Ok, so here’s the scoop:
I am fairly androgynous both in appearance and mentality, and typically seek the attention of (androgynous to femme side of the spectrum) lesbians and bisexual women.
When I go to clubs and bars, I am usually out of my element, and its fairly noticeable to others. But I bought, like, a bazillion new pheromones and thought to myself “What the heck, I better put these to use.” So I went with some friends. Quiet, awkwardness and all. I told the friend I went with exactly what I was doing, so I could confirm with her that the attention I might get would be out of the ordinary. Holy crap.
This is what I wore:
Instant Sexiness A- one spray to chest, one split between wrists.
Ammunition-(for men) one spray chest.
Instant Shine- Hair
So, we walk into the club, and I find my group of 6 or so acquaintances who I was meeting up with. I say hello and go to the bar to get a drink. The club is quite full, so I kind of find my way to the side of the bar. This random girl, who I apparently walked by on the way to getting there, came up to me immediately- touched my back and said “Are you buying a drink?”
“Yes.”
“Well, you might try towards the middle of the bar to get faster service.” she winks.
Awkwardly, “Ok, thanks.” I half smiled.
And then I actually smiled because I’m like “wtf! That never happens!”
So then I get back to my group of friends. We’re all casually talking about random things, but even my friend, Shelle, the friend I went with notices that these “acquaintances” of mine are paying much more attention to me than usual. One of them goes so far as to make a joke about hitting on woman and touching their leg- and proceeds to do the same to me. I’m not interested in this person, so I try to put off “just friend” vibes.
As I’m standing there talking, one of the girls say “Omg, some person keeps walking by who smells so amazing. Can you smell that?” The other girl agrees. I smile and say nothing. A few minutes later, literally, 3 of them were all agreeing on how much they loved my shirt. Normally, for normal people, I would say thats not really a big deal. But these people know me well enough to know that I pretty much wear some kind of variation of a black or dark colored button up, collared, long sleeve shirt EVERY TIME I GO OUT. In this case it was black. As usual. They were literally touching me to see who made the shirt and everything. So funny.
So then, I run to the bathroom and come back. One of my closer friends in the group says “Sara, I think its YOU!”.
“What?”
“Are you wearing cologne?”
“Yes.” (pause) (DITH from her.) “um…do you want to smell me to see if that’s what youre smelling? haha”
She smells my chest and nods.
“wtf are you wearing?!”
“I’d tell you, but I’d have to kill you. And at this point, I’m really not sure anymore. heh.”
I seriously felt like a piece of meat that was being waved in front of a pack of wolves. Shelle confirmed it wasnt my imagination.
So after the club, I go to stay at my friends house because its a long drive home. Her girlfriend works the late shift at another bar and walks into the living room wear I am sprawled out on the couch with messy hair, and probably pizza on my shirt. I have the blanket wrapped up around me, snuggling with my friends boston terrier, and a disney tigger stuffed animal. Totally unattractive. Her girlfriend, which is a totally hot femme that I would date if she weren’t taken keeps staring at me. She then says to me, I kid you not, “Wow, Sara. You’re looking really hot lately! Its like you have a whole new aura or something! You better watch out, Shelle, I might have to cheat on you with Sara.” (pause)
Shelle and I burst out laughing. And I’m like, Holy shit, Shelle- these pheromones rock! Shelle tells her girlfriend the “experiment” Ive been conducting all night.
Ah. Like bears to honey. 