# Work question

**URL:** <https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821>\
**Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\
**Created:** [April 12, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821 "2011-04-12T02:20:27Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![bestintel](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bestintel/32/1883_2.png) [@bestintel](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bestintel)\
**Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/1 "2011-04-12T02:20:27Z")

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I applied for a job on Saturday, got an email Sunday, and a phone interview with the DM on Today and he wants to meet me on Thursday. They told me that they would want me 2 weeks in by Friday and I would go into six weeks of training program. I think they are moving a tad too fast. I haven’t even been offered the job yet.

The job offers me double the money, but my wife says we are going to be moving next year. I really do not want to work at a job for a year and then have to quit again, I think it is better to stick it out at my job for another year.

What do you all think? Should I stay at my job or go on to a new one?

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**Author:** ![M\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@M\_M](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/M_M)\
**Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 3:11am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/2 "2011-04-12T03:11:06Z")

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Do what makes you HAPPIEST, Smelly! 😉

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**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\
**Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 12:24pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/3 "2011-04-12T12:24:23Z")

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> [@smellymen2002](#):
>
> I applied for a job on Saturday, got an email Sunday, and a phone interview with the DM on Today and he wants to meet me on Thursday. They told me that they would want me 2 weeks in by Friday and I would go into six weeks of training program. I think they are moving a tad too fast. I haven’t even been offered the job yet.
> 
> The job offers me double the money, but my wife says we are going to be moving next year. I really do not want to work at a job for a year and then have to quit again, I think it is better to stick it out at my job for another year.
> 
> What do you all think? Should I stay at my job or go on to a new one?

Are there opportunities within the company if you do move?

Double the money in a year is double the money so that always helps out. Would your career be better if you stayed with your current company, how happy are you at this place right now?

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**Author:** ![coconuts15](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@coconuts15](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/coconuts15)\
**Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/4 "2011-04-12T22:16:19Z")

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Success isn’t happiness, happiness is success. Do whichever you like better. If you are content with what you currently make and you like it there, continue. If not, take this other job.

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**Author:** ![bestintel](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bestintel/32/1883_2.png) [@bestintel](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bestintel)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 2:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/5 "2011-04-13T02:48:08Z")

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> [@P51Mustang](#):
>
> Are there opportunities within the company if you do move?
> 
> Double the money in a year is double the money so that always helps out. Would your career be better if you stayed with your current company, how happy are you at this place right now?

I’m not happy at the place I’m now there is no opportunity for growth. My wife wants to move in a year and I think resume wise it is better to stay with my current company. That is what I’m asking, i really do not see the point of changing companies if we will be moving in a year.

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**Author:** ![Gotchaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@Gotchaz](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gotchaz)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/6 "2011-04-13T04:15:10Z")

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Wives change their minds all the time, if it pays more and you don’t like your current job then why not go for it? One thing I would weigh up especially in the US is job security. Make sure you get something in writing before you accept the new job and not just a phone call.

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**Author:** ![The\_Hammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/90db22/32.png) [@The\_Hammer](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/The_Hammer)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 6:32am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/7 "2011-04-13T06:32:31Z")

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How attached are you to the wife?

Kidding aside, how far away does she want to move? What is her motivation for moving? Is it that she wants a change of pace, to be closer to relatives, or move to a lower crime area? I think it is hard to answer this question without knowing her motivation behind her desire. If there is the possibility that more money will delay for a few years or even end that desire, I say go for it.

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**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 9:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/8 "2011-04-13T09:37:46Z")

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> [@smellymen2002](#):
>
> I applied for a job on Saturday, got an email Sunday, and a phone interview with the DM on Today and he wants to meet me on Thursday. They told me that they would want me 2 weeks in by Friday and I would go into six weeks of training program. I think they are moving a tad too fast. I haven’t even been offered the job yet.
> 
> The job offers me double the money, but my wife says we are going to be moving next year. I really do not want to work at a job for a year and then have to quit again, I think it is better to stick it out at my job for another year.
> 
> What do you all think? Should I stay at my job or go on to a new one?

Do you have to quit your job to go to the meeting on Thursday ? If not then go to the meeting and then decide.

Ultimately do what makes you happiest but just be sure its not fear that holding you back. Never make a decision on what may or may not occur next year. What if you dont end up moving ? Then its a opportunity you missed. Make your decision on how interesting and enjoyable you may find this new job not on whether you will be here next year or not. Its like like not watering your garden because it may rain a lot next month. It ceases to grow.

Tisha

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**Author:** ![bestintel](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bestintel/32/1883_2.png) [@bestintel](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bestintel)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 12:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/9 "2011-04-13T12:46:05Z")

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> [@The\_Hammer](#):
>
> How attached are you to the wife?
> 
> Kidding aside, how far away does she want to move? What is her motivation for moving? Is it that she wants a change of pace, to be closer to relatives, or move to a lower crime area? I think it is hard to answer this question without knowing her motivation behind her desire. If there is the possibility that more money will delay for a few years or even end that desire, I say go for it.

Her parents are moving and they want us to come with them.

> [@tisha23](#):
>
> Do you have to quit your job to go to the meeting on Thursday ? If not then go to the meeting and then decide.
> 
> Ultimately do what makes you happiest but just be sure its not fear that holding you back. Never make a decision on what may or may not occur next year. What if you dont end up moving ? Then its a opportunity you missed. Make your decision on how interesting and enjoyable you may find this new job not on whether you will be here next year or not. Its like like not watering your garden because it may rain a lot next month. It ceases to grow.
> 
> Tisha

Well if they offer me the job on Thursday they want me to put in my two weeks on Friday. Then I go to train some where for six weeks and come back for grand opening.

I’m comfortable at my job right now, but I really don’t like the company I work for my, boss is great. I think I’m afraid of failing at this job to a certain extent.

I wanted to be an assistant manager for a department and they offered me manager. I really want to tell them I’m interested in being an assistant because that is what I applied for.

I think it would be better to start out as an assistant manager for a new company and then once I know how it operates have the opportunity in the future to be a manager. at a different location.

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**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 1:13pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/10 "2011-04-13T13:13:45Z")

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> [@smellymen2002](#):
>
> Her parents are moving and they want us to come with them.
> 
> Well if they offer me the job on Thursday they want me to put in my two weeks on Friday. Then I go to train some where for six weeks and come back for grand opening.
> 
> I’m comfortable at my job right now, but I really don’t like the company I work for my, boss is great. I think I’m afraid of failing at this job to a certain extent.
> 
> I wanted to be an assistant manager for a department and they offered me manager. I really want to tell them I’m interested in being an assistant because that is what I applied for.
> 
> I think it would be better to start out as an assistant manager for a new company and then once I know how it operates have the opportunity in the future to be a manager. at a different location.

We’re all afraid to fail.

Careers will change, people will fail, and things may not work out, but you don’t seem like the type that will fail at it. You know how to be motivated and get things done, moreover getting that promotion is a good step in the right direction. I don’t know too much about what you do but I do know a thing or two about opening up new locations. They are probably going to send you away for 6 weeks to learn that job, to get acquainted with policies and procedures and to learn the position. Your resume will be a little bit better because you went up as a promotion at a different company. Also when you apply for a job elsewhere, if you do decide to move, when your rate for negotiating your salary is in a much better position because of that fact. Yes no one likes to see a resume of 9 companies in the last 3 years, but you’ve been with one company, then moved up, then doubled your pay, that speaks volumes about the value that you bring to the table and companies will like that. Ultimately it is your choice, but you really have nothing to lose by taking better pay and a higher position.

The whole moving thing, I can understand where you’re coming from, but remember that priorities are with you and your wife right now, if you don’t know where you’ll be working or the career opportunities, then following her parents (unless you’re living with them rent free and they’re going to eventually give you their house) is something that you seriously have to consider.

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**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 1:23pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/11 "2011-04-13T13:23:10Z")

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why does your wife say you have to move…and do you have any say in that?

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**Author:** ![bestintel](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bestintel/32/1883_2.png) [@bestintel](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bestintel)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 1:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/12 "2011-04-13T13:27:00Z")

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> [@RADMAN513](#):
>
> why does your wife say you have to move…and do you have any say in that?

My wife and I are really close to her parents we visit them every week. They want to move because they adopted my sister in law’s kid a few years back and they want him to be close to his family. My wife says that she does not know if she can be happy if her parents leave and I make her stay due to my family being here.

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**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 1:39pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/13 "2011-04-13T13:39:04Z")

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> [@smellymen2002](#):
>
> My wife and I are really close to her parents we visit them every week. They want to move because they adopted my sister in law’s kid a few years back and they want him to be close to his family. My wife says that she does not know if she can be happy if her parents leave and I make her stay due to my family being here.

Can you be genuinely happy?

And forget whatever reason it is, whether you believe it’ll be better there, it’ll make her happy, but will YOU be happy.

Do it for the right reasons, you don’t want a small resentment to turn into a deep seeded issue, whatever those reasons may be.

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**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/14 "2011-04-13T14:09:07Z")

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If it’s that big of an issue for the extended clan to be separated wouldn’t it be cheaper to move the ONE family to be near the child instead of moving two households to be near one?

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**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 8:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/15 "2011-04-13T20:27:05Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Her parents are moving and they want us to come with them.

You didnt marry her parents, correct ? Are you sure her mother wont be the unhappy one ?

> [@](#):
>
> My wife and I are really close to her parents we visit them every week. They want to move because they adopted my sister in law’s kid a few years back and they want him to be close to his family. My wife says that she does not know if she can be happy if her parents leave and I make her stay due to my family being here.

I find this statement more serious then deciding which job to take. If **your** happy moving away and its what you want to do as well then thats great, go for it. However if your just doing it because she says she cant be happy without her family then you both need to sit down and discuss your priorities and what it means to be married.

I am extremely close to my family as well but the well being of my relationship and my husband took priority the day my father gave me away at the wedding. I knew that, my husband knew that and so did my parents. Its what the whole “giving the bride away” represents.

My guess is she is just scared of being away from them especially if they have always been close by. That’s normal. This is just a suggestion but maybe you both should think about letting her parents move and waiting to follow if thats financially possible for you. Dont say we will never move but just say lets try staying and see how it go’s unless of course you want to move as well.

Sometimes a baby bird needs to be pushed out of the nest to learn to fly. But one way or another they have to leave that nest.

On the job front… I think your letting your fears dictate what you can and cant do, just like your wife. If you can assist in managing you can manage. They are not sending you in blindly, you will have training. Whether you move or not this is a excellent opportunity so if you do decide to move you can obtain a better higher paying job when you get there.

Remember fear is a emotion we create with thoughts in a attempt to protect ourselves from the unknown. The problem is we as humans have learned to use those fears to guide our lives instead of just protect us from real danger. We all do it. You can let fear dictate your life and never move forward and grow or you can see it for what it is… just thoughts that you can change whenever you want.

Doing that is as easy as acknowledging the fearful thought, for example \>\>\>\>\>\>

_I cant manage a store, what the hell am I thinking, I never did it before, what if I fail…_

When you hear that voice in your head its not the voice of god (even though it thinks it is at times LOL) its the voice of fear. Say it to yourself. “Its just fear”. It will pop up in your thoughts now and again and just say “whoops there is that pesky fear again” Its not telling you the truth because the truth is you can learn to do just about anything. There is nothing to fear, your life is not in immediate danger. That fear is just a thought.

As long as you can learn and from what I can tell from seeing you here in the forum you can , then you can be the manager. You dont have to know everything before you start you just need to know you can learn.

Tisha

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**Author:** ![bestintel](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bestintel/32/1883_2.png) [@bestintel](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bestintel)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 3:34am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/16 "2011-04-14T03:34:46Z")

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Thanks for all you help guys and gals of course. I do let my fear get the best of me. I think I’m going to go for it and say to hell with my fear. I really like that I will be just managing one department instead of an entire store. This department happens to be a place where i have six years of experience in so I’m not sure what I was worried about.

I honestly can say I’m afraid to fail, I just can’t help the feeling about giving something my all and coming up short.

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**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 1:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/17 "2011-04-14T13:46:30Z")

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> [@smellymen2002](#):
>
> Thanks for all you help guys and gals of course. I do let my fear get the best of me. I think I’m going to go for it and say to hell with my fear. I really like that I will be just managing one department instead of an entire store. This department happens to be a place where i have six years of experience in so I’m not sure what I was worried about.
> 
> I honestly can say I’m afraid to fail, I just can’t help the feel about giving something my all and coming up short.

You will do great bro. Good luck I know the interview is today, I hope things turn out well for you.

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**Author:** ![bestintel](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bestintel/32/1883_2.png) [@bestintel](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bestintel)\
**Post date:** [April 15, 2011, 2:11am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/18 "2011-04-15T02:11:49Z")

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Well here is how it went

I went in there and was 15 min early I heard the interviewer talking on the phone about me and saying I did not have much experience which made me mad at first. He said I bet he does not know what crisping is.

I was thinking I have 6 years of experience in produce and 2 years of management experience managing 30- 40 people. The more I thought about it the more it made me driven.

I walked into the interview and his first question was “what is crisping” After about a ten minute explanation on how to crisp basically everything in the produce department, he gave me this shocked look and he knew he was wrong about me.

I was told they would be calling me some time today or tomorrow. I told them and the end of interview if they thought I was not qualified to be a produce manager, to give me a shot at the assistant level so I can prove myself. I think this was a good thing because it shows I want to work for this company and it shows initiative.

I have to say this has been one of the easiest interviews I have been on. I spoke slowly and was clear and confident about my answers. The [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/) and the IS helped on both ends of the interview. The guy was smiling and joking with me by them time the interview was over.

Well I think the mix worked great.. Thanks Stang for the suggestion.

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**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\
**Post date:** [April 15, 2011, 7:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/19 "2011-04-15T07:06:51Z")

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Yayyyyy !!!

Sounds like it went great. Either way you can be proud of yourself because you went in there and did it. I know the [pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/) helped but give yourself some credit as well. 😃

Tisha

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**Author:** ![bestintel](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bestintel/32/1883_2.png) [@bestintel](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bestintel)\
**Post date:** [April 15, 2011, 1:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821/20 "2011-04-15T13:43:57Z")

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Well… I got the job pending a background check. Thanks for everyone advice.🙂

[Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/work-question/49821.md?page=2)
