I got a togo bottle of IH with my order of IO (Thanks AD . !!!) . It came just in time because there was this girl in my math class that I wanted to test it out with . Like 10 mins before class (night time class), I go into the bathroom for 1 spray of IH since I never tried it before . I accidentally sprayed 2 i believe (or 1.5 sprays) on accident . I t wasn’t coming out when i pushed down on the nozzle the first time so I thought I had to push it a couple times . So I go into class and sit down. Class starts and the girl I’m looking for isn’t there so I’m saying to myself “oh great I wasted 2 sprays of IH”. But then she would come in about 5 mins late . As she walks up I meet her eye and give a slight smile . She sits right next to me . (well Idk if that was the mones working because she was sitting there last week) . Figuring that I should test out the mones, I ask her if she understood the homework we had . We start talking and its just on and off talking every chance we (well I guess I) get . Two things though: 1. I noticed how she couldn’t keep still . Her leg was shaking (I saw something about this in another thread in the forum) . 2) I noticed how she would rotate the chair so that her body was facing me several times (the chairs are on an axis so they rotate) . She even bumped my foot . The funny part about that was that I was watching her from my peripheral vision so I saw every motion she made before she “accidentally” bumped into my foot .
Anyway after class is over she offers to give me a ride back to my dorm (us freshmen aren’t allowed cars on campus without written consent) . Well it was cold so I figured yea why not . Once we got back we talked a little bit and she asked for my number (again I can’t say it was the mones, she had been in class talking about how she did not understand the math homework and would like me to tutor her). After that I get out of the car and watch her leave …
Ok that was the story, now here is the reason why I’m making the thread…
Today I was texting her and she asked me if she could make copies of the pages for my math workbook . I had no problem but I told her I already wrote in them. She seemed to take it the wrong way because she texted me back like I didn’t wanna help her. She wanted to make copies of the assignments we didn’t get to yet . I had misunderstood it as her wanting to copies the assignment that was due next week. But either way I wasn’t calling her a cheater. I tried to explain myself but it seems like she wasn’t listening . And now she texted me and said maybe we shouldn’t be friends . ! I’m just sitting her going . “what the heck just happened . ??”
So my question is: Does IH have the potential to be so powerful in getting women to trust you that just one small mistake can cause them to feel hurt . ?
I just realized I forgot something . She wanted to make copies of the assignments we didn’t get to yet . I don’t think she had the intention to copy my work .
I’m assuming that if you use IH for the bonding power and what not and if you happen to do something bad, then wouldn’t people normally feel hurt without IH?
Oh so you’re saying I should use the “feel good” mone to make her feel better . ? Even if I haven’t noticed any reaction with IS . ? (I have with myself though the first time, I used it. Subsequent times, the effect was weaker .)
Right around the time me and my EX had a nasty split I began to use mones, this was last summer.
I purchased a 4x bottle of IH in 30ml size of course and started right off using it just as we began to sort of talk again. I noticed an immediate reaction in that she pulled away and started to give me shit again. I think in some cases, if the girl is not ready to trust yet something like IH can cause issues because they’re conflicted and confused and afraid of getting hurt again.
In my case, I used smaller doses 1/2 spray until she started to come around again and added more as the bond between us was reestablished.
So I guess my point is, yeah its possible. She could have very well felt this instantaneous bond that something like IH can create and now feels like her trust is broken. But then again she could have picked out the wrong shoes that morning, got her period, had an argument with a friend etc.
Women are like nature… sometimes you just gotta sit back and watch the beauty of it all as it unfolds, no matter how much damage it may cause. Because in the end, there isn’t always a reason, it just is…
good advice here so far, as to how she reacted it was just a communication problem between you two. I would just let it be for a couple of days or until you see her again. Put some IS on and explain to her that you didn’t mean it to come off ass her cheating off you etc…and that YOU mis understood the questions, even if you didn’t girls get a kick of knowing they were right.
That’s a very bad reason. A girl wants to spend more time with you and the only reason that you agree is that’s otherwise to cold to walk alone?
There a chance that she wants you to tutor her to have an opportunity to be alone with you.
If you don’t pick up on that invitation but instead explain why you aren’t in a position to help it might come of as rejection.
You might want to take a look at the four sides communication model of Schulz von Thun: Four sides model - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (The Wikipedia explanation isn’t perfect but Schulz von Thun himself writes in German)
You misunderstood me too . The fact that it was cold acted as a persuasion factor for me . There’s always a persuasion factor acting whenever we make a decision . (ex . Walk to the store for exercise or drive . I can get there faster if I drive so why not . ?) Let’s not forget this is the first time I’m actually meeting her . We all know that we are weary of strangers the first time around .
Sometimes, some girls DO NOT like the feeling of intimacy and back out from you. Who knows? All she wants to do is have fun or be a playmate. From my experience YOU NEVER KNOW !
Whether or not driving would get you faster to your destination is irrelevant.
She wanted to give you a favor. If you liked her that should be reason enough to accept her favor.
There no reason to let any practical concern get in the way of accepting a favor that a girl with whom there mutual interest wants to give you. Especially when she thinks that she owes you something because you did her the favor in promising to tutor her the math.
She wasn’t weary of you and trusted you. You didn’t gave her the same trust in return. That’s being incongruent with the message that IH sends out.
There a good chance that the girl got that impression that you didn’t return her trust. As a result the girl got offended in a way that you didn’t understood.
When you tried to explain to her that you didn’t thought that she wanted to cheat she didn’t listened because it wasn’t her main issue.
This is a common course of misunderstandings.
The girl communicates on a relationship layer. The guy communicates on the matter layer.
The guy offends the girl because he’s oblivious to the content that he communicates on the relationship layer.
Wow . Who knew these types of things were so complex . ? But if the whole scenario was about trust then why was it the next day that she decided we shouldn’t be friends . ? I even txt’ed her the night she dropped me off trying to make sure if she got home or not . Is that not indication that I care . ?
Women live in the moment, and act based upon what feeling that moment brings them.
Now of course this is over simplifying things, and generalizing the sexes but for example…
Two guy friends who know each other for a couple of years. They decide they’re gonna hang out, so Guy A takes all his plans and makes them around the night they are gonna hang out, even tells his girl he doesn’t have time for her. Guy B completely forgets about the night and leaves his buddy hanging. Guy A is of course a bit taken back, but this is the first time guy B has ever done this, and knowing his consistent track record doesn’t toss out the friendship or make too much of it, because it will probably never happen again.
Now…
There’s a couple, been married 10 years. The husband has never left his wife hanging for any reason. If he thinks he’s even gonna be a few minutes late he calls her. But then one day she asks him to meet her at the mall for lunch to get the kid a b-day present. The husband gets caught up in a sales meeting and for once in their 10 year relationship he forgets to notify his wife.
She is of course concerned for his safety, but in the end mortified that he forgot about her and is extremely pissed. He explains how in 10 years this has never happened. She’s not hearing it. 10 years doesn’t matter, 20 or 30 years wouldn’t matter. It happened NOW, and in this moment her trust is broken.
Or in another example, you could ask your girl if she wanted to go to a concert and because she’s upset about something she says abruptly…“NO!” So instead of arguing with her, you sit and listen to her concerns and then you grab her by the waist, pull her in and say, “Let’s go listen to some great music!” and she giggles and says “oh yeah baby!”
5 minutes ago she hated you, and now she loves you more than ever. Women live in the present moment…so you never know what was going on when you texted her. It may have not had anything to do with you at all, and tomorrow she may be ready to start up a long term relationship with you.
It may not have had anything to do with me . ? Well then why take it out on me then . ? She could have just not txt’ed me til she cooled off or something .
IH is about connecting and while it does have its trust attributes that is something you have to be congruent with to be felt.
Its really not difficult to understand. She gave clear signals. She probably is having a tough time in math which could be why she is not in a hurry to get to the class. You sat in the chair right next to where she sat last week and made eye contact the IH hits her and she feels a connection so she plants her butt. You initiate the conversation asking if she understands the math. She reacts with her true feelings and says she needs a tutor. Hmmm…smart guy, seems interested, got a connection…could come in handy. She becomes nervous because she has to ask a guy she doesn’t know well for something. Her legs starts to bounce in nervousness. Ok lets do this… she flirts mildly, shows some interest then offers you a ride. She does something for you now you have to reciprocate and do something for her. Give her the math papers. Now she may not have asked outright for you to give her the answers. I think she was working her way up to that though. You called her out early which made her feel vulnerable and exposed even though you did it accidentally. If she was on the up and up and really interested she would have just corrected your mistaken assumption. When they protest to much its usually because your right
This is one of those cases were mones just wont do all the work for you. Sure they probably made her feel more connected and trustful, more able to talk about needing a tutor and asking for your help but they cant create something from nothing. There has to be some small sense of natural attraction. She just happened to be attracted to your math skills.
I wasn’t there and I have only your version of what happened with is filtered by your ability to perceive what happened. I can give you an explanation that accounts for the facts that you mentioned and that explains her reaction.
It started that way. Then you had a conversation where you felt that she didn’t listen to you and she probably felt that you didn’t listened to her concerns.
You send mixed messages.
Telling you that you maybe shouldn’t be friends might be a way to force a decision on your part.
It might be simple a way to express the frustration that she felt at the moment.
How do you go forward? The next time you see her, give her the copies she asked for.
