a) Age 40 b) Sex Male c) General location United States
d) Most importantly, tell us a bit about yourself, your personality, why you’re here, and what you hope pheromones will do for you.
I’ve been seeing a wonderful girl in her early 30s who by all accounts thinks I’m amazing, but is preoccupied with early career stress and occassionaly says “I don’t want to sleep with you and treat you like a one night stand” …I know that this can be BS, but I get a different vibe from her and obviously I’m thinking big picture with her or I’d get back in the game where I find success in just getting laid (note also that she’s younger… I don’t want A314 to get older women who already jump on me and I fear that too much -none would make her more anxious). But it has been 4 months and I haven’t gone that long without in any relationship. There are some things in her life that explain her state of mind (beyond the career focus, she says she hasn’t masturbated for ages because of stress [despite usually having a high drive], and she had minor surgery just as we met), but we get “all but there” cozy frequently and I do get the sense that we have a future. But if it doesn’t take on an open sex play sense soon, I don’t know what to do with that future. So I hope it doesn’t seem like I’d be pushing her, but I’m guessing that the right combination of pheromones may put her at ease and arouse her at the same time. She is generally at ease around me and I have tried Ammunition, Instant Shine, and a little Turn Up The Heat. She really liked Ammunition as a scent and she’s generally scent sensitive. There’s no doubt she likes me in any case. I’m just wondering if I can get advice on reintroducing her to her high sex drive via scents… ?
Yes, its often a certain woman that brings us here and yes, pheros can be a great help. However, you may find that there are aspects of your behaviour and attitudes towards her that you need to change as well. Pheros are only part of the story.
First thing to me is that it sounds like you are a bit overly awestruck with this woman and you need to get her to appreciate your value a bit more.
I would keep the possibility she is bullshitting you at the back of your mind - It may be she likes your attention FTM but is really holding out for someone else and will ditch you without a second thought when he appears. This kind of woman can be very convincing I’m afraid - especially when you hear the “all but there,” “career focus” and “despite usually having a high drive.” All of these ring big alarm bells as I’ve heard and seen them used on myself and other people over the years and the situation has ended badly for the guys concerned almost every time.
If she’s into her 30s, none should not be too much of a problem and it sounds like you have a good basic mix of Ammo/IS. You should maybe consider adding the status/fallout properties of a little A314 (which is about status, not older women if you use it properly), or the smooth/status vibe of IG?
IH is also useful for increasing bonding/closeness - Especially if you are getting physically close already.
Another one I’ve used with success in this situation is a combination of MX297/390 (same mix different scents, think 390 is same scent as Ammo) with a bit of none - Most often TUTH or even raw none, added once the social/attrictive properties of the 297/390 hit home and when physical closeness is well established. This can often produce a massive rush of sexual attraction.
I agree with mobocaster. But hey, I’ve said it before and I’ll probably die saying it: I don’t get the games girls play, here!!! Nor do I get the responses or games guys play, here!!! Or the crap that I’ve seen both genders put up with from their targets, gf’s, SO’s or spouses.
To me, it sounds like a whole lot of bullshit. To my way of thinking, if she allegedly has a “usually high sex drive” and isn’t taking advantage of the offer; she’s not really interested and doesn’t want to spook you with the “just friends” thing. IMO Please re-read the pink text. I’m not in a relationship - and due to the pink reasons - not looking to walk in that messy quicksand.
Beyond that, the op indicates enough closeness/intimacy that could, with a change of attitude and a healthy dose of mones could result in her having sex with him but…?
If the op has any idea about any common traits in the sort of guys she has been with before, that may be a guide to what turns her on and for choosing pheros an behaviours to approximate their personality types. Don’t get mired in deep discussions about her exs though - that is a near certain attraction killer and this route can also leave you at risk of becoming a fake to yourself, which can be bad in the long term.
Thanks for the advice thus far… I’ll try the last mix mentioned as it really is about heating things up without spooking her as we’re truly all but there (we’ve even been completely naked, slept over, etc. …just no form of real sex whether oral, intercourse, etc.).
UPDATE: We talked about it directly tonight on the phone and we’re now going to take it to the next level. It is akward to come to it this way though, so I’m still going to use the new mix of mones if I can get them quick enough or just use what I have. Of course, planning it doesn’t mean things are going to shift her whole life (which really is intense right now), so I hope I can ultimately find a mix of mones that serves her well (gets her into a space where we can have that aspect of loving, she can get a flood of dopamine that should help with the stress, and she can experience general good moods with the mones too).
Thanks for your continued advice and I’ll let you know what I discover.
If you are going the 297/390 plus none route, remember that you will need to be working it. This is a a very charasmatic mix, so don’t just put it on and go to her to sit and talk/cuddle demurely - Go out, drink, dance, have fun, assert yourself, initiate kino and only then hit her with the none when things are escallating as you want.
This still gives me quite a bit of concern - She is obviously already quite comfortable with you on a physical and emotional level but IME, women do not normally negotiate their sexual attraction like this.
In fact this and the time you spent getting here does smack of her stringing you along to me. However, now you have got this far and you are going-in with mones, I would strongly suggest keeping very clear headed about her and consider her next actions carefully - especially if she now finds all sorts of reasons for making it “next time,” “soon,” or lets other situations/people get in the way. If this happens, be ready to protect yourself emotionally and step back from her or keep her as a no-strings/expectations shag until she demonstrates and maintains a real comittment to you.
After all, if she is stressed, there is little better natural stress relief than good sex and I bet both of you know that!
You already got some great advise but your situation is very complicated and I encourage you to continue to seek advise in the men section and let them guide you along the way.
Though it is true that a lot of women do use that technique to bullshit and make it hard for those women who genuinely hold out and don’t just roll over for anything and although may seems strange are very shy when it comes to sex.
I suggest you listen to what the men say but if you want a meaningful relationship with this girl give her the benefit of the doubt and work on making her feel loved and comfortable with you.
