to any of these girls, I always get the same response 90% of the time. “It’s his eyes.” He has a way of looking at women which I still haven’t seemed to master. i have no problem with eye contact and body language nowadays, but he can have a woman in his arms walking out the door, simply with a glance and a smile. It baffles me even to this day how he hasn’t caught something hehe, but that’s for another topic lol. > [@tacitus](#): > > the real deal is that women need to know what they’re dealing with… staring deeply into her eyes without content to back it up can be a little strange… I’m so glad you mentioned this, because I would have completely forgotten it. I have a horrible memory. I have another friend who fits this description exactly. He starts off great with perfect eye contact. He gets the girl interested so she walks over and starts chatting with him. Then from there, it starts to go down hill. His words don’t make it out of his mouth right to begin with. And the ones that do come out are all messed up. He likes to think of himself as the romantic, but he never seems to be able to back that romantic idea up. He just doesn’t have the gumption to loosen up and actually focus on her. He tries to find something to distract him and leave her for later. I like to think of myself as a very romantic person, and a very easy to talk to person. I only have one problem and that is starting the convo or getting something along those lines engaged. Once someone starts talking and shows interest, I’m game. Most times I speak more than the average woman does. This however is something that I am trying to improve on. Oh yeah and I guess to the original topic, I can’t really recommend places for pheromones that I have used because I haven’t ordered yet. But I would recommend to meet women, going to any social gatherings that you are able to. Also, what others have mentioned, libraries, bookshops, or anywhere that you are interested. As Ilsa mentioned, it is best to find a place that you are interested in, that way you already have your foot that much farther in the door. If you are a poetry writing, romance novel reading, artist who knows nothing about sports, then why would you try to go to a sports convention to meet chicks? Oh and that last bit is me all day except for the romance novels…I lean towards books that have a good lesson to be learned through an awesome story line. Anyways, you understand what I’m saying. To each person, comes their own preference to meeting people. It all depends on interests you have, and where you are comfortable. Don’t put yourself in awkward situations or places where you don’t feel comfortable, especially if you are just starting to get into meeting women. Make sure you are in a position where you feel confident about yourself and your surrounding. I think that about ends it for my yapper in this little corner of the forum. -Robert a.k.a. Lance ---
**Author:** ![PheroB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PheroB](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PheroB)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2007, 9:02am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/34 "2007-01-19T09:02:07Z")
PHERSURF : - DON"T BREAK EYE CONTACT FIRST! The woman must break eye contact first, then glance back at you. TACITUS : - Two most important things you can have going for you are voice quality/tonality and eye expressiveness - And learn to be very still, don’t waste energy with a lot of excess motion and shifting from foot to foot or twiddling things Very good suggestions… Anything can be added? Posture etc..? PheroB ---
**Author:** ![toilofday](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/toilofday/32/371_2.png) [@toilofday](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/toilofday)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2007, 9:09am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/35 "2007-01-19T09:09:55Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > try a forum! 😮 or, > [meetup.com](http://meetup.com) pick a subject…any subject…i love it there. I took your advice and signed up for [meetup.com](http://meetup.com) My town is so lame there isn’t a gathering of people within 25 miles (most places are over 30) LOL…I can’t wait to move to Indy! I like to do my testing in clothing stores. Then you can always ask a passing female her opinion 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![skan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@skan](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skan)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2007, 11:10am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/36 "2007-01-19T11:10:14Z")
But some women may feel assailed/overwhelmed if you stare at them and don’t break eye contact. ---
**Author:** ![Rbt](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/rbt/32/2066_2.png) [@Rbt](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Rbt)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2007, 6:19am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/37 "2007-01-21T06:19:38Z")
> [@skan](#): > > But some women may feel assailed/overwhelmed if you stare at them and don’t break eye contact. But are they women/men you would want to deal with? It’s part of the “filtering” process. Like going to a place where you share interests (bookstores, etc), you can also “sort” for personality. Do you want to deal with someone with the power to stare you down and be a challenge? Or do you want to deal with someone submissive? Your choices. We all are different. We all want different things. And there are sooooo many options out there. We are always “qualifying” things/people. Partially because we just plain-ass don’t have the time to do everything! ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phoenix/32/673_2.png) [@Phoenix](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2007, 12:32pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/38 "2007-06-03T12:32:43Z")
> [@Rbt](#): > > Like going to a place where you share interests (bookstores, etc), you can also “sort” for personality. Do you want to deal with someone with the power to stare you down and be a challenge? Or do you want to deal with someone submissive? Your choices. What if you have more than one interest.. which one do you choose? ---
**Author:** ![tacitus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@tacitus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tacitus)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2007, 4:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/39 "2007-06-03T16:40:18Z")
The sad, bad fact of life is that the great majority of hu-chimps (that’s US, dearie) are, well… **gloriously mired up to our necks in a lot of dysfunctional poo…** annnnnd when boy chimp meets girl chimp the dumbest, ,most primitive, tape playing-est, reactive, reflexive parts of our minds are activated… 🙂 which is why it is “relationships” that bring out the deeply established patterns in us, for better, worse, or boring as hell… In my personal history of relating and observing, this basic point keeps returning to my attention… people feel powerful **unconscious** attractions to other people who function at the same level of automaticity (or cruise control, or auto-pilot, if you prefer)… Some family systems are deeply auto-pilot-ish, where the family members relate, understand each other, and identify themselves with established patterns, and they have a very hard time coping with other individuals who don’t comply with those pattterns… ☹ Quite often I have observed in the wealthy to super-wealthy category of persons, especially after 2 or three generations of wealth, this particular problem most insidiously established, for the obvious reason that they have never had social reality “get in their face” to any meaningful degree, and no contrasting social information to help them disentangle themselves from often incredibly weird, self absorbed, self entitled, generally incurious worldviews. Not surprisingly, these fortunate individuals have an obscenely hard time “being natural” with other people, empathizing with their lives, or having some holistic sense of what it might mean for that person to BE who he or she is… Alright, so much for one of our worst case scenarios… What works then ? Well.. regardless of man or woman, gay or straight, young or old, one significant remark about a socially successful person is universal… **“I felt heard” or a close relative to that “I felt like I mattered”, “he/she made me feel interesting”…** * * * Soooo… this CD I’ve posted a link to might be a great starting point: [Be A Better Listener Hypnosis CD and downloadable MP3 by Steve G. Jones, Clinical Hypnotherapist](http://www.stevegjones.com/beabetterlistenerhypnosiscdmp3.htm) And why would that be ? Have you ever felt anything as insulting as someone who patronizes you by pretending to listen when they just want to get something out of you, or tunes you in and out at their narcissistic whim… or thinks the world was created for their gratification ? Disgusting and repulsive, right ? Like the Chevy Chase book about himself _ **“because I’m me and you’re not”** _… thanks for that… 🆒 Advice and observation from Tacitus’ Perch In The Sky… _The better the listening, the better the ability to fully hear, get, BE WITH, profoundly connect with another person, even if only for a brief animalistic sexual encounter, the better, more explosive, more mind expanding, more yogic the sex is… you think there would be a market for this stuff, right ?_ \*\* Alright, chimparoos… I’ve also noticed that when you’re “manifesting” a general state of deep listening, this is more of an ontologic thing, you’re “in the space of” (to use ghastly new age terminology) listening, appreciation, getting, comprehending… the other chimparoos, including the much desired chimparitas seem to unconsciously, autonomically pick up on this… another possible growth helper: [Overcome fear of intimacy Self Hypnosis CD and downloadable MP3 by Steve G. Jones, Clinical Hypnotherapist](http://www.stevegjones.com/fearofintimacyhypnotherapycdmp3.htm) So does this means you can’t be something af a cocky alpha chimp as well… sure, that can be a valuable pose as well as long as it is a function of choice, being stuck in alpha, or being stuck in nice guy _is like trying to drive a car stuck in one gear_, probably worse… chronic beta guys trying to play alpha for the night, with the help of too much liquid courage screw up royally, like my erstwhile Mr. Lonelyheart friend with his misguided crotch staring, where he got that idea into his head…😕 … internalized self loathing I suspect, he actually had a **masochistic need for rejection** , so he would unconsciously generate scenarios where he would experience maximal **masochistic payoff** by the disgusted expressions on women’s faces… you can take that one to your shrink for analysis…😮 Pass the bananas, if you would…😛 \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phoenix/32/673_2.png) [@Phoenix](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2007, 6:41pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479/40 "2007-06-03T18:41:11Z")
I’m not sure I have an autopilot in these areas… up to a few years ago I hadn’t taken this in hand and didn’t really make any effort (or was that the boring autopilot which lost opportunities?) Thanks for the links and great thoughts, tacitus.. I’m still psyched from yesterday’s great hits. Had a great time actually in all senses and at the least I made some good new friends with the help of pheros.. and possibly a couple of more than just friends I think…😃 I really had a changing gear yesterday… it’s super to operate that way, just fantastic, I think. Now to other areas of my life, I want to improve them as much as this one… with pheros I think we can really do some good self-improvement. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479.md?page=1) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/where-to-go-to-meet-women/479.md?page=3)