# Women, why do you choose a man for marriage? **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [March 24, 2007, 1:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696 "2007-03-24T01:03:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mohammad\_Shah](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mohammad_shah/32/873_2.png) [@Mohammad\_Shah](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mohammad_Shah)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2007, 2:16am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/21 "2007-03-31T02:16:22Z")
> [@AKmedic](#): > > It probably comes from my experience with Fire/EMS. If a dude can handle an emergency calmly, he’ll probably be able to keep it together during other life crises. One of my exes was way too high strung and it was annoying to watch him freak out about every little thing. Well, it’s easier to handle fire or a sinking ship than women!😛 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lomu11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a183cd/32.png) [@lomu11](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/lomu11)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 12:24am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/22 "2007-04-01T00:24:36Z")
Nunya said I’m wired to like boobies! ---
**Author:** ![Nunya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ac8455/32.png) [@Nunya](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Nunya)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 12:47am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/23 "2007-04-01T00:47:54Z")
not just boobies - but boobies or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Dancing\_Joker](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dancing_joker/32/1924_2.png) [@Dancing\_Joker](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Dancing_Joker)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 6:22am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/24 "2007-04-01T06:22:57Z")
> [@AKmedic](#): > > Well, I can’t speak for the other ladies, but here’s my list of requirements for a partner. > > - Kind, generous, and loving. > - Intelligent and a hard worker. > - Treats me with tenderness and believes that a relationship should have mutual respect. > - Resilient and deals with stress well. > - Wants to have children someday, is patient with children, and kind to them. Is willing to adopt if we can’t have children naturally. > - Loves animals. > - Likes the outdoors (hiking and stuff like that). > - Believes in monogamy and marriage as a lifelong commitment. > I would like someone that is analytical yet are balanced and is able to think right-brained as well as left. I will probably end up marrying an engineer or scientist. Will you marry me, AKmedic? 🙂 😉 😛 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 1:00am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/25 "2007-04-02T01:00:24Z")
> [@catlord17](#): > > Alright, so none of these answers surprise me. But none of them really answer my question, either. I will ask a different way. > > When a woman sees these qualities in a man, and she decides she wants to be committed to that man, why? All people have a list of qualities they are looking for in a person they would commit to. Those qualities will be different depending on what the individual needs and can change over time as a person matures and changes. Your question of why a women wants to commit to a person once they find someone with the qualities they are looking for is simple (IMO). Its because we Love them. Because life (while it would go on) would not be as happy and fulfilling without them in it. We want our men to commit because we want to know they feel the same way and the relationship is a strong one. If they wont or cant commit it is a sign to us that they don’t feel the same way and some women will move on. Some women will hang on in hopes that the person just needs more time to discover what they feel. Some women are content without a committment because that is what they need at that time. We are all human and we all have different needs at different times in our lives. Once committed, over time a persons needs may change and this is when the real test begins. If they still have those “base qualities” that a woman/man was looking for in the beginning, I think most couples can make it through the changes. Just an example… Suppose Kindness was one of those base qualities and suddenly that person turns into a prick all the time that is when committments are broken and Love just wont be enough. This is just my opinion but I am going on 20 years of marriage and while we have our ups and downs we both know that all those base qualities we both were looking for are what keeps us together through the worst of times. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![chads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2acd7d/32.png) [@chads](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/chads)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 3:41am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/26 "2007-04-04T03:41:03Z")
So is it simply a matter of spending time in a committed pair bond (becoming more “invested” as MM puts it) or are there other nuances at work? It is certainly possible that many men you know possess all the qualities you desire yet you probably don’t love them all. What makes a woman choose one man over the others or will any man with the proper qualities do as well as another? ---
**Author:** ![Oldman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b2d939/32.png) [@Oldman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Oldman)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 8:28am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/27 "2007-04-04T08:28:17Z")
> [@Nunya](#): > > well I’m a commitment of a pretty high order, but that’s because marriage to me means forever. > [@Nunya](#): > > so here’s my list: > > ~mentally stable > ~able to handle stress > ~capable of earning a good living, and supporting me and kids, while I’m nesting and such (this doesn’t mean he needs to support me forever or anything - just while I’m tied up with biological duties) > ~a solid idea of what family should be, and the loyalty it involves. > > this is on top of the basic requirements for me to be attracted enough to have someone as a boyfriend. i.e. - the personality stuff - intelligence, humor, level of affection, chemistry, etc. Nunya provided a very good response. In my experience with women (as an old guy), this is right on the money for the majority of women who actually think before getting into a marriage. The order in which it is reflected is exactly correct as well. As most people on this site know…men and women are hard wired differently…this list reflects that difference perfectly… I don’t have, nor do I want, experience with guys in this department, so I don’t know how most guys think…what some guys think (not all guys) and what they say to other guys to maintain their machismo may be different. As a young man I had _ **much** _ difficulty dealing with a testosterone overload; In my twenties I didn’t understand that my initial excitement relative to physical attraction and sex would eventually wear off and I would be left with someone that I either liked or did not like. I had to experience this before I understood it…which makes me a slow and stupid person…and it created a lot of personal problems for me. For most guys, interest in sex will not wear off; However, interest in sex _with the same woman **will** wear off_ if the guy is not in love and likes the woman’s personality and sense of humor. It is the same for women. However, (and I don’t mean this as an insult) I have found that money and power is an aphrodisiac for most women. A guy’s looks do help, but an average looking, clean, well groomed guy that has money and power becomes very good looking to most women. Staying well groomed, brushing your teeth, taking baths/shower’s on a regular and recurring basis, having some manners, chewing with your mouth closed and not appearing to be TOO hungry for sex is a good start in getting a date and developing a relationship. If you just want sex…well…there are women out there that want the same thing. However, most of them are not going to be as in your face about it as guys are..at least they didn’t use to be when I was younger…things may have changed. Another situation that has definitely changed since I was in my twenties/thirties, everyone in the market for a spouse or girl/boy friend has to consider whether they want to rot to death via an STD or live to a ripe old age with all their cognitive abilities and body parts intact to enjoy their grandkids…a sad reality of life these days…penicillin and tetracycline are no longer cure alls. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 1:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/28 "2007-04-04T13:28:08Z")
everything is a theory until lived-out. i thought _a whole lot of things_ prior to life making me live out those theories. i think you will have a better idea on **life after death** than to anyone elses answers here as they pertain to _you._ you have not attracted a life-mate that is the culmination of the ideas all _these_ women have of a life mate. face it, catlord, one would have to have a pretty major flakey side to choose you for life, and make little mini flakey-people with, and that is a good thing. if she wasnt flakey, you would not consider her,either. doesnt it give you relief that the “flake quality” narrows it down quite a bit?😉 jump if you feel like jumping. the only thing that diminishes emotional hurt is understanding human nature,and then nothing is _personal_. if it isnt personal, then you cant make a mistake. ---
**Author:** ![AKmedic](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/akmedic/32/1487_2.png) [@AKmedic](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/AKmedic)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/29 "2007-04-04T15:14:42Z")
> [@catlord17](#): > > Alright, so none of these answers surprise me. But none of them really answer my question, either. I will ask a different way. > > When a woman sees these qualities in a man, and she decides she wants to be committed to that man, why? Marriage is about sharing your life with someone who is your soul mate. Not only are your romantically involved, your lives become intertwined and interconnected. When I choose marriage, I will be forever committed to a man who will be strong enough to be an excellent life partner (see my list of qualities that are most compatible with me) and is faithful, kind, considerate, and loving. Marriage is very complicated, but for me personally it all boils down to two people sharing one life. If a man is hopelessly in love with me and I feel the same way, AND he’s committed to me, AND he believes in monogamy and marriage for life, then he’s a good candidate for marriage. Does that come closer to answering your question? ---
**Author:** ![Carrie](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/carrie/32/1537_2.png) [@Carrie](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Carrie)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 3:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/30 "2007-04-04T15:36:25Z")
I’m trying to understand what you’re looking for, Catlord. If you’re wondering why a particular man who meets all my criteria (there can be many such men, after all) becomes _the one_ I want to marry, there are a couple of factors. First, he has to “get” me, and I him. There has to be that ability to deeply understand each other, to a higher degree than normal in male-female relationships. Second, it has to make sense in terms of timing. He has to come along at marrying time. If it’s not marrying time, then everything else won’t make any difference. Unfortunately, when it **is** marrying time, women can relax their criteria a little too much for their own good (e.g., my first marriage …) ---
**Author:** ![Carrie](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/carrie/32/1537_2.png) [@Carrie](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Carrie)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 3:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/31 "2007-04-04T15:47:27Z")
I’ve had 2 posts in this thread disappear - didn’t know my views were that dangerous! ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 3:52pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/32 "2007-04-04T15:52:59Z")
> [@Carrie](#): > > I’ve had 2 posts in this thread disappear - didn’t know my views were that dangerous! maybe this is bigger than androtics,Carrie… maybe FBI ? CIA ? scary Xfiles intelligence? you know i have always like you,right? im on your side… [http://www.smilieshq.com/smilies/char1/character0089.gif](http://www.smilieshq.com/smilies/char1/character0089.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Carrie](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/carrie/32/1537_2.png) [@Carrie](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Carrie)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 4:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/33 "2007-04-04T16:11:59Z")
lol, thanks lor. trying for a third time: I’m trying to understand what you’re looking for here, catlord. If you’re wondering why a woman chooses one man over others who meet her criteria, there are a couple of factors I see: First, he has to “get” me, and I him. There has to be a deep understanding of each other - mentally, emotionally, spiritually - to a greater degree than is normal in male-female relationships. Second, he has to come along at marrying time. This is not the same as the biological clock, by the way. Unfortunately, if it IS marrying time, she may relax her criteria a bit too much (e.g., my first marriage …) ---
**Author:** ![Carrie](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/carrie/32/1537_2.png) [@Carrie](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Carrie)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 4:13pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/34 "2007-04-04T16:13:17Z")
lol, Lor. but it’s freaky. I just tried again, rewrote my post a bit, and it still got sent to never-never land. I must be using some word that’s triggering something, somewhere … ---
**Author:** ![Nunya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ac8455/32.png) [@Nunya](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Nunya)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 10:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/35 "2007-04-04T22:43:29Z")
> [@Oldman](#): > > Nunya provided a very good response. In my experience with women (as an old guy), this is right on the money for the majority of women who actually think before getting into a marriage. The order in which it is reflected is exactly correct as well. well thank you Oldman! sadly that was wisdom earned at a price. but sometimes you have to got through exactly what you don’t want to figure out what it is you need. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Mohammad\_Shah](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mohammad_shah/32/873_2.png) [@Mohammad\_Shah](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mohammad_Shah)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 1:53am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/36 "2007-04-05T01:53:58Z")
> [@Carrie](#): > > I’ve had 2 posts in this thread disappear - didn’t know my views were that dangerous! hmmm..didn’t know that the CIA is interested in this topic too!😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mohammad\_Shah](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mohammad_shah/32/873_2.png) [@Mohammad\_Shah](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mohammad_Shah)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 1:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/37 "2007-04-05T01:56:32Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > maybe this is bigger than Androtics,Carrie… > > maybe FBI ? > CIA ? > > scary Xfiles intelligence? > > you know i have always like you,right? > im on your side… > > [http://www.smilieshq.com/smilies/char1/character0089.gif](http://www.smilieshq.com/smilies/char1/character0089.gif) …you sure watch too much TV!!😛 😃 ---
**Author:** ![thebearsden](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thebearsden/32/1925_2.png) [@thebearsden](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thebearsden)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 9:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/38 "2007-04-09T21:03:13Z")
That is a heck of a question with a whole lot of different answers lol. 😉 Personally, I dearly love to laugh so a sense of Humor is crucial, expecially because I am def quirky. I need (NEED) the chemistry aspect as I have a tendency to get bored easliy when it comes to ‘hands on’ activities, and I need someone who is as loyal to me as I’d be for them. Those are just the things I am attracted to, however in my opinion you need to be traveling the same road with enough simularities that you can build a life together that you will both fit in and enough differences that you are both interested. I agree on the timing aspect, you have to really know who you are before you can expect someone else to. That comes with what point you are in your life. I am currently considering the fine art of marriage, which scares the ‘poo’ out of me, but at the same time it is a beginning I want with the person I am with. I have made the agreement to myself that I am doing this one time around, and am commited to who I marry, faults and fine points just the same, the project is to find the same thought and value in some one else. I was told that if you can identify the faults and love someone just the same, then you know you are in ‘it’. ---
**Author:** ![fullmoonnow](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/fullmoonnow/32/1821_2.png) [@fullmoonnow](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/fullmoonnow)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 10:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/39 "2007-04-09T22:59:40Z")
i have given up on looking for a longterm mate. men are unreliable. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![SteveO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@SteveO](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SteveO)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 11:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/40 "2007-04-09T23:58:01Z")
> [@fullmoonnow83](#): > > i have given up on looking for a longterm mate. men are unreliable. ☹ You just haven’t met me yet. No cutting in line though 😉 [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696.md?page=1) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696.md?page=3)