Safety Testing for IFM :: Classifed

[evolver]

Welcome, gentlemen.

I’m glad you could make it. Today marks the inaguration of the beginning of the Instant Female Magic SAFETY TESTS. The first of many uses. As we all know Instant Female Magic, here on in refferred to as Instant Female Magic, has caused depression in some males brave enough to use such a pheromone. And education is imperative in such a brave endeavour as pheromone usage!!!

After successful testing with Instant Honesty and Instant Openness, Instant Female Magic was next on the schedule. So begins the field report. Keep in mind the brevity of this situation. The agent involved risked his masculinity to bring you these documents.

IFM SAFETY TESTS :: AGENT EVOLVER :: 04/05/08 :: BEGIN TESTS

1400Hrs: I, Agent Evolve woke up and stepped out of bed. Memories of last night floated in my conciousness. That girl with the cowboy hat that had turned her face when I went for the kiss. The Bachelorette party that had rated me a 5/10 (not bad) on the hottie scale. But then changed their vote to 9 (total hottie) on prolonged exposure to Instant Honesty. I pushed these thoughts aside. Science requires complete and total attention.

1410Hrs: I faced myself in front of the mirror. I was about to embark on true test of my skills in observation. I carefully pulled out my TO-GO bottle of IFM.

1415Hrs: Careful application of IFM. I decided to spray on the back of my neck. Dare I spray on the neck directly*?* The smell is quite different than I expected. Completely Neutral.

1416Hrs: One press of the top. No pheromones spray. Second press of the top. Half spray. Third press of the top. 3/4 Spray. So in total one spray or slightly more. Damn the innaccuracy of these methods. I would have to go with my gut in this matter. And it was about to get interesting.

1420Hrs: I sit in front of my computer.
1425Hrs: No signs of depression. Mood stabilized and prepared for state shift.
1430Hrs: Thoughts shift to women. Slight pupil dilation. On the thought of “pussy”, pressure on my eyeballs. Could it be the start of tears?
1435Hrs: GET YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN! You are the definition of man. There is a reason we place ourselves in adverse conditions. To test our resolve. Mood stabilized.
1450Hrs: Decided my enviroment was stabilized, but my mood was open to suggestion.
1455Hrs: Watched the new Justice music video Stress. The ultimate in mood changing videos. http://deserteaglez.blogspot.com/2008/05/justice-stress.html
1500Hrs: Feelings. Yes I have them. The video made me question my identity, and my state. In this case there is only one option for the true scientist. Evidence. To the field!!!
1515Hrs: As I walk past American Apparel, I hear “AND ITS MY BIRTHDAY!” from inside. Female cooing and appreciation. This is the moment to strike!
1516Hrs: I leap next to the target. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I yell. I stop. How old are you? 18 you say? I scrutinize her appearance rigidly. Any imperceptible facial tic could be a hit. I don’t move. This experiment must be done with complete control.
1518Hrs: Total interaction time, two minutes.
1600Hrs: Entered grocery store. Time for tea. While shopping, one women is in the same aisle as me. She stops at the tea section. Same aisle??? we know what this means.
1700Hrs: I am walking down an empty street. An SUV pulls up with a mysteriously happy man inside. He begins asking me questions. This is obviously a gay man trying to pick up. Sure you’re not from around here. No, I don’t want your number. Good bye.
1710Hrs: I meet an aquaintance of mine. She starts a discussion but quickly bends to my superior conversational will. Cat people and Dog people. She asks to meet up sometimes this weekend. Funny, last time I met her, she told me to go away and have a good night.
1724Hrs: Testing Report Complete.

THUS ENDS IFM SAFETY TESTS.
HIGH PHEROMONE COMMAND HAS APPROVED IFM FOR FIELD USE WITH THE FOLLOWING COMBINATIONS: A314, Ammo, Instant Honesty, Instant Openness, Turn Up The Heat.

[data4]

So did anyone else have Safety Dance playing in your head after reading this, or is it just me? Reps for an amusing presentation.

-D4

[evolver]

Tests continued when I received a random 12am phone call from a friend of mine on Monday night. I was invited to meet them at a bar and socialize for a birthday.

I sprayed on spray of IFM and walked the 15 minutes to the venue.
Once there I sat on a comfortable seat and talked to my friend for a long time. She is a very happy person, and comfortable with who she is. The IFM accentuated her natural behavior. We made conversational rapport and she spoke at length about philosophy to which I listened interested.

One male in the group started talking about his studio, and mentioned how depressing it was that he lost his music once. I had the same thing happened once. All my music cds with no backups. Bummer.

Other than that noticed no effects on the men.
Women seemed opened up and conversational. Kino was present, but wasn’t the main focus of the conversation. Hands on thighs, around waist etc. We bounced next door, and I excused myself to apply one spray of Instant Honesty.

Returned, danced, had many shots and drinks bought for me by my friend. We then made plans to leave, and I asked her if she wished to come over and have pie. “It’s that time of the month.” was her reply. But she made no move to say no, so I assumed she would be joining me. After all the plans were sorted, she did come over. We ate the pie, drank tea and talked about her. She sort of got distant once we had almost finished our tea. I pulled her in for a kiss and suggested we watch a movie but she had to get going (she had things to do tomorrow was what she had told her friends). So she left.

There was effect of Instant Honesty was light on others and myself. I did feel that it lowered inhibitions when combined with IFM. I felt more natural asking her to come over. She felt more comfortable in my presence.