This is something I thought I’d ask on this forum, as I simply cannot think of any other place where people would know what I’m talking about
Brief introduction:
I’ve been reading up on what I’m supposed to be, as a man, to be attractive. You know the deal: many books have been written on the subject, especially in the past decade.
This is very difficult for me and it comes completely unnatural. My personality is the exact opposite of what they describe. Ever heard of the “nice guy who finishes last”? I’m ten times that. It has probably so much to do with my innate character, as with the lack of a decent father I chanced to have. Not only am I naturally inclined to be submissive and over-sensitive, but I was basically raised by my mother. You might guess at my rate of success with the ladies—I’m 30 now—and you would be right.
Other than that, I’m still making up my mind on this pheromone deal. I’ve read a ton of journals, discussions and stuff on this site. I’ve spent quite some money on them, for which I’d be inclined to think they are for real, if anything, to justify the expense But my rational mind keeps reminding me that I haven’t found any conclusive proof that they work, apart from an expensive placebo effect. I’m not complaining, I’m doing it as a funny experiment and I’ve already written off the expenses.
What I’m here to ask:
Do you know of any drugs—pharmaceutical, or possibly natural or homeopathic—that have any chance of helping bring out the traits of a man’s personality, an ‘alpha’ personality as they like to call it? I’m talking of impudence, boldness, nerve.
I know it’s a bold question, but who knows! After all, there are drugs nowadays, that alleviate—if not yet cure—things like depression and anxiety!
Yes, you can take drugs that alleviate anxiety and depression, but those are medical conditions, not personality traits
You can take various supplements that optimize your body’s own phermone and hormone production, but again, that’s not really a personality thing…
I think the only thing that would actually change or improve personality in the way you describe would be CBT, or other forms of self help type therapies where you re-train your brain to change your behaviour
Yes, steroids, get a good case of “roid rage” going…
Seriously, this isn’t calling for a drug or mone solution.
I think that perhaps some counseling is in your future. Only after you take care of the personality issues will mones help you with the last 10%. Perhaps you can get some recommendations from friends or check with the local psychology department of a local (teaching) hospital for recommendations.
Edit: Xiph, you might want to spell out what CBT means to you, it has several meanings some not so innocent.
I think the other posters are right, you don’t need a drug for this. What you need is already within you.
One e-book I have found very good is the Attraction Code, by Vin DiCarlo.
Most “pickup” literature out there is based on false ideas, like Mystery Method, and believe you need to make a woman like you by dressing like a freak (Mystery), or doing magic tricks (Mystery again), having cool routines (Style), or using verbal trickery (Speed Seduction). This is no different to thinking you need a flashy car or a lot of money to attract women. You don’t need any of that crap; you are enough.
DiCarlo’s main idea is that it’s only necessary to express your own personality in a masculine way to be attractive, and the key to that is where you focus your attention. An “alpha male” typically has his focus of attention outside of himself, on the other person, whereas a “beta male”, “nice guy” is focussing on himself. The alpha thinks “What do I think about this other person?” while the beta is thinking “What does this person think about me?”
There’s a lot more to it than that, but that’s it in a nutshell. Well worth checking out IMO.
I am completely convinced that the key for alpha personality traits is your level of natural testosterone. It’s amazing what a slight raise in it can do for your outlook towards life and your behavior in general.
There are several herbs which help with raising testosterone levels: search for more information on Tongkat Ali, Tribulus Terrestris, Avena Sativa etc. Bodybuilding (especially squats), extreme (or any competitive) sports etc. might help as well.
Which of these would you recommend? I’ve tried both Maca and Tongkat Ali for some weeks and didn’t get much out of them… Never heard of that Avena stuff before.
Hey bubblebob, I don’t want to recommend any particular brands, but search on amazon where there are reviews. You may have to try few brands before you find one that suits you. All test enhancing supplements need to be cycled though and may take few weeks to months to show effects.
"A herbal tincture of Avena sativa, the very same oats you use to make porridge, is a wonderful restorative for those suffering from nervous debility, fatigue, neuralgia or over-work! This is because Avena is a nourishing herb, helpful in any state of debility and exhaustion, and especially relevant during a period of convalescence or when stress levels are running high. This is because of the high nutritional content of the herb, which helps to restore strength and vitality to the body.
It is particularly suited as a long term treatment in nervous debility where it makes gradual but sustained progress. This means it can be used for those with neuralgia and neuritis. A little known benefit of Avena is that, if it is taken as part of a regime for those attempting to withdraw from an addiction to alcohol, smoking, tranquillisers or other drugs, it can ease the transition and make the whole withdrawal process a lot easier on the individual undertaking it.
It is a mild sedative and helps you sleep, properties that are thought to be due to the alkaloid, gramine. Another alkaloid in Avena, avenine, stimulates the central nervous system and is the constituent that causes horses fed on large quantities of oats to become highly excitable! This illustrates nicely the concept that herbs contain a diverse range of constituents which, when taken in the correct amounts, provide a balancing effect."
“Avena sativa Avena sativa is the scientific name for oats. An extract from the plant has the ability to increase testosterone levels by enhancing LH release. Maybe that’s why oatmeal is such a bodybuilding staple. A bowl of oatmeal probably doesn’t have enough of the active compound avenacosides to give a noticeable boost, but concentrated Avena sativa extract does. Avenacosides are a type of plant saponin similar to furostanolic saponins.”
ive run tribulus a few times and it only helps your libido, if you want somthing to help lift your natrual test you need somthing like activate extreme and possibly an AI (Aromatase inhibitor) as increase in test can cause aromatase into estrogen which is bad
Get some Tribulus T. from Iamshaman and make a good 15 min steep of tea out of it put it in a strainer or baggie or coffee filter though its pokey. But its pretty strong that way and will at least stabilize your moods for the better and give you some energy. Macca is pretty damn good too they have all kinds of macca stuff.
Yes I’m a woman. Living with a very grumpy non alpha boy who acts human on this stuff and almost… Like a …Man
If staying where you are is what you want, by all means. Give up. If you want to make a change, I suggest a psychological angle. You really only need to change your previous programming, and adjust your self image. There are a number of ways to increase your “alpha-ness”, including specific pheromones, CBT (I swear I almost choked laughing because the first thing that popped into my mind on that acronym was NOT “cognitive behavioral therapy”. lol) and other things. There’s also subliminal and hypnosis programs available that are designed to help. But if your natural personality is on the Yin side of the spectrum, you’ll find that the changes (if you make the effort) produce a quieter “alpha-ness” than most people think of.
You might want to look into a chemical called dopamine. It has many complex functions within the brain and you might have a deficiency.
However, PLEASE DO NOT SELF-MEDICATE. Drugs which increase dopamine have many side-effects which you need to be aware of. Do your own research and then go to a doctor and ask him about this.
Living with a very grumpy non alpha boy who acts human on this stuff and almost… Like a …Man