Tips and Thoughts for you who worry about your looks.

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

I’ve been reading and I’ve seen guys commenting on how they look so I decided to contribute and let you know the truth.

As you probably and hopefully know, looks matter little in this business(in the game). They will get you a little into the attraction phase but once you’re there, looks mean jack and I mean it.

I’m fairly good-looking but as I was a kid I was immensely introverted because I had problems yet to overcome (my childhood when I was like 12-14 years old), this prevented me from getting the results good looking dudes get when they’re young; they get more attraction from girls young and as they experience some IOI 's and crushes they naturally build confidence in their ability to interact with women. That is why most good-looking guys are with beautiful women; they got a head start on self-improvement.
Hope you guys see what I mean and stop worrying all together about how handsome you are. Try to do as much as possible in the looks department but when you’re done just let it go.

Want to know the reason why this will help you ?

  • You’ll be better looking which helps a little in the attraction area (and also their openness to your game, but that pretty advanced and I won’t get into it here)
  • You’ll FEEL better about yourself causing the most valuable thing to increase - Your self-confidence.
    This is what I absolutely LOVE about women and it helps guys with average looks:

Women judge you’re over-all appearance mostly on your packaging, meaning your style and your grooming.

Thanks to all the ladies for being mostly effected by your emotional brain :slight_smile: You give the lesser-looking guys hope…

Are women who use Pheromones ugly?
Looks, YET AGAIN, but with a twist! I swear!
P101 uncontrollable laughter report, reposted in Putative Molecules
P101 at four sprays: a night of uncontrollable laughter with two friends
When will you guys realize that LOOKS are almost all that matters!?
2

You make the mistake of assuming people–men and women–want to look better for other people, to gain status or get laid. Many of us also want to look great for ourselves. Why? We feel better with a toned body, choice doo, nice threads and a healthy complexion. Fresh organic food in one’s belly makes it even better. Self indulgence is pretty high on my list.

3

I seem VERY VERY unconfidenced with my outer look… I’ve heard tons of girls love my style.. rumors of girls loving me and that I just dont look bad at all!
Can’t help it… but I still can’t trust it… at all… if I would… I’d be such a step ahead..

Thanks for writing this… I know most of it is true… most of the beauty is inside… I have it… but girls couldnt always reach for it as my outside blocks me

4

There is a similar situation happening over in the women’s thread - well, at least on my part (but then again, I’m a woman, and isn’t it rather stereotypical for a woman to worry about her looks? :frowning:), and Ail set me straight - I’m sure she’ll do the same to you when she sees this thread.

While some guys like to look good for women, and some like to look good for themselves, I have to side with CuriousPUA. To most women - at least, the ones that are worth your time - looks aren’t everything. I even know a few, including myself, who think the physical aspect to be a bonus. :wink: There are many more factors at play here, guys, so don’t get yourself down on looks. Chances are that you - like Flip, for instance, who is adorable - are being far too hard on yourselves anyway.

Love,
Alseides

5

I’m sorry, wasn’t that just a rewrite of my thread?

Thanks though for reinforcing what I said man, good luck :slight_smile:

Ohh gosh… do you think I know a lot of dudes like you ? (You as a person might be special, but your problems are not). Yes, tons.

Ok, let me just list a couple of random things…

  • Women like sex much more than us men will ever do.
  • Very few women know what they really want in a man.
  • Not letting her know you’re sexually interested so you won’t look like a “jerk” will actually turn her into a friend(without benefits :wink:).
  • Thinking about how you’re doing with people in interactions will automatically make you inferior.
  • Your looks have little meaning, almost zero, to women.
    These statements may challenge your reality and probably most of the people out there. What your belief about looks is, is social conditioning. That’s why when you see a ugly dude with a beautiful woman you go “WTF? That dude just got lucky”. You know what I say ? - “He must have good game”, because I know from experience game is all that matters.
    Look, how many dudes do you know that are massively successful with women ? (It’s very unlikely you know many). All the other dudes are shit with women and almost every guy out there has a hard time getting consistent results with women. THAT IS WHERE SOCIAL CONDITIONING COMES IN. Their ego can’t handle it so they make up all these things that result in beliefs like yours. (There is much more to this but I won’t go into it)

I dare you to say this to a guy when a hot girl is nearby “hey man, you see that one over there ? She’s hot right ?.. Yeah exactly, so go talk to her”. There is a 98% chance he’ll make up an excuse, we’re genuisess at excuse-making, MASTERS. It’s all their ego man, exactly like yours. I truly hope you guys reading this can see where I’m going, just for your own sake.

Stop following the masses, they do not get success, so why listen? Get yourself out of the box, out of the “Matrix” and start facing it - You live in a society that does not often gain from telling you the truth.

But hey, check this out. You’re lucky, you’ve been exposed to this “truth” unlike most people. You have a chance to learn things few know. You have been exposed to the “Matrix”. (And I’ll repeat this overdone cliche once again) : “It’s up to you to chose the right pill”, and really make your life AWESOME instead of “lousy”, “average” or even “good” and learn how to become that chosen 3% of society, it’s not something you’re born with.

Think about it guys and let it marinate, I wish you the best either way, just look at this as a wake-up call. (Though I hate those annoying alarms on your cellphone, yuck!)

6

well for a while I felt awful about myself but since december I’ve lost about 20 pounds (30 more to go), so exercise and being at a healthy place is important for my own confidence.

however I put on A314 and suddenly I realllllllllly couldn’t give a S, but of course ‘dress’ the part too to add to the total package im shocked at what A314 does for my confidnece

7

Thanks for contributing allthough I’ll have to comment :slight_smile:

“To most women - at least, the ones that are worth your time - looks aren’t everything.”

I’ve met women that supposedly “were all about the looks” but were great people in spite of their initial shallow thinking.

And also “looks aren’t everything.” is something I think I can clearly state is more like “looks are almost nothing.”
Alseides, if a guy could make you feel all kinds of great things, make you feel gradually better about yourself leading to love for yourself and increase in happiness in your life, would you compromise some of that happiness to have a guy with “looks” ? (I’m asking you to really emotionally feel what I’m describing and take a decision based on that).

But women are also affected by social conditioning, it reads “if he has a nice car, good job and looks good people will see that and note that I’ve got a successful man”. So it does matter; the looks, but your clout or job and material possession matter even more than your looks.

But here’s a shocker: Social acceptance cancels those conditions almost out because social condition can be overwritten by social acceptance (duhh). It will give them validation either way. So learn how to be an Alpha male and respected socially and those things things I mentioned won’t matter nearly as much as you think. (Though I advice you work towards getting clout, if not only to raise your self-confidence, so you see, it’s all just confidence and congruency poeple).

8

Yeah man it’s cool you made the decision to change. You should always work towards bettering yourself because it leads to greater self-confidence and wizdome and well-being.

9

Aww. I feel like a defective woman. :roll_eyes: I’ve never kept women who were “all about looks” as friends.

To your question: “Alseides, if a guy could make you feel all kinds of great things, make you feel gradually better about yourself leading to love for yourself and increase in happiness in your life, would you compromise some of that happiness to have a guy with “looks” ? (I’m asking you to really emotionally feel what I’m describing and take a decision based on that).”

Yeah, you knew I’d say no. Just trying to boost confidence over here. :wink: Aww, I feel like a defective sort of woman. I will admit that social acceptance has gotten me once or twice over the years, but none of the other factors have really mattered to me (there are always exceptions, of course). :cool:

10

wow, i think ive concluded to myself that alot of the men here go for the same type of woman,lol.

i think what i heard here is “dont worry about your looks,its more important that you have money. thats what they are looking at”

am i wrong? :wink:

11

Man curious, this is almost like the DYD handbook. Is that were you pulled some of those italic parts?

Here is what I have found, girls don’t need to even be remotely attracted to you initially for you to steal there hearts. I do this all the time, meet a group of girls and none of them being remotely interested in me…Until I open my mouth. And no it’s not because I have fresh breath, it’s because I know what to say and how to say it to keep them with a DDB look. I believe the revamped M3 model is indeed:
a1=OPEN
a2= INTREST (and this is what im getting at)
a3= M2F
Interest, not attraction. And that always throws off some aspiring Pua’s (attraction is not a choice). Its not, if there interested. It’s a wicked circle if you think about it. And what Curious says is indeed true; women look for effort over results. If you’re groomed and dressed well and in the frame you portray(the clothes match the man), you’re going to get interest (and if handled well, attraction).

As for my self I always say average looking guy, I think of my self as a 7 (can’t decide, depends on the day and my frame). I get the Orlando Bloom comparison allot though. So Im thinking more an 8.

Also, if your worried about “if you look good or not” post a pic on Hot or Not.com and see what your rated. Then if you’re unhappy with the results go change and give it another try. Criticism is good for the mind, if you know what to filter and what to take.

NOTE: when most people are asked to rate them selves 1-10 on looks they will always pick 7 (I just happen to be 6-8, thus 7). This is not because of the Mystery pick a number trick it has to do with them not wanting to short them self on looks (because every one is attracted to there own face subconsciously) but there also being modest (and not saying 8-10).
This is also why the most gorgeous girls will say 7 or 8 trying to be a little truthful yet modest (because she actually knows) and a girl who is actually a 7-8 saying about a 10 (were she wants to be).

Hope this makes sense, and good post.

12

You aint kidding about not having to look good. I’m ugly as sin and yet I manage to do well. It’s all about you as a person.

Don’t believe I’m ugly? I changed my avitar so you can get a bad dose of the steveo. It’s an amazing tongue I’ve been told. :stuck_out_tongue:

13

You’re either making a stretch to be witty or grossly misread my post. I merely stated I’m an overconfident, egoistical and narcissistic SOB that enjoys looking at himself in the mirror. Nevertheless, I abhor “feel good” and “self help” jive talk. It’s so 80s. Get a life and act like a man. Everything will suddenly fall into place. It’s that simple.

As for appearance being considered good, bad or so-so, it depends on the culture and individuals involved. Asian women generally consider me to be tall and handsome whereas White women often see me as fragile and sexless. I don’t think about it much as I have plenty of fish to fry. If not, I can always fall back on glazing at my lovely form in the mirror…

14

Great thread.

I am only going to add 2 cents worth.

I am clinically obese.

I scored 3.4 on hot or not.

Perhaps I will end with a quote…

“Gem - London’s most seductive man?” London’s Metro newspaper 17/11/06.

:stuck_out_tongue:

15

Thanks man for appreciating.

The DYD what ?? I’ve never read his material, but thanks. He’s one of the most successful gurus out there :slight_smile:

I never quote anything without clearly stating where I got it from.

The “interest” thing… It’s also known as hooking a girl/set. Yes, I just didn’t add it because for some guys it’s over their heads and talking about attraction covers both I would say.

But you made a good point, that sets don’t even need to look at you once before you open, they don’t even have to give you 1 IOI, they can even give you an IOD (Indicator of disinterest) but it doesn’t matter, because you have the ability and skill to spark attraction. That’s why I always tell guys to not look for eye contact, just approach(added with the 3-second rule of course, I mean they can’t look for eye contact if they’re already over there :slight_smile:)

I totally disagree with your HotorNot suggestion because I don’t think men should seek validation. You’ll know when you’ve got tight inner-game when the onlt time you get validated is when you do something that is congruent with your aspirations and values i.e. validating yourself.

And about that rating thing, here’s how I rate myself: I’m an 8, nothing above or below, just an 8. If I rate my most important “looks” (i.e. my personality and social skill) I would rate myself a 6 (The Gurus being 9’s).

And don’t put your personality up on the “hot or not” website of life so people can critisise you and tell you how good/bad it is, only you should make that decisison (And not even that, you shouldn’t really care, the only thing valuable is how much you’re doing to be a better man).

Cool thread, it has come up with good points, I’m busy now so that’s why I could only answer this quote.

16

LOL - case in point: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZzjExe0XsA)

17

Having dwelled on the subject myself for some time, i decided to put some pictures of myself up on hot ot not. I found that a different look attracts a different kind of girl.
Long unkempt hair with some facial growth attracted about 20 girls ranging from 18-25. Most of them were from Canada.
Close shave with goatee and short hair with highlights attracted a lot of good looking girls from all over the USA. One thing i noticed was that i got very little attraction from girls in the U.K. :frowning: (where i live). Maybe different cultures have different ideas of male attractiveness.
Also when it comes to women, i tend to find that men, no matter where they are from wil always find a hot chick attractive. For example, we have Miss Carmen Electra and we have 1000 guys from all over the world. How many guys would say that she is not attractive? Not alot.
On the other hand if we were to take someone like Brad Pitt (asuming he wasn’t famous) and ask 1000 women if they think he is hot you would find that more of them would say no.
I think that women tend to go for a particular kind of guy, where as the vast majority of guys will always find a hot chick…Hot?

18

You nailed it bro. I grew up in an area–Washington State–where women generally found me unattractive. Moved to Honolulu–a melting pot but mostly Asian–after college and women were dropping on me from the ceiling and springing outta the bushes. It was a real eye opener. I ain’t ever moving…

Oddly, I’ve found one of the features women here find most attractive about a man is his job. That is, if he has a good one! It’s certainly one of the first questions they ask you.

19

Hence why i changed my line of work. A man with a good job is like a trophy husband.

20

I must agree with Alseides…it ISN’T all about your looks…or money, or status…it is about YOU…personality is the key…and I am one of those women who finds the physical aspect to be a bonus.

And, looks will not get your “foot in the door” with me (and most of my friends) either…I will not refrain from meeting a man simply because he doesn’t have the physical aspects that I initially find attractive…I say “initially” because I find that, once I meet a man, if he has that inner beauty, I can always find something physically attractive about him…and on the flip side…I have met (and dated) some men who were drop dead gorgeous by typical standards…but once I got to know them, I found that they were very UGLY…because of the personality…

And frankly…when you say…
“…But women are also affected by social conditioning, it reads “if he has a nice car, good job and looks good people will see that and note that I’ve got a successful man”. So it does matter; the looks, but your clout or job and material possession matter even more than your looks.”

Personally, I don’t give two hoots in hell what other people think of the man I’m with…that is MY business…AND, I would have to agree with my buddy Lor…many of you guys here must be looking for the same type of women…SHALLOW, NON-THINKING women…