I’ve been ‘using’ for more than half a year now. I’ve been thinking of taking stock in my mone trajectory. I know that it was just to experiment, to try it out, I thought, “What harm could become of it?”. It’ll be fun… look at how many people are using and most are getting on great with their lives. I’d like to see what the fun is about. If it gets out of hand, I always thought, I can quit whenever I want to… I just have to stop ‘using’ and that’ll be the end of it. I can handle this… I’m a strong and tough guy… I can quit anytime!!!
However, now that I’ve gone a couple of days without… ‘using’… I can see how it had ‘gotten a hold’ of me… It was like I was in the predicament of being in the position of holding a rabid dog by his ears… damned if you do and damned if you don’t… Though, I think, what I’ve been ‘using’ doesn’t have such a negative connotation as rabies… Whatever, in any event, I thought, I don’t have a problem, I’ll just lock them away and go about my business. Problem? WHAT problem? ME, a problem, NOOOO… you must be thinking of Coolkat, Pherojack, Samuraitea, Empath or someone else… IIII don’t HAVE a problem!!! That’s just offensive to think THAT I, 1Alpha, has a problem. I’m not THAT bad!!! You must be thinking of Catlord or Tisha or Bella or even, the worst of the bunch, STEVE! NO, NO, NO, NOT ME!!!
Sure, I’ve been going about my day, looking for an excuse to ‘use’… but it’s not the way it looks! I’m only providing a mental exercise for when I CAN ‘use’ again… I’m sure P51 or JosieW or Radman ‘think’ this way, right!!! I don’t want to be ‘out of shape’ when I get back into the game… It doesn’t mean anything that I’m looking at ways to ‘use’ my stash… That’s just the normal way we ‘users’ think, right?
Then, today, I saw my 4x Instant Shine, and this is what brings me to post this admission, in the hopes that it will help at least ONE poor soul… I thought, 'I’ve been feeling a bit down this morning… actually, since yesterday, what harm will a squirt of this Instant Shine be? I’ve been good at quieting down those nasty voices in my head for the last 2 days… but… for some reason today, all I want is a LITTLE relief! IF only I can get a BIT of relief… all I need is JUST 1 shot, JUST 1 and that’ll be the end of it… I PROMISE!!! And, I did… Embarrassingly, not only one spray… but, I thought, since I’ve done one spray, why not go for 2?!? Then I thought, you know, I should even things out a bit, just a bit…I can’t just get through the day with TAA, I need just a little more, maybe a bit on none and rone… and I ended up with 2 sprays of IG, a shot of AMMO, P114 (20 mu), sprayed on my wrists, hair and neck… (no immediate self effects noticed) and of course, my 2 sprays of Instant Shine, 4x strength(self effects of IS: a bit of a smile streched my lips) today… I thought… I’m not hurting anyone but myself… just leave me alone…!!! It’ll be fine… I’ll just post a report and no one will be the wiser!!! Don’t judge me, you’re not so pure yourself people! I’ve had doubts about 2000GT and Jedi Nights and thegentleman and that twisted Ostrich. I think xev and annawithmones and Bolkie and mackie72 and Korths or The Ghost do the same thing!!! That Olfact and mobocaster and Onedzguy and Pagodeiro are just as bad, if not worse… They break down, I KNOW IT!!! I know there are many more of these unpredictable and flaky mone users, I just can’t think of all of them!!
But alas, I think… no, I know, I’m also hurting the loved ones around me… You, the true mone users of this lovely forum! You, the mone user reporting without bias and selflessly! If I get my self all out of whack with my wild, disorderly and impulsive manner, HOW can I TRULY provide a clear and unimpeded mone report!!! I’ve FAILED… And I’ve FAILED you ALL!!! I’ve failed the research… I’ve Failed Androtics and Mharris and Jasmin!!!
OHHH, the HUMANITY!!!
I ask for your compassion to this downtrodden lowly mone user. Please, please, I ask for clemency for the error and mistakes I’ve made!!! I should have known better… I know that now… I should have had the strength to abstain from ‘using’ just one more day… that was my goal, 3 days, but I failed on the last day!!! I beg, yes, beg of you to not show cruelty, harshness or even, dare I say, rejection for your fellow mone user!! I ask you to share in my sentiments, understand my humanity and accept in your heart forgiveness for my mistake!!!
I’ll read Steves Introduction to Mones a hundred times, just please, don’t turn your backs to me!!
I’ll read all of Tisha’s stickies in the Women’s Forum and memorize them… I Won’t Do It Again!!!
I’ll answer ALL of the INTRO posts for the next month all by myself!!! Well, that may be a BIT TOO harsh…but… no… NO… I’ll EVEN do that!!!
I’ll test out all the Sweet Spots of the New Ones that are starting out on MYSELF, for them!!! It will never, ever happen again!!!
Unfortunately, all I can do is make amends… do my best with the mones that I have… and get up, dust myself off and try again… Hard as it is to do, I admit and I realize, now, that I will fail again… I will just need to have the necessary will power to get up again to spritz or abstain another day!!!
Thank you for listening to my offerings of remorse and regret!
Know this: If you haven’t already been in my position… you will be… you will be…!! 
shes perfect except for one thing
