# Which mens' journals?

**URL:** <https://pheromonetalk.com/t/which-mens-journals/50632>\
**Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\
**Created:** [June 6, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/which-mens-journals/50632 "2011-06-06T19:25:57Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 3

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**Author:** ![ScienceStudent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@ScienceStudent](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ScienceStudent)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2011, 8:29pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/which-mens-journals/50632/3 "2011-06-06T20:29:08Z")

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> [@MuskCloud](#):
>
> …  
> So I say, ‘To Hell with the journals. What’s the question?’ 🙂  
> Musk

Hi Musk,  
The question is _me._ I described great detail in my Intro: [Science Student -- need I say more?](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/science-student-need-i-say-more/50510)  
The short story is, I’m ADD, oblivious, literal and yet adept with wordplay. I grew up as a nerd, a tomboy, the tallest in my class until 8th grade, the smartest in my high-school when I _was_ in 8th grade, a C-cup at 11, and all this culminates in my being afraid a guy will only want me for sex and then leave, and I won’t be able to see any of the signals. (I am recovering from growing up under the impression that guys didn’t like tall, funny, bright, active, not fussy with makeup and dieting (I don’t need either), overly-busty (F now, but proportionate), and not recognizing or willing to play games.)  
I’ve never (to my knowledge) been hit on by a guy who wasn’t drunk, homeless, or crazy. (It is NOT a compliment if you have no standards.) I’ve never been offered or asked for a number. I had not had even the kindergarten-hand-holding relationship or _anything_ before I was 18 and a junior in college.  
I had never been on a “date” in my life before August, so I started on an online dating site, and have been on about 100 first dates in 10 months. I have learned _immensely_ in that time, and am now able to filter out more of those seeking “casual” before meeting. However, I have been on less than 10 second dates, and 3 went to 3-4. (I had “fallen” into a very few relationships with acquaintances without actually “dating,” each time thinking that was my only “option.”)  
There is some change I think between all the online and voice chatting and meeting in person. The witty banter and the guy just disappear. I get a lot of “you’re too amazing,” and “I don’t see long-term potential.” Mind you, this is after hours of happy, laughing conversation, often with ordering more drinks, after food is gone, or even moving on to other venue(s). I’m not sure I’ve ever had a _bad_ date.

So, not the shortest story after all. I’m better, but still oblivious enough that the only ‘sign’ I’ll recognize is if you _hit_ me with a billboard.

Thanks!

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