I have been away for a while, busy taking care of family and working on my business. This story that I have to share begins on Valentine’s Day, 2010.
I was hanging out with my friend D, and we were just drinking beer, watching Adult Swim, and chilling. It was 3 am when I got out, and on the way home I decided on a whim to see if my redheaded ex still lived in the same place she did when we split up 5 years ago. To my surprise, she did. Obviously, I didn’t stop, just drove by slowly to get the address and I was planning to send her a letter saying hello.
On the way home, it crossed my mind that I had a rather unique opportunity here. It was Valentine’s Day, just three hours in… now normally I do not celebrate or partake in VDay at all for various reasons (not the least of which is my masculine pride), but given that she and I split up on bad terms and I thought maybe we could be friends now, I thought I would do something that would shock her into responding. So instead of driving home, I went and bought two bouquets, one of roses and one of daisies, because I know she likes daisies and I know roses are expected, and for this to work, I couldn’t have bases uncovered.
Mind you, I have given flowers to a woman only a few times before, ever. I just don’t do it unless it’s genuinely heartfelt. That way it always means something.
Anyway, I left these two bouquets on her car and a note that said I would like to talk with her. I knew that it would take a day for her to consult her friends to decide what to do, and then she would call me… boy do I know her. She did exactly that.
So I was thinking friends, and she was obviously thinking flowers = romance, because when we got together that afternoon, she’s talking about “tonight’s date”. Wha? Okay, I’ll play along.
It quickly became apparent, from what she did and said that she was aiming her guns at me. You know… the marriage guns? Yikes.
Anyway, enough back story. Tonight was her birthday and she asked me to accompany her to the Olive Garden for dinner. I needed a break, so it being her birthday, I agreed. I asked the calculator what would be the best thing to wear, and one particular answer caught my eye. It said that if I wore 3 sprays of PS, I’d get laid like a rock star.
Now I was having a hard time believing this, because, well, I don’t know… but more out of curiosity than wanting sex, or sex with her, I put on three sprays after my shower and went out.
It didn’t take long to start seeing that once again, my calculator was right. I think the tables around us must have heard many things this evening that they might not have wanted to hear… lol and then afterward she started becoming very lovey-dovey and calling me baby and sweetie like she always used to, and then she asked me where we could go to f*ck.
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Well… let’s just say she was insatiable, and even after Round 1, she was raring to go. Unfortunately, we had run out of time and privacy, so there was no more but HOLY SH*T, I had forgotten how accurate my calculator is and how powerful PS is. Three sprays, just like I designed it for. She was horny and asking for more all the way home. And telling me I did everything right, and she was frustrated that she was still horny. lol
Wow. Gotta start taking that stuff more seriously, or she’s gonna be proposing to me next.
Just thought you might enjoy the story.
And yes, I am still planning to try to get a batch of PS for me to sell made… just not sure where the funding is coming from atm.