# Why do guys stare and do nothing? **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [May 5, 2007, 6:00am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501 "2007-05-05T06:00:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 10:23pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/81 "2007-05-10T22:23:35Z")
well that was utter BS. judge yourself if judging is your thing. > [@](#): > > If you refuse to believe that quantifying your attractiveness is usefull, you just don’t understand men. If you ask a man to rate a woman he will take a few careful looks to confirm his impression but the instant we see you, we subconsciously find your place in the bell curve of hotness. i just asked 2 men in my presence if any of this made sense. one said “is this kid in highschool?” the other laughed out LOUD and said “dude, i didnt even do that in highschool.” sigh. again, only useful to the PUA minded… all men do not think this way.🙄 ---
**Author:** ![mesmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@mesmer](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mesmer)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 1:02am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/82 "2007-05-11T01:02:50Z")
Lor, It’s one thing to tell the truth to a woman that’s 3,000 miles away, it’s another thing at 3 feet. From your profile photo, you might just fall in to that “more naive, optomistic” group. Don’t freak out, that’s a compliment. My very superficial first impression was 8.5+. I’m not saying you are naive, but if you were born a 3, you would have had very different interactions with men and women too. Hell, I have heard of grandmothers pinching ugly babies until they cry so they won’t have to hold them. Now think of those two guys. If they are attracted to you at all, they aren’t going to say “oh, yeah, your an 8-5 easy”. I can’t remember where I heard this but: “If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem” I’m just saying that every one should look at themself and fix what they can. I’m trying to get back to that 7.5, I’m trying to be part of the solution. ---
**Author:** ![mesmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@mesmer](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mesmer)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 4:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/83 "2007-05-11T04:06:52Z")
It looks like my first reply didn’t stick. I do intentionally judge myself. Would it be better if I walked around looking like a 5, getting shot down by 8’s and thinking there was something wrong with the 8’s? I’m not asking her to wear a numbered jersy, just telling her that an honest evaluation of herself (by herself, for herself) will clarify the situation. I hope she’s the 10 that needs to be more approachable, but not everyone is a 10. But everyone else can try to improve. I don’t want to rehash too much of my missing post because it should show up eventually. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 9:44am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/84 "2007-05-11T09:44:09Z")
In my opinion only people who are insecure need to go around rating there looks. If a guy or girl came up to me and asked what number on the looks scale I thought they were, thats the first thought that comes to mind. > [@](#): > > If you refuse to believe that quantifying your attractiveness is usefull, you just don’t understand men. If you ask a man to rate a woman he will take a few careful looks to confirm his impression but the instant we see you, we subconsciously find your place in the bell curve of hotness. You need to understand women we look at the whole picture. You could be a 10 and the minute you open your mouth drop down to a 5. Two hot girls could be standing together and one will think your a 10 while the other thinks your a 5. I have seen this alot. I am not saying that PUA tactics dont work. I am sure they do on women who are looking to get laid and really dont give a crap about you in any other way. Thats fine and I dont judge people who are in this stage of life. When you start looking for a relationship that means more than this I think the PUA tactics wont work as well. Women are not as stupid as the PUA’s think we are. While there are a few who fall for the tactics 90% of us know the game being played and can play it just as well. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 10:42am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/85 "2007-05-11T10:42:30Z")
> [@mesmer](#): > > It looks like my first reply didn’t stick. > > I do intentionally judge myself. > > Would it be better if I walked around looking like a 5, getting shot down by 8’s and thinking there was something wrong with the 8’s? > > I’m not asking her to wear a numbered jersy, just telling her that an honest evaluation of herself (by herself, for herself) will clarify the situation. > > I hope she’s the 10 that needs to be more approachable, but not everyone is a 10. But everyone else can try to improve. > > I don’t want to rehash too much of my missing post because it should show up eventually. > [@](#): > > I heard somewhere that a woman will decide if she might sleep with a man within two minutes of meeting. This is the same thing but men are more superficial and faster at it. see, everyone IS a “10” to someone. the ones who tend to be more a “10” than others only attract the the louder,more shallow men, NOT the majority. 😉 i just think “kaka” when one guy _in an attraction forum_ tries to speak on behalf of all manhood because he read “how to get laid quick” books. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 10:45am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/86 "2007-05-11T10:45:36Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > In my opinion only people who are insecure need to go around rating there looks. If a guy or girl came up to me and asked what number on the looks scale I thought they were, thats the first thought that comes to mind. > > You need to understand women we look at the whole picture. You could be a 10 and the minute you open your mouth drop down to a 5. Two hot girls could be standing together and one will think your a 10 while the other thinks your a 5. I have seen this alot. I am not saying that PUA tactics dont work. I am sure they do on women who are looking to get laid and really dont give a crap about you in any other way. Thats fine and I dont judge people who are in this stage of life. When you start looking for a relationship that means more than this I think the PUA tactics wont work as well. Women are not as stupid as the PUA’s think we are. While there are a few who fall for the tactics 90% of us know the game being played and can play it just as well. > > Tisha heres what Tisha: guys would have the minds blown if they only realized PUA tactics ONLY work on chicks that _would have slept with them anyway_ and only needed them to initiate in order to get there. by initiate, i mean say “hi”. 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phoenix/32/673_2.png) [@Phoenix](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 1:04pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/87 "2007-05-11T13:04:57Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > heres what Tisha: > > guys would have the minds blown if they only realized PUA tactics ONLY work on chicks that _would have slept with them anyway_ and only needed them to initiate in order to get there. > > by initiate, i mean say “hi”. > > 🙄 I agree.. what we guys need is to read up on how to improve their communication, relationships, how to care for others, how to live by one’s heart etc.. rather than tips on how to be insincere, which is a dead end. ---
**Author:** ![Kitten](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/kitten/32/1051_2.png) [@Kitten](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Kitten)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 1:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/88 "2007-05-11T13:27:37Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > see, everyone IS a “10” to someone. This is so true. Attraction is totally subjective. I don’t get how any one guy can assign me a rating in general. All he can say is whether I appeal to _him_ or not and by how much. ---
**Author:** ![ash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@ash](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ash)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 1:32pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/89 "2007-05-11T13:32:52Z")
> [@mesmer](#): > > Women and even men will treat you much differently if you look like an 8 instead of a 4. If you ask for help at a book store, the female clerk will take you to the book you are looking for instead of telling you which aisle it’s on. If you ask for a favor, you usually get it. It’s like the Beatles song, How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people? > > It does tremendous things for your self confidence as well. I think you have this last part completely backwards, your self-confidence is what makes the bigger difference (which is incidentally why A314 does what it does, or any other –Androsterone product). Backing up, it’s not what you look like to a woman that decides if she will help you, it’s how you carry yourself and how you ask. Women do not think in the same way as men. If you stand there with an expression says I want to rape you with my eyes for hours and you do so the entire time you ask if you can get help finding a book, or ask her cleavage where the book is… she might tell you, but she sure isn’t going to help you find it. If you look her in the eye with an expression that says, gosh would I like to know you better (regardless of what stupid number you’d give HER), and you politely ask for a brief moment of her very important time in locating the book you need, she will run off ahead of you and lead you right to the book in question and be glad to do so. Because of how you made HER feel, not because of how YOU look. > [@mesmer](#): > > So why are women afraid to evaluate themselves? It will just let you know how hard you have to work on other things.If you are a 10, you might want to make yourself more approachable. If you are an 8 you might want to use instant honesty to filter out the jerks. If you are a 6, you might want to take away some of the guys that normally go after the 8’s. If you’re a 2 you might want to snag a less repulsive drunk at last call. There is no point for women to evaluate themselves, they are already far more critical of themselves than any guy ever will be, except maybe a PUA. Furthermore, looks are so subjective and change over time, but personality remains. They sell different kinds of shoes because different people want different things. I ran into an old friend a few years back and he had married a girl who he couldn’t get his arms around and they BOTH were beaming and happy and giggling like schoolchildren. HE understands something PUA’s will never in their entire lives grasp. The outside is a container for the really, truly good stuff that’s hidden inside. > [@mesmer](#): > > If you refuse to believe that quantifying your attractiveness is usefull, you just don’t understand men. If you ask a man to rate a woman he will take a few careful looks to confirm his impression but the instant we see you, we subconsciously find your place in the bell curve of hotness. If you believe quantifying attractiveness is something men do, you don’t understand men either. Frankly, this is not abnormal for Americans, in my experience – degrading women is practically the American way. PUA’s probably have subscriptions to Stuff, Maxim, Blender, FHM, and/or other degrading disrespectful magazines. They probably are regulars at strip clubs and don’t know and cannot even imagine that a true gentleman would never enter a so-called gentleman’s club. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/90 "2007-05-11T14:44:14Z")
> [@](#): > > There is no point for women to evaluate themselves, they are already far more critical of themselves than any guy ever will be, except maybe a PUA. Furthermore, looks are so subjective and change over time, but personality remains. They sell different kinds of shoes because different people want different things. I ran into an old friend a few years back and he had married a girl who he couldn’t get his arms around and they BOTH were beaming and happy and giggling like schoolchildren. HE understands something PUA’s will never in their entire lives grasp. The outside is a container for the really, truly good stuff that’s hidden inside. 😮 i just wanted to say thank you Ash (contrary to popular belief i do NOT thank him for agreeing with me!) i am thanking you for being ballsy enough to say you are not like some men on the forum ,_regardless of the way in which you disagree_. my issue is not that people are different; but that some men on the forum truely think _all_ men require the very same things that _they_ do in order to feel like a man. NOT all men require constant variety or even secretly wish they had it. some do, and thats okay. but to say all men will rate you and that all men think certain things is the same as saying all chinese or black or arab or white or whatever are a certain way. its ignorant 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@ash](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ash)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 2:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/91 "2007-05-11T14:58:05Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > my issue is not that people are different; but that some men on the forum truely think _all_ men require the very same things that _they_ do in order to feel like a man. > > NOT all men require constant variety or even secretly wish they had it. Actually, my complaint is that they say their behavior is “_manly_” suggesting that having no respect for others is an adult behavior when it is in fact quite juvenile. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ---
**Author:** ![tacitus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@tacitus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tacitus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 4:04pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/92 "2007-05-11T16:04:29Z")
In every case of my experience, the dynamics between people are shaped by interest… are you interesting to me ? Am I interesting to you ? ---
**Author:** ![mesmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@mesmer](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mesmer)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 5:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/93 "2007-05-11T17:15:48Z")
I’m not saying that every time I see a girl I think 5.3, 4.7, 7.1, etc.If you put two girls in one room and add a guy, his brain can’t help but evaluate the visual information.If those girls are trying to get approached by the man, first impressions help.I don’t care how beautiful you are on the inside, if a guy hasn’t seen it, he’s going to rely on the information he has and in the beginning it’s visual information.I feel like we are talking about different problems. Initially attracting a guy and getting a guy to recognize inner beauty are two different things. Getting a guy to initially recognize inner beauty is only possible in the movies. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 5:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/94 "2007-05-11T17:49:24Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s one thing to tell the truth to a woman that’s 3,000 miles away, it’s another thing at 3 feet. im not sure i understand why you have issues telling the truth in general. > [@](#): > > From your profile photo, you might just fall in to that “more naive, optomistic” group. > > Don’t freak out, that’s a compliment. My very superficial first impression was 8.5+. i dont freak out, i yawn. you still cant humor a thought outside your own beliefs. i humored it until enough guys said,trust me,this is superficial. i rate myself a 100 because i wont lie to make someone like me. since this is the quality i look for in others,and i happen to live it, i fall into my own catagory of exemplary. > [@](#): > > I’m not saying you are naive, but if you were born a 3, you would have had very different interactions with men and women too. almost no one is exempt from some sort labeling and childhood trauma. your “3” was self imposed at a young age.some people actually hear the insults and refuse to believe them. if you think you were a three, it only means you believed the people who were shallow enough to insult someone they may have actually been jealous of. wow, what a concept,huh? the people who judged you may have thought you were the best thing since sliced bread, and lied out of jealousy, but you bought into their drama. > [@](#): > > Hell, I have heard of grandmothers pinching ugly babies until they cry so they won’t have to hold them. whoever told you that is in the same catagory as serial killers. you know interesting people. > [@](#): > > I can’t remember where I heard this but: > > “If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem” its a problem to not look like everyone else? some people prefer skinny women- should i skip meals? some people prefer blonde women, should i dye my hair so that i can finally be a 9 ??? > [@](#): > > I’m just saying that every one should look at themself and fix what they can. > > I’m trying to get back to that 7.5, I’m trying to be part of the solution. whats the solution? bagging someone high maintenance? stick with porn, it wont dissapoint you 😉 ---
**Author:** ![smn1234](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/smn1234/32/2430_2.png) [@smn1234](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/smn1234)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 6:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/95 "2007-05-11T18:27:50Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > stick with porn, it wont dissapoint you 😉 no doubt ---
**Author:** ![SteveO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@SteveO](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SteveO)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 9:37pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/96 "2007-05-11T21:37:07Z")
> [@tacitus](#): > > In every case of my experience, the dynamics between people are shaped by interest… are you interesting to me ? Am I interesting to you ? I couldn’t agree more! ---
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 3:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/97 "2007-05-12T03:06:08Z")
> [@](#): > > When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Wow, I’m still waiting to grow up. I love being emotional, creative, curious, impulsive and downright immature. Makes for good art and lots of excitment. In fact, the older I get, the more childish I feel. Just throws me off a bit then I peek in the mirror, but what the hay… ---
**Author:** ![Rbt](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/rbt/32/2066_2.png) [@Rbt](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Rbt)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2007, 1:11am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/98 "2007-06-01T01:11:05Z")
I’ve reached a point in life where I don’t even bother much responding to thses discussions anymore. I’ve decided that everyone is different. What person A thinks is a 9, person B thinks is a 2… Some like pepperoni pizza, some want pineapple, someone else likes both… “Ratings” and the like are probably good for back when you are just staring out and trying to figure things out. PUA material, like so many other things, just gives you an option, an idea, something to try, a plan to follow and experiment with. This month I’ll try Mexican food, next month let’s experiment with Chinese style… Been there done that with so much of this already… \ Yes sometimes I stare and do nothing too… for any of many reasons. Too many variables in life. Can’t read too much into actions/reactions. Just some thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![rollercoaster](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/rollercoaster/32/2361_2.png) [@rollercoaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/rollercoaster)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2007, 12:31pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/99 "2007-06-01T12:31:51Z")
from my expereince, whether guys go primarily for looks or personality depends on how experienced they are, for example, this one guy i know he is always sorounded by chicks, and the majority of them are just downright ugly, but really fun to talk to etc, he is able to get just about any girl he wants, but chooses ugly with personality over hot without. and i know a few other guys just like him. but a guy like me with no experience at all with girls, would prefer a hot girls, i dunno though if its becouse its the only way to really rate the girl, as we are used looking at things, nature etc etc and seeing (subconsciously) if its somthing we like or not. or if its becouse of lack of selfconfidence and and having an inferiority complex that we prefer girls that would make us look/feel better, and seems socially acceptable. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2007, 2:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/100 "2007-06-01T14:02:37Z")
why do some call people ugly,just because they themselves arent attracted to them? habit? 😕 [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501.md?page=4) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501.md?page=6)