# Women, why do you choose a man for marriage?

**URL:** <https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696>\
**Category:** Lounge\
**Created:** [March 24, 2007, 1:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696 "2007-03-24T01:03:01Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 18

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**Author:** ![Nunya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ac8455/32.png) [@Nunya](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Nunya)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2007, 9:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/women-why-do-you-choose-a-man-for-marriage/2696/18 "2007-03-30T21:40:50Z")

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> [@catlord17](#):
>
> You’re comparing apples and coconuts. When I see a woman who is “hot” and I want to shag her, it’s because my lizard brain says “Release the hounds!” It doesn’t have any indication of any sort of relationship, commitment, desire to have children around me or take care of them, or wake up next to this woman every morning. It is, quite simply, a desire to use her body to cause my body to ejaculate.
> 
> Crude? Yes. True? Yes. This is not to say, however, I act on this “Nice ass, shag her” urge, because I don’t. For me to be sexually involved with a woman, and not suffer emotional damage as a result, I cannot just bend over any woman I have offering me woman wet and share body fluids. I must have an emotional connection of some sort. Otherwise, self respect drops, self esteem drops, self confidence drops, and I get depressed.

well now - this is sort of what i’m getting at. men and women have different biological imperatives. to a man it’s about spreading seed, to a woman it’s about finding a worthy mate. which only makes sense, because being a mother leaves you soemwhat vulnerable, because now you not only have to watch your back, you have to watch the backs of your children too (i’m speaking in a very primitive way - not 21st century, we can bring home the bacon, and fry it in a pan) So biologically speakign you need the help-mate that can help you hold down the forth and ensure the survival of your young. So from that perspective women are wired to be selective in a mate, and to look for commitment, and a suitable spouse.

Much like your wired to like boobies or whatever.

> [@](#):
>
> I want to understand why women choose a man for a long term commitment, especially one involving children. What makes the qualities that trigger this response, trigger this response? What is she looking for? Does she respond this way to an Alpha, or a Beta, or something in between, or something else altogether? Does it have to do with love, or is it a practical decision?

I think the women that have responded to these questions pretty adequately. we’ve all given you our lists. I don’t know about the alpha beta thing at all. I’m sure that factors into the equation on some level, but i think it varies with each woman.

One woman might want a full on alpha, another might prefer a beta. i think there’s no blanket answer that will cover it all.

I think making the decision is both based in love and pragmatism. or rather it should be. Love is great and all, but if he can’t handle his own life, is he going to be the best mate?

> [@](#):
>
> Is she acting on genetics alone, or does it say something about him otherwise?

this question i don’t understand.

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