I recently ordered two different products but as soon as it arrived, I realized there was a third item. Instant Shine. The order receipt says “Taylor, you rock. Enjoy your free gift. Signed Ben.” Well, first I want to know who Ben is. Second, I want to say thank you Ben. Third, these products are great, and smell really good 
Good to hear we made you smile.
To answer your questions:
Well, first I want to know who Ben is?
Ben is a genetically engineered lab test of what the ultimate male Alpha would be if we fused together all the most popular molecules with human flesh. At first he was born naked, helpless and unable to walk, but he quickly turned his life around and became the man we all know and love today.
The Nobel committee is currently deciding how they can make a new prize to honor his humanitarian side and accomplishments in science, education, exploration and amazing ability to make others smile. A ball of energy and glowing positive light that serves as a beacon of hope for all humanity. The best they could come up with is renaming the entire award in all categories to The Ben Prize instead of Nobel Prize. You’ll see this roll out sometime in 2011.
Currently Ben works in our Lab as the all-around, make everyone smile, go to guy.
Second, I want to say thank you Ben:
Go ahead then and say it. Just take a deep breath and let it out. That’s right, let it all out and you’ll feel so much better.
**
Third, these products are great, and smell really good:
Again you have Ben to thank.** We take his sweat and pee and use it to make the mones. It’s a win-win situation for everyone.
Steve whats this 
stop this go & read my journal.
tell me whta do next. 
u would ne???
LMAO! After a response like that if you want to continue to stay here and learn more i’d consider you crazy.
i want to biggy butt.
what is LMAO??? pls elaborate
All right, its official, the world has gone crazy! Thanks for the smile
Ben you rock!!!
I have an uncle ben… all he does is sleep maybe it’s him with a secret identity! 
O
Does he make rice?
I would bet Ben is a real person based on the style of writting how it is the same style each time with the slightest bit of variation. Also you can see how the pen warped the paper as they began to write on it, I was also able to recover finger prints and 5 different sameples of DNA. I will report back as soon as my cloning machine makes it from china and I have successfuly started a ben clone.
thanks ben
Nice. I will pm you my address so I can get my own ben do what I want and please person.
Whoever said Ben wasn’t a real person? He absolutely is. He’s been genetically engineered to be the PERFECT person. The Russians gave us the idea and loaned us some DNA from Ivan Drago.
After that we solicited and surprisingly received DNA samples from some of the most amazing people throughout history. Please do not ask how we might have come across DNA from Davinci or other greats. That information is secret, but I can tell you we worked world class scientists that were displaced when some type of accident occurred at their last employ. Something about dino DNA and I don’t know, an island that lost power.
One thing I can also inform you is that we successfully incorporated a DNA sequence that auto-destructs if any type of cloning is attempted. Basically all the bad genes revert to the forefront and instead of Ben you get a clone of Danny Devito. Remember the movie Twins. Yeah that’s what happens. Don’t be trying to clone our Ben or you’ll get something bad, very bad!
I think the movie Multiplicity taught us what happens when you make a copy of a copy.
Anyway I know Ben appreciates the compliments (?) and does what he can to make you guys happy.
I’ll have you know sir that danny devito is a very talented acto… ok you’re right I’ll back down now before he attempts another movie. 
WOW! I’d like to meet Ben! I bet he scores touchdowns without even trying. Is there a picture of him? Please post!
There are rumors going around the office that Ben once scored four touchdowns in a single game.
Danny is actually awesome in It’s always sunny in Philadelphia! And he should be since it was Ben who gave him acting lessons
Hmmm I thought that was four cheerleaders in a single game 
Ben slept with every female in my family.