# Why do guys stare and do nothing? **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [May 5, 2007, 6:00am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501 "2007-05-05T06:00:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 5:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/121 "2007-06-02T17:49:12Z")
> [@](#): > > I think ugly is something that comes from within and that all people are beautiful I am just not attracted to them all. > > Tisha thank you. ---
**Author:** ![smn1234](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/smn1234/32/2430_2.png) [@smn1234](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/smn1234)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 9:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/122 "2007-06-02T21:46:30Z")
That is indeed a correct statement, in my opinion, but doens’t help me understand why society has made it so that women also stare and do nothing, and that’s appropriate… ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 10:23pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/123 "2007-06-02T22:23:13Z")
> [@smn1234](#): > > That is indeed a correct statement, in my opinion, but doens’t help me understand why society has made it so that women also stare and do nothing, and that’s appropriate… quit bemoaning the fact the society (yeah,this includes YOU) prefers there to be a definitive way a man behaves and a woman behaves. if you look at the things _you like_ about a gal pal vs a guy pal, having to initiate is a small price to pay 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![ReaderGrrl](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/readergrrl/32/2170_2.png) [@ReaderGrrl](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ReaderGrrl)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2007, 3:11am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/124 "2007-06-03T03:11:58Z")
> [@smn1234](#): > > That is indeed a correct statement, in my opinion, but doens’t help me understand why society has made it so that women also stare and do nothing, and that’s appropriate… I think only some of it is society, and some of it is biology. There are obvious exceptions, and I am no expert, but it seems to me that men tend to be wired a little differently than us ladies, and like to be the chaser and not the chasee. . . ---
**Author:** ![rollercoaster](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/rollercoaster/32/2361_2.png) [@rollercoaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/rollercoaster)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/125 "2007-06-03T18:16:40Z")
I may just be wierd ^^ but iv enjoyed girls trying to seduce me atleast as much as i enjoy seducing girls (when i get past the first 5 minutes atleast…) ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phoenix/32/673_2.png) [@Phoenix](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2007, 6:32pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/126 "2007-06-03T18:32:11Z")
> [@rollercoaster](#): > > I may just be wierd ^^ but iv enjoyed girls trying to seduce me atleast as much as i enjoy seducing girls (when i get past the first 5 minutes atleast…) I even think I prefer it - it just happened to me yesterday… ---
**Author:** ![LaurieNY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bbce88/32.png) [@LaurieNY](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/LaurieNY)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2007, 9:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/127 "2007-06-03T21:36:40Z")
I bet you do enjoy it, but I bet you don’t wind up with those women long-term. There are exceptions to every rule, of course (that was an unintended pun, if anyone even caught it), but generally speaking it’s going to be the women who catch your eye enough for you to approach them and the women you have to work hard to pursue who are going to hold your interest. Seduction is one thing, but those of us who are after real relationships know better than to go approaching men and squelching the chase. ---
**Author:** ![rollercoaster](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/rollercoaster/32/2361_2.png) [@rollercoaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/rollercoaster)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2007, 10:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/128 "2007-06-03T22:59:45Z")
The only “relationship” (if you look loosley on the term relationship) iv been in, it was the girl that seduced me, not the other way around. though, that probably says more about my abilities, then how the world works 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 2:04am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/129 "2007-06-04T02:04:15Z")
right on,Laurie. i dont remember asking a guy out before…i think ever. but i am definately guilty of intiating anything and everything that happens after the chase is over 😛 i think the women who do the chasing are going to wind-up second guessing the feelings the guy claims to have due to not experiencing the chase. it was an effortless make. now he really has to do some proving, hopefully not monetarily 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![smn1234](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/smn1234/32/2430_2.png) [@smn1234](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/smn1234)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 3:08am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/130 "2007-06-04T03:08:07Z")
Actually, it’s funny that this is being mentioned.. but when girls hit on me (and only certain girls… idk how I make the decision)… i begin to think they’re desperate and I tend to dislike them and not want to get anywhere with them since im no longer interested… it’s wierd though.. because I don’t like to initiate as much and want the girl to approach.. but then… the above happens… how complicated is that ---
**Author:** ![m3turbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@m3turbo](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/m3turbo)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 3:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/131 "2007-06-04T03:37:38Z")
> [@LaurieNY](#): > > I bet you do enjoy it, but I bet you don’t wind up with those women long-term. There are exceptions to every rule, of course (that was an unintended pun, if anyone even caught it), but generally speaking it’s going to be the women who catch your eye enough for you to approach them and the women you have to work hard to pursue who are going to hold your interest. > > Seduction is one thing, but those of us who are after real relationships know better than to go approaching men and squelching the chase. Just because a girl intiates a conversation with a guy or shows signs of romantic interest does not mean the guy is going to get it and it certainly does not mean there is no chase. It just means that the girl unselfish enough to actually help the guy out a little. ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phoenix/32/673_2.png) [@Phoenix](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 5:21am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/132 "2007-06-04T05:21:20Z")
> [@m3turbo](#): > > Just because a girl intiates a conversation with a guy or shows signs of romantic interest does not mean the guy is going to get it and it certainly does not mean there is no chase. It just means that the girl unselfish enough to actually help the guy out a little. After all she didn’t ask me out. But she was clearly attracted to me and showed it… ---
**Author:** ![smn1234](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/smn1234/32/2430_2.png) [@smn1234](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/smn1234)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/133 "2007-08-28T16:33:23Z")
> [@m3turbo](#): > > Just because a girl intiates a conversation with a guy or shows signs of romantic interest does not mean the guy is going to get it and it certainly does not mean there is no chase. It just means that the girl unselfish enough to actually help the guy out a little. Very tru… I’ve also noticed a LOT of unattractive girls do this more ☹.. not to be mean but I guess they’ve built a tolerance to rejection. ---
**Author:** ![MarkL](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/markl/32/825_2.png) [@MarkL](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MarkL)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2007, 5:20pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/134 "2007-08-28T17:20:36Z")
I’ll go out on a limb here, and bring something up from way back in this thread … I’m curious to know why someone might think there is no evolutionary substance to the idea that approaching a woman is inherently risky. Humans may not have been around that long, but primates have been for a long time.. And the biology of primates is the working ground for the evolution of … [human pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/)! Yes, approaching a female (and thereby attempting to claim alpha male status) opens a male to challenge. Which gets my adrenaline pumping, just typing that sentence. Do you really think that the tendency of reproductive age human males to hang out in groups … is HUMAN? * * * Now, more recently in this discussion comes the concept of REJECTION. As critical thinkers, every time we identify some piece of analysis or wisdom or logic that is faulty, we label it ‘stupid’ or ‘bullshit’ or whatever. Factual defects are outright lies. The more bullshit, etc. we can identify before it enters our mental space, the better we are. Sort of a “Luke Skywalker deflecting all incoming with his glowing Jedi blade”. It’s probably a pretty good thing to do: defend our models of reality by rejecting that which is faulty. Isn’t it? But UGLY and BEAUTIFUL are about rejecting or selecting on aesthetic grounds … or on ethical grounds! Is UGLY behavior more or less repellent than UGLY physicality? I hope we’re beyond the superstition that a physical deformity or blemish indicates some inherent internal evil or moral defect… Or is your model of reality that you can judge a book by its cover? And while critical thinking that rejects broken ideas of reality may make you “smarter”, rejecting those you consider ugly won’t ever make you better looking. Rejection can easily be one of those fake ego-stroke activities unless done carefully, I think. ---
**Author:** ![MMaddox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b782af/32.png) [@MMaddox](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MMaddox)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2007, 6:56pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/135 "2007-08-28T18:56:27Z")
Sometimes it’s tough for a guy to approach an attractive woman, especially if she’s with friends. It’s tough to be shot down/ridiculed by one woman, but the emotional ramifications of simply the possibility of being ridiculed by multiple women will keep a lot of guys away. I’m a lot more confident about myself and my appearance now, and am more of a “what the heck, I’ll give it a shot” type person now than I used to be, but I still remember (and sometimes feel) that hesitation/apprehension! In my experience, a girl I find attractive is with a more open, talkative, or outgoing girl, I’ll end up talking to her more than the girl I find attractive simply because it’s much easier to hold a conversation with her, and then I’ll see if the girl I find attractive joins in the conversation. If you were to stay relatively quiet and let your friend to the talking, for instance, I would assume that you weren’t attracted to me. Oh, and believe me, the guys looking at you think you’re attractive - otherwise they wouldn’t be looking at you! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Astrocloud](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrocloud/32/1961_2.png) [@Astrocloud](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrocloud)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/136 "2007-08-28T18:59:12Z")
Not all men who stare are available. I was raised with the value that “looking is okay” but acting on it is not (if you are with someone else). Hope this helps. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2007, 12:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/137 "2007-08-31T00:06:51Z")
> [@smn1234](#): > > Very tru… I’ve also noticed a LOT of unattractive girls do this more ☹.. not to be mean but I guess they’ve built a tolerance to rejection. its possible that they grew up in a household where men and womens roles are not defined much. im seeing some of this lately 😕 also, whats unnattractive to you is very attractive to someone else. i find some people that others think are gorgeous very unnappealing , and others that people think arent so hot very sexxay. take brad pitt and adam sandler. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2007, 12:47am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/138 "2007-08-31T00:47:33Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > its possible that they grew up in a household where men and womens roles are not defined much. > im seeing some of this lately 😕 > > also, whats unnattractive to you is very attractive to someone else. > i find some people that others think are gorgeous very unnappealing , and others that people think arent so hot very sexxay. > take brad pitt and adam sandler. Very true, Brad is very attractive but something about him just turns me off. I think Adam Sandler is very sexy. I got to meet him in person when he was filming Mr Deeds in CT, He was so nice to everyone and he has that charisma you mentioned before Lor. Hey Lor I saw your new picture. Man you have gorgeous eyes. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phoenix/32/673_2.png) [@Phoenix](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2007, 11:40am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/139 "2007-08-31T11:40:02Z")
I just watched Adam Sandler’s Click on dvd.. It’s a nice movie with a positive ‘awakening’ message like what we were saying in _that_ thread… but there were many too many dug humping dogs in the movie for me.. Kate Beckinsale was gorgeous as the wife though.. Hmm I’d like to date someone who resembles her! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![smn1234](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/smn1234/32/2430_2.png) [@smn1234](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/smn1234)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2007, 2:51pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501/140 "2007-08-31T14:51:32Z")
I don’t like Sandler and I don’t think Brad Pitt is hot. I have friends who are hotter… lol same with the opposite sex… Angelina Jolie isn’t that hot.. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501.md?page=6) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-do-guys-stare-and-do-nothing/3501.md?page=8)