# Why more women are cheating? **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [May 6, 2007, 3:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-more-women-are-cheating/3514 "2007-05-06T15:25:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@ash](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ash)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 7:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-more-women-are-cheating/3514/21 "2007-05-09T19:58:17Z")
> [@chirimoya](#): > > I don’t know why this kind of stuff infuriates me so. Maybe it’s because I’m so frustrated by the social conventions that say men have to initiate and if women do, it violates the biological status quo and men like a receptive and soft feminine woman and yadda yadda etc. We have had a sexual revolution, women do have more rights and their gender construct has expanded BUT women, imo, have evolved WAY beyond what men and general society are willing to accept. > > If a woman acts LIKE A MAN (e.g. takes on the same BEHAVIORS that are human in nature but have been encoded into the male gender paradigm – to mention some: direct, focused, serious, detached, active, logical), she is unapproachable, a strange, alien fortress of a woman that no man will attempt to plunder except the foolhardy or heroic. It makes me sick! > > It makes sense that marriages where women chose their mates worked because when a woman knows what she wants, it cuts the static in the transmission and makes life pretty direct and relatively free of obstacles which are addressed as they come up. But for a man to accept that a clear path may be blazed by a woman? And give up control… ain’t gonna happen. I disagree. I would say that you don’t mean acting like a man, unless you mean standing up to pee, as that would be the only trait that is singularly masculine. Now, lest you think I fail to comprehend your plight, I actually agree with you. I think it’s great that women are beginning to initiate more and I am all for equality between men and women. However, what equality means is sort of a big problem, nobody clarifies just what they mean by it. Do I think behaviors that are gentlemanly such as opening and holding doors and things of that sort are inappropriate or suggest inferiority? Absolutely not. Society has declared those things to be considerate. At the same time, would a woman holding the door for me offend me? No, not at all, nor do I feel horribly because I was unable to get the door. What ever do you do when there are two doors one behind the other (which is almost always)? Seems like you take turns to me. Some of us actually prefer a strong woman (and I don’t mean physical muscles, that’s another discussion entirely, I mean personality) and are even put off by displays of complete submission. Gosh, I remember in the movies “Coming to America”, the wife at the beginning who wanted whatever he wanted and had none of her own opinions. How worthless is that, really? Okay, I suppose I’m a bit unlike many men for that reason, which has even made finding a church in this area difficult. They tend to believe that women are inferior and that the Bible says so (which is not the case, but is another issue) and I have a problem with that. (If you wonder, many of these same churches believe in corporal punishment for children which I also cannot abide and believe contradicts God’s intentions, but is again off issue.) So the men who want a woman who always believes he’s right, to me, are not men at all. Men and women think differently and that difference is not a bad thing, it means both men and women have their own valid constructive comments to add to a discussion. So, frankly, if you have trouble finding men who appreciate that you have a strong personality, keep searching, there are men out there who actually will be FOND of that aspect about you. Oh, and don’t move to Wisconsin, they really don’t seem to like that here. I’m sure I’ve forgotten more I intended to say, but it’s getting kinda long… ---
**Author:** ![examine](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/examine/32/1665_2.png) [@examine](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/examine)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 11:50pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-more-women-are-cheating/3514/22 "2007-05-09T23:50:54Z")
from my understand strong women/alpha women, go after what they want. atleast thats what ive seen… ---
**Author:** ![Mtnjim](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mtnjim/32/2010_2.png) [@Mtnjim](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mtnjim)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 11:57pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-more-women-are-cheating/3514/23 "2007-05-09T23:57:53Z")
When one looks at today’s primitive “hunter/gatherer” societies, you would find that men and women are _far_ more “equal” than in today’s society. So based on this one might suspect that people back in “caveman days” were also more equal than today. We’ve sure come a long way—baby!🙄 Before someone brings it up, I said “equal” not “the same”, even back then, we specialized.😃 ---
**Author:** ![blkknight41](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ba0ec/32.png) [@blkknight41](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/blkknight41)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 8:17pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-more-women-are-cheating/3514/24 "2011-03-09T20:17:43Z")
Thsi may sound simple , but if a woman isn’t happy with the man shes with for whatever reason , she will try to find who or what makes her happy ,just as a mna will 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 3:17am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-more-women-are-cheating/3514/25 "2011-03-10T03:17:36Z")
Well since the three year old topic is already resurrected, I’ll go ahead and chime in. Divorce in general is more common these days for a handful of reasons. First, as western society becomes more secular and organized religion (ANY religion) plays a smaller and smaller role in peoples lives, marriage…which is/was originally a religious construct seems less sacred, so the notion of breaking vows made before a God you only halfheartedly believe in doesn’t seem like quite as large of a taboo as it once was. Secondly, people confuse commonality with true compatibility. I’ve known several people that got married talking about “ohhh we have so much in common it’s like we’re soul mates”. When questioned about the specifics of what they have in common it’s usually trivial likes and dislikes…we both like the same bands, we have the same favorite movies, we have the same favorite color etc. But people, especially younger people today tend to be so blinded by initial attraction that they ignore differences that could be HUGE obstacles. A religious person, especially a devoutly religious person is likely to run into trouble marrying an atheist. One half of the relationship holds to a belief system that means they believe their partner is essentially damned to hell, the other half believes the person they love (which should include respect) is naive and foolish for believing in an invisible man in the sky. Other issues range from children, idea’s regarding gender roles, and lifestyle preferences “I like the country she likes the city” etc. These issues are easy to ignore during a casual dating phase when you’re likely so concerned about turning off the other person that you go out of your way not to “make a big deal” about things that really are a big deal. Once married and living under the same roof these issues will inevitably come up. My preferences in music and movies are pretty strong, but if I’m married and my wife wants to watch a Julia Roberts movie I can suck it up and sit through it graciously…my religion, my feelings on having a family, what kind of home I want to have etc…not as easy to compromise on an if we aren’t on the same page, things could fall apart. So most marriages that fall apart are ones that never should have happened in the first place, and they happen easily because marriage as an institution just doesn’t have as much meaning to people as it once did. But why are so many women being the ones to initiate? Well for one, it’s much easier today for a woman to get a job to support herself financially than it was with previous generations. A lot of women stayed in bad marriages because they simply couldn’t afford to not have their husbands paycheck. Which leads to the second reason…how many men have you heard of being awarded spousal support FROM their wives? And a mans obligation to continue financially supporting a woman a he no longer sleeps with doesn’t end when she starts fucking another guy…it only ends if the guy she’s fucking decides to marry her take the financial responsibility off your hands. So if I started dating a divorcee that was getting alimony from a fairly well off doctor or lawyer ex husband…I can A.) continue sleeping with her and enjoy not having to support her, and maybe even benefiting from her ex’s paycheck…or B.) I marry her myself, lose her exes paycheck and turn a financial asset into a financial burden…hmmm. Along a similar issue, while I’m not sure of the exact numbers but from what I can tell the legal system seems to believe that having a penis makes you an inferior parent when it comes to deciding child custody, but your financial obligation to those children doesn’t disappear when they do. Then, you need only go to a bar or club…somebody mentioned Sadie Hawkins and that’s a stellar example. Women don’t approach men, they don’t know how and that’s usually ok because they don’t have to. Put an attractive well dressed man at one end of the bar and an attractive woman at the other and I guarantee you the woman will be approached by FAR more men than the man will with women…even if he’s attractive he still has to do most of the work for a relationship to begin and progress. Plus any woman that the man meets will have to factor in that he has financial obligations to another woman, and to children that she herself did not bear. This in many ways lowers his viability as a potential mate since any children she has with him will be sharing his resources with another woman’s children. I know a LOT of girls that actually have a policy of not even starting a relationship with guys that have kids from previous relationships…they call it “baby momma drama” and they want NO part of it. So why would women initiate divorce as often as they do? Between social norms and outright laws, they have a whole hell of a lot more to gain and substantially less to lose than men do in divorce. And if you ladies know any men that are “commitment phobes” trust me, while they may not know how to articulate it, these are the fears running through their mind when they think about marriage. ---
**Author:** ![chads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2acd7d/32.png) [@chads](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/chads)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 3:52am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-more-women-are-cheating/3514/26 "2011-03-10T03:52:40Z")
> [@RADMAN513](#): > > Well since the three year old topic is already resurrected, I’ll go ahead and chime in. > Divorce in general is more common these days for a handful of reasons. > > . I agree with your post except for this. Divorce rates peaked in 1981 and have been falling since. ---
**Author:** ![SteveO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@SteveO](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SteveO)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-more-women-are-cheating/3514/27 "2011-03-10T18:07:40Z")
> [@chads](#): > > I agree with your post except for this. Divorce rates peaked in 1981 and have been falling since. Yes and so has actual marriages dropped as well 🙂 [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-more-women-are-cheating/3514.md?page=1)