Hey everyone,
So I went out with a girl a few weeks ago. She was very clearly into me and seeking a relationship. But I told her that I didn’t think I could do that and we should instead be friends. We’ve been texting back and forth since then, with some occasional flirting on my part because that’s just generally how I am. She’s an attractive girl and I’d like to have some sort of physical relationship with her in addition to being friends. She is quite sexually inexperienced and conservative so I don’t know how open she is to it. However, she is definitely very attracted to me as she’s told me repeatedly. We are supposed to hang out on Friday and get some food and then probably watch a movie or something at my place. I was wondering what pheromone mixes might work in terms of transitioning from a friendly vibe to a more sexual one. I have IO, IS, IH, Ammo, and TUTH all in the small to-go bottles. I’d love any feedback or suggestions.
Seems like you already have her in your pocket. There are no mones for turning someone into a FWB trust me. All depends on your girl’s experience and needs at the time being.
If she really is the conservative inexperienced type you have two options I think. Either back off and don’t toy with her (since you’re not planning to get into a relationship), or just f-close and deal with the consequences.. You already told her you wanna be friends, so she should be warned. Your decision.
Thanks Himeros! Yeah, I don’t want to mess with her or anything. I just figure if we’re both attracted to each other but a relationship really isn’t on the horizon, this might be a good option. But, you’re right that I shouldn’t toy with her and I’ll have to think about how wise it is to pursue anything physical.
As far as the pheros go, would TUTH have any effect in this situation?
I think it is a good thing you have told her that you’re not wanting a relationship, you’re more in control now, she could have made you wait for sex if you have agreed to a relationship straight away. Just an assumption.
The next time you see her or hang out with her I would actually just use AMMO and IS and focus on having a good time, maybe TUTH later on when things are heading in that direction. I would personally avoid IO and IH she might start talking about what’s really on her mind like wanting you as a boyfriend or what not.
Awesome, thanks still18!
in this kind of situation, sex is something that “just happened”, no matter how many times it happens. And nobody needs to know about it. You can tell her your secrets, but you’d never tell anyone the secrets she tells you, so she can trust you. and give her a bit of vulnerability, tell her about that time you were scared. And as far as sex, it’s never something that you expected to happen. Because we just have a lot of fun whenever we are together. Because you can’t help it that she turns you on when you look at her. blame yourself, but never be apologetic about it. Reassure her that you guys are just friends and everything is cool. If she sees other guys, it gets no reaction out of you, none whatsoever. Make sure to disqualify yourself as far as being LTR material. So you come up with endless excuses for you guys to be alone together somewhere isolated, just to do fun things as friends. If she says something like oh it’s so bad we are doing this, be like, “I know, it’s so bad”, but of course she’s irresistable to you which is your fault not hers, so things happen. If things get heated it’s not her fault she’s attractive. Whatever happens make sure it’s aways your fault you got turned on or watever, and give her an excuse not to look slutty. For ex. she’s mentioned her artwork, she’s just inviting you over to see her artwork over at her place or see that old movie or whatever. But there is no pushiness, she sees that you are quick to agree with her that this is bad and we should stop. You are quick to try and pull away from her attraction (after getting her worked up, of course), that provides a degree of push, so naturally she pulls more if you push more. Then you don’t come off as pulling her in all the time, it’s more balanced. Keep it a light and friendly positive environment, and don’t worry about outcome. We’re just trying to have as much fun as possible.
If it seems like too much romance is developing, more than you want, you can help kill that off by having her take more of a motherly roll toward you, like helping you out with cooking, laundry, cleaning, or errands, etc. you are a friend who needs help / support, and not her provider. She does things for you because she likes you, but also she likes you more because she did things for you
(backwards-rationalizing).
It’s helpful to use a physical escalation model:
Things have a natural order, so if you escalate one step at a time, whenever she becomes uncomfortable, just go down one step, get her enjoying that, then try escalating to the next step again a little later. There is direct touches and there is incidental.
eye contact < speaking to her < upper arm touch / hold < shoulder < upper back < lower back / move her to from place to place by lower back < hold hands / interlock fingers < kissing lips < touching face < stroke sides of breasts < nipple stimulation < masturbation giving HER orgasm < penetration
the last two might be reversed with some women as long as you don’t forget to finish her
some women will want you to skip the breasts, lifting both her and your shirts halfway so abdomens touch is a good intermediate step.
accessing her crotch from the rear is more successful with some women (they are used to rejecting advances from the front, so surprise them)
If she will interlock fingers with you for an extended time, very high probability she is ready for kissing. Look to see if she licks her lips.
A lot of girls don’t like you to touch their face or hair before kissing.
You can get to upper back with most women around the office without it seeming unfair to other women
from lower-back on, guiding her about, other women will feel jealousy if the attention
when you see it this way, you can make bold moves sometimes, like a girl offers you a handshake, you can pull her in with her hand and take a step forward to hug her by the lower back. Smile, hold the embrace and her hand for a bit, don’t break the initial eye contact and keep the conversation moving forward naturally. The lower back was actually the step below holding her hand. Guess what, she was the one who offered her hand to you, incidentally. Always get the eye contact before speaking and maintain it. Did she lick her lips while you were holding her hand? She was imagining kissing you then, subconsciously preparing, and if so you might have denied her something she was expecting in that moment. Did you catch it and then kiss her? Then you can likely get away with stroking her cheek and down behind her ear after that. “It just happened”. She was irresistible. Or you could have just settled for that handshake… After making out with her, once you have your lips down behind her eat to down her neck, and hands either around her waist, hands, neck you pretty much have her. If you see a woman sitting somewhere with her hands on her neck and her thigh, that’s a very submissive body language. If you are behind her with a hand on her neck and her thigh, she’s going to feel pretty submissive, and she’ll need to put her hands out to support herself if you bend her over something. If you confront her from the front, make sure you are the one who has his back to the wall. Control her by the waist, hands, and the neck to some extent - if you can guide her about dancing or walking, it’s the same.
Or perhaps, you are gesturing as explaining something to her, and you incidentally touch her abdomen or upper arm when making a point, laughing etc. Did she turn her back toward you somewhat as you touched her arm? That was a subtle invitation to proceed to touching her back as well. Please proceed and don’t misinterpret her turn of the back. She will feel a bit disappointed if her subtle hint goes unheeded in some confident and appropriate manner.