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Greetings PheroTalk regulars and visitors.

I chanced upon this forum a few years ago and got interested in this topic. But then life got so busy which left me with no time for anything (including proper sleep). I’m slowly getting back to my old self and recently chanced on this forum again and decided to create a user profile.

I’m a single parent with a small child living with me full-time. I live in the Northwest Continental United States. Occasionally about three to four nights a month, my toddler stays overnight at the mother’s place. We split up a few years ago. I spent a lot of time raising my baby, and working full-time at the same time. I got occasional help from family and friends but it took a toll on my body - sleeping 4-5 hours a night, getting a small kid fed and dressed, cooking meals, then working at my thought-intensive job. I work in the computer industry.

I tried seeing someone while I was raising my small child, but that did not work out well because I needed a lot of time for myself - I’d be exhausted at the end of the day and didn’t have a lot of time to spend with her. She’d occasionally come over to my place but when she was there, I felt like I had to take care of the needs of two people, and oftentimes, I preferred to be alone so I can get some rest or sleep and get other things done. I never really let her get too close to me, and it wasn’t probably fair to her either when she expected more. I just didn’t have enough time and energy in my life at that time and that episode ended up with another headache, her getting upset at me for no good reason (in my opinion) because I made it clear in the beginning itself that I won’t be able to give her the kind of relationship she’d get from a guy with less responsibilities and more spare time.

Now my child is almost kindergarten age and much more independent and does not need constant attention. I can get things done and I have a lot more time, and get more sleep these days. I am now in the wrong half of my thirties. I’ve looked better - now I’m probably a 5-6 out of 10. I’m okay in the height department - 5’10 but I could lose a few pounds. I weigh around 185. I look like I’m in my early to mid forties but am in my mid thirties.

When my child is away, I go out with my friends about once a month - I do other things on my other “free” days. But I’ve been in the parent mode for so long (or it seems too long because it was just me every day for quite a while), I can’t really seem to get in the mode to talk to women. I don’t really know what to say and struggle with finding an opening.

I’m naturally not quick-witted; actually somewhat slow with witty remarks even though I have a pretty good sense of humor. I am pretty bright (if I may say so) when it comes to things in general. I haven’t had any “action” in quite a while, so I wanted to see if I can play around for a bit. The hurdle is that I freeze up occasionally when I talk to complete strangers. I think too much like a parent (has my kid eaten dinner/brushed teeth/slept yet and so on). But once I start talking, I am fine with chit-chat, but I don’t really know how to bring up the “relevant” topic. I’m normally very direct, but I can’t really say “do you want to go get busy” either. I could be somewhat of a nerd on occasion, but not too much - usually people don’t know I’m one until I talk about some scientific stuff. I’m not the alpha-type although I don’t let people push me around. I’m more quiet and don’t talk too much among people I don’t know very well.

The interesting thing is that when I was in my twenties, all I wanted to do was find one person and have a family. But now I have my “family” although not the way I imagined it, and my kid loves me and I love my kid. Having become accustomed to doing things my way, I don’t really see the need (at least right now) to have another adult living with me, and potentially ordering me around, telling me how to do things that I already do a certain way, nagging me or even worse getting upset at my kid when I need some peace of mind. Having been burned a couple of times and one time pretty badly, I can’t seem to find a reason to get into a long term relationship anymore. Don’t get me wrong - I am very affectionate, caring and kind once I get close to someone and I would do the same to anyone who gets close to me, even if it is for a few months.

At work, I am increasingly having to do leadership-kind of things where I have to get people to do what I say. Usually people do what I ask because I’m reasonable and nice to everyone but these days I’m having to make choices which other people may not agree with. I am kind and nice to everyone but some people try to take advantage of that and think I’m a pushover, which I don’t let them do, but it ticks me off (sometimes a lot) and wastes my time. I’m very confident and sure about the fact that my option is the right way to go, and always can hold my end up quite well - I can explain with solid facts why it is the better way. But I want a little bit of edge in getting others to agree quickly without me having to go through these time-consuming explanations and a-hols trying to push me and see if I’m weak, thereby wasting my time.

So the two things that I was hoping to get a bit of an edge was the above thing at work, and also in getting an opening with the ladies on my occasional night or day out, at the same time them not wanting to spend the rest of their lives with me. But I don’t have the luxury to hone my skills with the ladies a lot because I only get to go out once a month or so (if that). So each visit to the bar/club is like starting from square one.

BUT I also want to avoid changing my pheromone signature with kids. My kid obeys almost instantaneously when I ask something (even though part of it may be because of the long hours I put in during the early years, training patiently). I notice that other kids also tend to stop crying when I say something. If they’re doing something bad, one look from me is all it takes for them to stop causing trouble and calm down. They also smile at me and laugh easily when I try to say something kid-friendly, so I think I may have a strong “dad” vibe. I need to keep my kid and friends under control and at the same time possibly get an opening with one of the moms at the playground :wink:

What can the good folks (experts) here suggest to give me an edge in these areas?

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Hi There

Welcome to pherotalk.

First around your child I would go slow with introducing mones. Kids bond with there parents pheromonally and they will notice a change. If you act the same with them though they adjust pretty quickly. Kids tend to shy away from the heavy masculines and respond well to the socials. Anone makes them nervous but more so when worn by someone they are not close to or strangers. Your child knows you so that takes the fear out of it but I dont suggest wearing anone products around his/her friends when they come over.

For work I would go with A314. A314 is very masculine but you can wear it around the kids. Very little anone in it. This will give you the respected trusted alpha vibe. The leader. If you cant afford the oil they have it in spray or you can just go with Ishine to create a warm charismatic vibe.

Now for nights when you going out I have two suggestions for your primary mix depending on your situation. You can hear me out and choose what best fits your needs.

TUTH is highly masculine and aggressive. If your child is over your moms and wont be exposed to it, it would be a good choice to create arousal and attention. Although we cant contro if a women is going to want a long term relationship with you this one attracts more one night stands or heats up the sexual part of a long standing relationship.

AMMO could be another way to go. This has anone but its more buffered and balanced. This causes mild arousal, attraction, attention and interest. You may get more interest from those looking for the long term with this one. Your child could adjust to this one more because of the buffering to.

On top of that you want some socials to create pull. I suggest either IO or Ishine. These you can use when out with your child shopping, at the park or whatever to create more connections. You may not be looking for long term but the more connections you make the more possibilities you have.

Keep in mind they have small to-go bottles so you can try them out before making a big investment.

If you have questions just ask. See you in the forum

Tisha

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Hello and welcome to the forum.

Tisha is one of the old masters here and really know what she is talking about.

A314 and IH is one of my favortie work combinations. A314 will give you I am The Man vibe. It can certainly help at work as you move deeper into leadership positions. It can however sometimes come across a little strong. The IH will help offset this by helping people feel connected to you. And they will talk to you about things they feel are important.

Ammo and A314 ia another great combination for after hours, especially if you decide to meet women. It will mark you as a man they want to meet.

I have TUTH but do not recommend using it by itself. I really use it to amp up other mixes as needed.

Like Tisha said I would go slow with any none heavy mixes around your daughter.

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:open_mouth: Hey now I am not that old, I am gonna give you such a spank. LOL

Tish

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Thank you Tisha and Bosshank for your help. I think I’ll start with the A314, Ammo and one of the “instant” ones.

I’m definitely going to start with very low doses (maybe less than one spray) and see how things change. I don’t want to OD and definitely don’t want to confuse my kid.

At the end of the day, if I had to get rid of whatever is left on my skin, what’s the best way? Does a normal shower work?

^^
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Heh heh, I think whatever bosshank is wearing is working :cool: (j/k)

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Welcome to pherotalk Iter!

Let me just say that is very commendable as my daughter’s dad walked out on her before she was even born.

As a single mom I can relate.

My team gave you some great suggestions and what you want to do as your child grows older is get into activities that can help you be more healthy and happy.

A happy parent means a happy child and starting to feel attractive as a man and doing normal things like going out with your friends is good.

I started gym, paying real close attention to my looks and going out with friends after a very long time of just being in a rut.

Now that am happier and healthier so is my daughter and our relationship.

I wish you blessings both you and your daughter.

Message me anytime you want to swap stories.

Your gc was issued!

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Thank you Mickaelia. I was also in somewhat of a rut for about three years. Now my energy levels are higher and slowly starting to get back into a somewhat “normal” life. I’m glad things are looking better for you. It’ll be great to swap stories with you sometime. Thanks for the GC!

Now it’s time for me to try out a few products :slight_smile: