… who wants to be comfortable in showing others more of my personality.
Hey everyone,
I’m a 25 year old from California. For some reason that I still don’t truly understand, people seem to make a big deal over trying to figure me out when they meet me, and I hate that some actually seem uneasy and weird about it. I think that part of it is that the way I look – or maybe the vibes that I send out? – may not match how I behave.
Some seem to initially expect me to be more outgoing than I am… and then seem to reconstruct their thoughts after they see me being quiet and reserved.
Most others will perceive me as being very soft-spoken and timid… and some make a big deal out of their surprise when I do or say something that changes that perception.
This is both confusing for others as well as myself. I end up being too self-conscious and aware of how I might be coming off, and I’ll just feel awkward. I almost always end up being quiet because I want to either get rid of or avoid the group’s spotlight while they ask me questions to figure out how to socially categorize me. I end up consciously toning down my personality and body movements over this, till I feel that the response will be better. It can get really uncomfortable! It all just seems ridiculous to me. SO yea, I’m really wondering about everything involved with ‘presence’ and the vibes I’m sending off.
My newest social setting is at my new workplace, which is full of people in my age range. A lot of them seem to be outgoing and uncomfortable with silence. And what I just wrote about above, has happened just about every time I’ve worked with the larger groups. Sometimes it makes for a fun thing, sometimes it was just uncomfortable and not so fun. Most of my co-workers have been friendly and welcoming, but some will act uneasy, testy, awkward, and/or will ignore me. It’d be nice to open myself up into the environment at work.
I’m curious to see what some pheromones can do!
So this is what I would like some help with:
- more respect (especially at work!)
- to display more confidence
- my presence acknowledged and responded to (in a positive way)
- to get more encouraging responses from people in new, large group settings
- others to recognize that I like to have fun, can be trusted, and that I’m open for that connection
- to re-ignite (the more recently deadened : ) sparks of attraction
I’m not sure if it’s the result of my looks+demeanor combo, or what. I am curious, silly, free-spirited, quiet, excitable, quirky, easy-going, and seemingly innocent… but up for thrills and adventure. I grew up being pretty shy, and it has left me with some funny, awkward coming-of-age stories. I’ve actually grown out of it for the most part, but I’m realizing that now I will become shy and withdraw to avoid being disliked or perceived as a threat (to girls, mostly). I basically give away my leadership in exchange for being perceived as respectful and friendly. I don’t want to continue selling myself short. I also feel that I have tried hard enough to make it easy for others to feel open and comfortable around me.
I am really looking forward to trying these pheromones out to experience any noticeable differences. I’ve read some of the older threads and it sounds fun. Thanks to everyone who reads this long post. To Steve, your $25 intro gift incentive got me writing this… and I’m eyeing the Instant Shine! :0) Though, I’m open to any suggestions on pheromones that might give me some interesting results!
