Day 3 (Today)
Morning 6 sprays of 5mcg each to neck, drying down in between. Total 30mcg.
Good run to school this morning, my son was happy and compliant again. Immediately after dropping him off, I added 4 more sprays, total now 50mcg. I did this, as I was thinking about the girl I was into a fair amount still. After this, I thought about her less. When she enters my thoughts it is definitely less painful though. The feelings run very deep, so maybe this is why they haven’t gone completely, but I am trying to even rule out the possibility that there will ever be anything between us, where before I always deep down, at the back of my mind hoped there would be something in the future.
Got home and ex made me a coffee. I worked upstairs for an hour and was very productive - no real distractions and quickly ticked off my jobs list - far better than I have been able to do for a while. I kind of felt like the film Limitless, like more areas of my brain have suddenly been unlocked and I can function on a whole other level. Driving the car is one example. When driving, I always observe around me, especially women in the car next to me, or walking along the street, nice scenery, cool cars, etc, etc. However, this morning this was all achieved with NO EXTRA EFFORT. I wasn’t even conscious of making an effort to look at the person next to me, yet I could see their facial features perfectly.
Went out to a caf? for lunch. Usually, when wearing A314, P91, Instant line or Ammo, I get a lot of hits from girls. I got a few, but it was more like me without the mones. What I did feel like I got, was much more respect hits. People looking at me for approval, being more polite than normal and a few groups of people looking at me like I was different, somehow kind of a big deal. That’s how it felt. I had my laptop and was less distracted, managing to type an easy 1000 words on an article I am doing. Ex called me to be awkward and I felt empowered and refused to argue with her about it, as I was sitting in a caf?.
That brings us upto now. I feel like I do have less social anxiety - walking into the trendy caf? can be intimidating, but wasn’t today, neither was being very direct with the pretty waitress.
