A314: Dealing with the sister-in-law

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

Just a quick report from me on wearing A314 today, more for the self-effects rather than any effect I saw on others (I wasn’t really observing to be honest).

Dose:

2 drops, followed by 2 sprays of of Eau Sauvage (not layered)

Context:

I was having one of those days. I was being shit tested by my wife’s sister who had come to visit. She’s one of those people who is very hot and knows it too, so she constantly shit-tests me by getting me to hold her handbag (she says she’s got a muscle strain in her arm, which is bullshit, but obviously I can’t call her out on it), comparing me with my wife’s ex, etc…She’s a real nasty piece of work.

Anyways - got home and thought what the fuck. Let me put on 2 drops of my cloaking device A314 (can’t remember which version, but I’m guessing v23)

I don’t know why, and it could be even more amplified if you are feeling a little down, but this application today certainly changed my mood. I wouldn’t say lifted my mood, but certainly changed it. I have been using IG a lot lately and have been ignoring A314, so that’s probably another reason why I felt the effect more.

Anyways, she re-appears and asks me to drive her to the mall. For some reason, I just said “No, I’m too busy now. Why didn’t you say before when we were out? I’m sorry, but maybe when [my wife] comes home, she can take you” - I would have normally hesitated being this firm with her (to maintain harmony in the family relations) but today, I just said it without thinking and without fear. If you think about it, the fear creeps in. I just said it without thinking and it felt great.

She went off in a huff and called the wife, who then speaks to me. I calmly explained everything that had happened and said that I can accommodate her where possible but at this point, I’m busy. That’s it, I’m busy. No further discussion. My wife said no problem, I’ll take her when I come home.

I felt like a true leader today, the leader of my home, where nonsense and bullshit just doesn’t fly (no pun intended!)

2

I just have to say, that this is one of those days where this product has really shown its power.

I often think back to before I was introduced to this world of mones and how differently my life or relationships, whether they be professional or personal, (from high school onwards) may have gone had I known about these things before!

3

Sorry to read this man. If you allow someone to shit test you and you do those things that she is asking you, then you failed the test. I hope you realize that. Also keep in mind, and you probably already know this, but by doing all those things to “keep harmony” you are basically telling your wife you don’t have boundaries for yourself and are essentially just a doormat. Women, especially those married, will still lose interest and move on from that type of person. She will get bored and, wll you get the idea. I suggest you wear A314 a lot more around your wife and take a more firm approach with her on stuff like this. You’re not actually keeping harmony my friend, your setting yourself up to be sad one day.

You seem to be a pretty genuine person and I like your posts. I just don’t want to read one day that your wife left you or cheated on you. I don’t give a damn who it is, but if someone was that disrespectful to me in my house I’d tell them they weren’t welcome. Sorry but your wife doesn’t come out looking very good from your description of the days events.

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D I T T O!

Even though I do believe in THE EXCEPTION … the percentages of Steve being wrong in this case, is very small.

From reading and enjoying your posts, I’d never guessed in a million years that you were a ‘YES, DEAR’ man.

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That’s harsh. In real life, especially married life, things are often easier said than done..

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Believe, you, me … it was NOT meant to be harsh.

Easier said than done, to me, is a saying to justify one’s mind set, depending.

Still, regardless of what people say and/or think … it is YOU that has to be happy, so if your wife and sister in-law gets to tell you what to do, how to do it, where to do it, and when to do it … JUST DO IT, I guess!

Don’t listen to Steve, go home, and tell your wife you’re not going to do something, and get beat up! :stuck_out_tongue:

Keep wearing A314, P.

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I’m closer in age with you ps.

I don’t think that Steve meant that to be callous or to hurt you or put you down in anyway. Just painting a picture of what can happen. Interestingly enough, the older and more experienced people here in the forum have probably seen more of this happen than you and I because of the age differences. Moreover, they ultimately want something best for you and they wouldn’t give you advice that would make it worst for you.

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Steve is right IMO, when you give in too often and try to really please women all the time, they take you for granted, they get bored and find better playthings to occupy their interests. You can be nice and have a servants heart and still stand firm in authority as the head of your house and when the time comes your answer should be respected, whatever it is. You lose that dynamic and the structure breaks downs as does the sense of security and it goes downhill from there. No one wants a doormat, if anything they want someone who is sensitive when they need to be and firm when that is called for as well…

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I do it all the time and with a smile. “Honey, will you mow the friggen lawn?” Yeah, yeah and walk off and do whatever the hell I want–usually drink a couple cold ones and go to a nudie bar with friends. I’m not fooling anybody but it helps save face for her and we don’t have to have a heated discussion or fight. I’ve suffered the sister in-law shit test a few times and, my first thought is to smack her, but usually play dumb and ignore her, and make a point of never following through with anything. They eventually give up.

10

That makes you a FAKE YES, DEAR man, G. :smiley:

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Or ah dad burn liar!

12

Now I won’t throw too much advice in here as I’ve never actually been married and thus I can’t give an honest comment based off personal experience. I can however share my perception and opinion based off of that.
Doing X favor for a person that seems to enjoy shit testing you in order to “maintain family harmony” would seem to imply that not doing stuff for her would land you in the doghouse with the wife. That your wife felt that she was entitled to an explanation for you not dropping whatever you were doing in order to help the in-law seems to comfirm this. This on top of the fact that your in-law already perceives your relationship as being one where if you refuse to help her, that she can get your wife to make you do it (otherwise why call and complain?..it comes off as a “fine, I’m going over your head then” act). That your wife seemed ok with your explanation doesn’t change the fact that she felt entitled to one.

If you do your sister in law a favor just because you feel like being nice, that’s fine and more power to you. But if you’re doing it to avoid the wife busting your chops for it, well that’s not a relationship dynamic that I would be happy in.
Again, I’ve never actually been married so I don’t know if this is the norm (although tv sitcoms seem to make it seem like it is) but if it is then I think I’m going to reconsider my feelings about wanting to get married someday myself.

13

As always I appreciate all of the opinions.

When I turned down my sister-in-law’s (SIL) request to take her out again, she threw a hissy fit and got on the phone to my wife. I have seen this happen a lot of times in other families, between other couples, where one sibling is dominant over another. My wife is not an alpha person at all (in fact she is very mellow) - she didn’t demand an explanation but wanted to understand WHY my SIL was so upset. If my true sister had called me up and was really upset (after having an argument with my wife), I would want to speak to my wife to try and understand what happened. It’s not a question of being in the doghouse or busting chops, its a question of trying to understand what has happened / been said, so we can fix it. I’m sure that at some point in your lives, most of you will come across a similar situation…

In Indian families, the extended family is a crucial part of family life and perhaps a concept that is a little alien to other cultures. Perhaps I should have been clearer when I say maintain family harmony. When I say maintain family harmony, I mean between my wife and her parents and my wife and the SIL. I don’t give a shit about what they all think about me. They all have a perception that pilots are all players and were reluctant to have their daughter marry me, but we still went ahead and eventually, they accepted me. My wife has a quiet personality and she gets very sensitive about these family things, so by trying to maintain family harmony, I feel that I am protecting her from all the shit about having a bad husband etc..

I guess every married couple is different and whether people think I’m a doormat or not, good luck to them. To be honest, I would have perhaps thought the same had I not been married and another forum member posted something like this, but when you’re actually in that situation, its very very different!

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I have a few friends from India and I know the family dynamics are quite different than with a typical American family (even if it is a second or third generation living in this country), family members of both parties assume and some times demand to be given some privileges and rights that for a person of this culture would be difficult to comprehend, but I think you should stick to your guns and stop the peace keeping mission (leave that to the UN) and they’ll get use to the fact that in your castle you are king.

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All over the world, men run the house, that is, I think that’s the case.

Still, there are LOTS of submissive men, and I guess the men of this forum with a more ALPHA attitude, will jump in here, and say, MAN UP! STAND UP! It’s your life, P, and if you’re happy with the way things are … leave it as is. :wink:

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Well my dear (M*2) I think this time we interpreted P’s a bit differently, I understood from his writing that he is ready to stop the shit testing and I wholeheartedly think he is to be encourage to do so. My own SIL tried when she came to visit (19 years ago) and it only lasted a few minutes (she never came to visit again); after a while (at least on the phone) the in laws came around and we get along great now and I see’em every time I travel back home. In the final though I guess leaving things the way they are should be also cool.

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No matter what IS … being happy is better than being KING. I believe and agree with that saying, so …

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…Nuf said :slight_smile:,

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I guess every married couple is different and whether people think I’m a doormat or not, good luck to them. To be honest, I would have perhaps thought the same had I not been married and another forum member posted something like this, but when you’re actually in that situation, its very very different!

I totaly agree with you dude as I am gujrati my self with family of my own live with parent just around da corner and sis in england come for holiday here in auckland just about every 2 years bein olders son my parent and all family dimands are high, and I have to find balance in life to make thing work smooth and sum times you have bite bullet and do sumthing for shit testing family members. gud on ya m8 you not a doormat atall.:cool:

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I know what you mean - last weekend I got a surprise visit from the parents in law while wearing A314 + Tuth.. They mentioned the bitchy holier than thou grandmother in law may be visiting our flat and that we may have to tidy up. Already knowing she is overly critical and rude I said “well I hope not, and she better not put down everything we are - I can bite hard” to the mom in law. She understood, but was quite shocked and possibly upset at the jab.