I have always figured myself as an alpha type person. Looking back, I was never a follower. I did my own thing. Sometimes others made fun of what I did. I never let it bother me for the most part. I see the world in a different view than most people. The view that I held caused people to follow me at times, at others it left me alienated. It got me a lot of women though. Women that were not in my league. My step father was a very dominant man. To the degree that he had to break others around him. I was something he could not understand because try as he might, he was unable to break me. I am not sure if my world view was developed to combat his dominant nature, or if I was born with it. I do know that it allowed me to get through some crazy shit and survive where others did not make it. If I was in a situation that I was not in control of, even one that was dangerous, I was able to assert my persuasion in whatever means necessary to spin the situation enough for me to come out on top. I have never taken the time to learn “game”, or persuasion tactics before in my life. This journey, just begun, already has opened me up so much. To persuade others you have to know your self first. Looking at my self, I think somehow I lost myself since around the time I got married.
Yesterday, I read the post from LaPew https://pheromonetalk.com/t/become-an-alpha-male-one-task-at-a-time/28112/6
While I do not exactly agree 100% with the post, I can verify that it is completely true. Before I was married, those rules were very similar to the ones I lived by. It worked out great. Life was great. Not much stress, no fuss. I got stuff done. I did not need pheromones. I did not need to read or write posts on a forum. The only thing I used the internet for was to limewire download free mp3s LOL. I was truly an Alpha man then. My wife, even with being sick, is out of my league. I will not lie. I like to think it was fate. We both started a job the same day. I was nervous around her and almost afraid to talk. I told my friends about how hot she was and decided that first day I would have her. I was intentional. I was clear about what it was I was going to do and how I would do it. No reading about how to do it. I just did it. At the end of the second week of work, I went out with her. We went out to a pool hall to have some drinks and play a couple games of pool. I went to use the restroom. I came back out walked up to her and just kissed her. She responded accordingly. We left and had a make out session in the rain. No sex, but she became mine that night. I did not question my actions. I just did because it was the right thing to do at the time. It was natural. Since we have been married, I have heard whispers of people wondering why she is with me. They do not understand. I am not bad looking by far. However I do not have the manliness that I possessed then. She and every one we come into contact with sees it.
Last night, my daughter said her stomach hurt. I asked her what she wanted me to do. She did not know. I was not sure what to do. I eventually gave her some Advil. That was not alpha. That was so beta. My daughter came away with the impression that I could not always protect her. That is not being a good man or really a good father. All of this came to me while I was sleeping last night. I have gotten bits and pieces of the message for years, but it never clicked until now. Knowing this, the problem now becomes, what shall I do with this important piece of knowledge.