Trying to influence a co-worker (professional reasons)

[RADMAN513]

@killersharks

And I very much appreciate the advices I get from you and the other members, Steve. I just didn’t know whether the information I just brought up were significant beforehand such as her having an SO.

So do you both think she was maybe somewhat attracted to me? I must’ve been missing signs. As for my part, yes I find her attractive but I didn’t act on it nor gave impressions and also for the fact that she has a SO. I know not to go in there. I have other female coworkers that I do find attractive too. I practically act and treat them the same way as her, I don’t notice anything similar on their end. I just don’t fish off the company pier.

Not only do I think she might be attracted to you, but personally and I apologize if I’m wrong but…dude read below

@killersharks

I reached in for a hug and we both hugged without feeling awkward about it.

It’s not that you felt or didn’t feel awkward…it’s that not feeling awkward was noteworthy.

She then patted my shoulders and rubbed my arm briefly.

Again, that’s very specific detail about the physical contact made. I mean I’m friends with some of the females at my office and I’m sure if I thought about it there was probably some physical contact with one or more of them today…but I wouldn’t remember that much detail unless it was one I was harboring feelings for. But maybe that’s just me.

We both said we had a great time and experience with each other. Of all the time I worked with her, we never hugged or have been touchy-feely/physically affectionate with each other.

Again, what has or hasn’t happened imo isn’t as telling as how much you notice about it.

As I was laying in bed last night, it hit me big time that she’ll no longer be there. It felt somewhat like breaking up with someone. It got me down. I’m not only losing a good co-worker, but a very good friend. I know I have to move on, be positive, accept reality: she’ll no longer be coming back. It’s easier said than done and this coming days and weeks will be tough. I’ll get over it.

Thanks very much to all your help regarding this.

Now while I could understand having a coworker in your thoughts as you lie awake in bed…I’ve done it myself but in all honesty when it’s happened it was a coworker that I actively socialized with outside the workplace…or one I WANTED to see outside the workplace. If it’s just somebody I enjoy working with, I feel bad, but they’re not a dominant enough thought that I can be in bed staring at the ceiling contemplating the fact that I may never see them again.

I think you might want to consider a little introspection bro.

[SteveO]

Yup I read the same thing and was thinking who likes who? Anyway don’t ever mix relationships with work, its not good for yah

[killersharks]

RADMAN513, Steve, thanks both for genuine responses.

@RADMAN513

Not only do I think she might be attracted to you, but personally and I apologize if I’m wrong but…dude read below

I don’t get where you’re saying she might be attracted to me. What is it that I posted that makes you think that she might be? I don’t think she is though. Our relationship has been strictly platonic.

@RADMAN513

It’s not that you felt or didn’t feel awkward…it’s that not feeling awkward was noteworthy.

Well, I had coworkers who left the job and even a simple exchange of goodbye/good luck/hand shake was/became awkward. And I’ve worked with and known them for a while.

@RADMAN513

Again, that’s very specific detail about the physical contact made. I mean I’m friends with some of the females at my office and I’m sure if I thought about it there was probably some physical contact with one or more of them today…but I wouldn’t remember that much detail unless it was one I was harboring feelings for. But maybe that’s just me.

Well, we never had that much/deep physical contact with each other for the most part that we’ve worked together other than an occasional quick pat or nudge on the arm/shoulder.

@RADMAN513

Now while I could understand having a coworker in your thoughts as you lie awake in bed…I’ve done it myself but in all honesty when it’s happened it was a coworker that I actively socialized with outside the workplace…or one I WANTED to see outside the workplace. If it’s just somebody I enjoy working with, I feel bad, but they’re not a dominant enough thought that I can be in bed staring at the ceiling contemplating the fact that I may never see them again.

Well, it was an eventful day and I’m trying to do a quick reflection on what happened that day. It’s just what I do before I go sleep if it has been an eventful day. It’s not like I the thought of her leaving kept me up for a while. I wouldn’t say she’s just a coworker, but I consider her a friend too.