This is a joke which I found here (I’m not the author!)
Scotsman.com News - International - Sniffer dogs sacked for lewd behaviour
A guy sees a sign in front of a house:
“Talking Dog for Sale.”
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden.
The guy goes into the garden and sees a black mongrel just sitting there.
“I hear you can talk?”
“That’s right” the dog replies.
“So, what’s your story?”
The dog looks up and says, “Well, I discovered I was able to talk when I was a mere pup and I soon realised that I could help the government, so I told MI5 about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for over eight years. However, the jetting around was really beginning to tire me out. I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down so I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a load of pups and now I’m just retired.”
The guy is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
The owner says, “Ten Pounds.”
The guy says, “That dog is amazing, why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”
The owner replies, “Because he’s such a liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff.”