Finding your sweet spot has nothing to do with those factors, it is a process that you need to do with each product. This post might help How to find your sweet spot…
And thanks for the info about yourself.
For that initial shyness, Instant Openness is the way to go. It is a great ice breaker, and makes both you and those around you more comfortable about initiating conversation.
The other product you should start with is Ammo, which will give both your confidence and sex appeal a boost, and can be worn anywhere.
I hope this helps, and please ask if you have any more questions! 