Years ago, Mad Magazine used to have
a usual monthly satire article, with ridiculous
satires; ie ‘Presidential speeches we’d like to see’.
Something clicked in my head and without further ado, we kindly present to you:
ANDROTICS PHEROMONES WE’D LIKE TO SEE!(Or maybe not..)
INSTANT RELIGION: Amen and Hallelujah, my brothers and sisters! Not only will this pheromone give you a sense of uplifted spiritual wonder, it’ll also get people around you to speak in tongues! *Be careful, as this product may incur the wrath of the Almighty and may cause dresser mirrors to break or shatter.
INSTANT REDNECK: YEEHAW! This exclusive new product will give you the feeling that you need to put lots of cars on blocks in front of your yard! You may also feel the need to whistle ‘Dixie’ and listen to Hank Jr. while under it’s effects. Be sure to cook up some chittlins’, ‘cause all your buddies will be feelin’ an urge to watch some NASCAR with yall, mayn’! *Free CB Radio included with purchase!
INSTANT SMARTASS: Feel like being the life of the party? Well, you may not be, but you’ll be a heck of a comedian! With this product, even totally pointless things that you say or do will be construed as hilarious! Be careful, because in a life or death situation, this may not work too well!
INSTANT PHEROMONE: Boring day at the office? We have the cure! Though this pheromone won’t effect you directly, imagine the ‘shock and awe’ when a watergun-like burst of mones sprays on a co-worker, right out of your pores! Afterwards, when your co-worker gets hit with Instant Douchebag - an extreme version of Instant Jerk - and he starts cussing out the boss and giving him wedgies, imagine the hilarity! This special blend pheromone will spray people at random with all of the following ‘X’-treme Mones line: Instant Douchebag, Instant Too-Much-Info, Instant Redneck, Instant Religion, Omega 315, Turn up the Flatulence, and Instant Denial!
Chris
(These products are not real and not really from Androtics Direct, this is just a parody.)
