Let’s face it, gentlemen.
Approach Anxiety is a bitch.
You’re out having fun with your friends at a bar, grocery store, coffee shop, or wherever, when all of a sudden, you spot this tantalizing, living, breathing, walking sex machine and she’s the hottest thing that you’ve ever seen.
Your pulse races. You feel the sweat trickling down your brow and you feel the lower portion of your body go into overdrive.
Your friends encourage you to go talk to her…to go say…something.
You hesitate.
What if she has a boyfriend? What if she’s taken? What if she thinks that I’m boring? What if, what if, what if???
Suddenly, you’re too afraid to do it.
You’ve given yourself some reason in your head why you won’t approach her, and then shrug it off as if it wasn’t worth it to begin with.
Problem is, YOU KNOW BETTER.
You wind up going home alone, wondering if this girl could have been an awesome girlfriend, or maybe the hottest, most crazy, intense sex that you’ve ever had.
THE TRUTH IS, WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE.
Even the master pickup-artists, social dynamics gurus, and naturals have been there on one occasion or another.
They’ve felt the fear, the paranoia, and the anxiety.
But where does it come from?
Here’s where.
It comes from instinct.
Inside all of us, we have a deep seeded fear of rejection.
It’s the fight or flight mechanism that is used for survival within the animal kingdom, and we all have had to deal with it.
It’s also a way that nature will keep you out of reproducing in her hot, steamy genepool of sex if you take ‘flight’ over ‘fight’.
I know, you’re thinking… “Nature isn’t fair”.
Life isn’t fair. Toughen up.
There are hurricanes that attack major cities, earthquakes and tornados that rock the world.
But through it all, there are the SURVIVORS.
They’ll do anything to stay alive, and no one will stop them.
They’ll take matters into their own hands, and lead people out of the destruction, dominating Mother Nature and spitting in the face of the odds.
These same types of people - the Alphas - were your ancestors.
If they weren’t like this, you wouldn’t be here today.
They had the gumption and fearlessness to conquer approach anxiety - to conquer mother nature’s most sacred process - and to ***WIN.
The problem starts when men put women on a pedestal.
When this beautiful, amazing goddess of sex that you’ve spotted in the earlier part of this post is put on a pedestal, you’ve already been beaten by mother nature… and even worse, you’ve been beaten by the strongest of foes that you will ever face…
YOURSELF!
You’ve put someone on a pedestal that has to take a bath just like you do.
Someone that gets sweaty, has to shave, urinates, and takes a big old poop…just like you!
Yes, even beautiful women poop. Something to remember when you see that ‘unapproachable goddess’.
She’s a person, just like you… not some prize that the average chode is going to be considering her… offering to buy her 400 drinks so he can buy her affection.
Do you realize how many guys have offered to buy her a drink? Do you realize how may times that she has heard stupid pick up lines?
She has to deal with afc’s and total chodes everywhere that she goes, so you’ve got to stand out in some way.
How?
YOU’VE GOT TO BE HER EQUAL.
With rare exception, women aren’t after money.
Yes, you heard me.
They don’t want a guy that tries to buy them.
They want a guy that produces comfort, attraction, and sexual tension.
Also one who isn’t afraid to walk over and take a chance.
WHICH LEADS ME TO YET ANOTHER POINT…
And this is going to be something that some of you hate to hear.
SHE ISN’T LOOKING FOR A ‘NICE GUY’.
I’ll explain, so listen closely…
You’re probably thinking ‘What woman wouldn’t want a nice guy?’
The problem is as simple as Mars & Venus.
The male and female definitions of ‘Nice Guy’ are skewed. They don’t line up in the way that you are thinking.
When we men think of a ‘nice guy’, we think of someone who is a provider, who will agree with her almost all of the time, and who listens to all of her complaints and worries like you’re Oprah friggin’ Winfrey.
The thing is, most of those guys wind up in the FRIEND ZONE!
“BUT HOW?”, you might ask, as you were being a very NICE GUY!!!
How?
HOW??
You have basically become her emotional tampon. And you’re still asking ‘HOW?’
The truth is, women may want a man who can take care of them sometimes, but they don’t want a guy who can’t keep a bit of mystery to him. Women want a guy who has a life of their own, and wont be stuck up their ass 24/7. A guy who is flirty, funny, sexy, and manly, but knows how to ‘push their buttons’ so to speak.
The problem starts in the beginning, and a lot of the time it comes from the same place as… YEP, YOU GUESSED IT…
*APPROACH ANXIETY!
The same fear of walking up to a woman to introduce yourself..
That same fear that makes excuses…
Is the same one that lands you in the friend zone.
I hear it time and time again from women… “Oh, so and so is a great guy, he’s really nice..” But they’d never give him a shot in hell because he just doesn’t push the buttons.
And then, way down the road when the guy finally tells her he’s interested, he’s already been relegated to ‘girlfriend’ status and there’s little chance of backtracking.
The number one reason?
He never states his intention from the get go!
Later on, the self-proclaimed “nice guy” becomes frustrated, angry, maybe even vindictive, and isn’t such a nice guy anymore.
It can be as simple as a naughty look early on.. as simple as a few flirtatious comments, and that can change the WHOLE GAME for you and her.
But you can’t let fear be your master.
Live for today.
Be a survivor.
The spoils and rewards are great, and rejection is irrelevant.
You are just as much of a prize as anyone else.
Chris
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