I have been married and divorced twice. Why? Comes down to some poor choices I have made in who I married. (That’s a whole other story).
I’ve been single for over a year now. I’ve had one date with a women who, while easy to chat with and who I share a lot in common with just doesn’t do it for me in the looks department.
That seems to be the problem. A lot of women my age have really let themselves go. I am not in the market for someone any younger than about 10 years and definitely not in the market for someone who looks older than I do.
I’ve been told I don’t look 50 and in fact, have always looked younger than I am.
I would love to hear from other men who are out there on the dating scene around my age and hear how they are doing.
I am not having much luck finding available women who are not obese or so mentally messed up that I would be going through what I have before.
You’re in a tough spot because you’re older and the women around you it seems 'just let themselves go". I feel your pain, I’m 39 and I think the same way.
If I were you I would get the following:
If you are gray get ‘Just for Men’ - if you’re balding shave your head
I’m busy at work and need to run now, so as well as Andromun’s good advice, have a look at my post here, which is broadly similar to what I’d say to you and highly applicable to women in their 30 and over, which is the age they really begin to tune-in to mature phero sigs:
As for the “characterful” women - look on them as an opportunity to enjoy and improve aspects of yourself without getting into serious commitment for a while. I’ve also been out of a couple of successive major hellish relationships for a few years now and I’m in no hurry to het hooked back-up again till I feel ready!
And as this is your first post, get your own thread started in the Intro Forum, with a little more info on the sort of places you might be using the pheros - that way you will get better advice and earn the GC to help get started.
This isn’t my first post actually. I said hello a few months ago.
Yes a tough spot indeed Andromun. I look at my classmates and they all look like freaking grandparents…some of them are…ahem so am I but, just recently.
I am drawn to a more youthful appearance though, not necessarily young.
My second ex was 8 years younger than me and liked older men. I’m hoping for someone else minus the drama.
Any advice where to look? I am a musician but, find the bars full of too young, too out of shape or couples.
On the musician thing, I have found contrary to popular belief that we don’t necessarily have an edge when it comes to attraction.
Either that or I haven’t been looking in the right direction.
As far as nightlife - you really are going to have to expand your circle here. I know of a cocktail bar near where I live that has the age range you are seeking.
You’ll need to seek out bars or social events that cater to 40 somethings. I’m sure at your age you maybe totally over that whole scene but if it’s a nice setting it maybe up your alley.
Also have you tried online dating? match or even eharmony? Who knows man you may find the one that was really meant for you.
Go for a younger woman. Don’t be so narrow minded thinking you should only go 10 years younger. 50 easily goes with 35.. If that 50 y.o is successful, has money, good job, good looks, and good body. Many 35 y.o Latinas and Asians age very well.
You say you haven’t let youself go so set your expectations higher.. You have more experience now being married twice. Youre no beginner.
I am 44 and have women 21 to 30 eating out of my hand. Ive had 16 y.os hit on me.. Pretty scary I know that they would even flirt with me when I don’t flirt with them.
I don’t know about a314. They say its a status mone and if youre older itll suit you but 35 y.o women generally respond to a higher none sig as they at sexual peak.
Where can you meet women… hit the club scene. 30s club joints.. Youll find many mid thirties women in shape with hot bods there. If you can bring all the goods ive noted above as a man you can take your pick.
I’m ~50, so I know what you mean about “letting themselves go”. At 35, I knew a few unmarried (but attached) 50 yo women I’d have gone for, even then. Alas I don’t know any today.
Here’s a suggestion, now that I think about it: several of those women were “Christian Syrian” [Syrian Orthodox church]. If you don’t favor an ‘ethnic’ look, don’t worry: they have a completely Caucasian appearance. One of my favorites bore a startling resemblance to Barbara Feldon aka Agent 99 on the original “Get Smart” (you young’uns hush: he knows who I mean. She was a common “Ginger or Mary Anne” matchup against Barbara Eden of “I Dream of Genie”) and another was a slightly heavier replica of Denise Crosby (Tasha Yar, the blonde security officer in season 1 of Star Trek: The Next Generation)
I mention this because the 2nd/3rd generation in that cultural/genetic enclave aged nicely without the sun damage of Syria (by contrast, lovely young Icelandic girls seek out any hint of sun, and become fetching-but-leathery after age 40 vs the similarly aged Scandinavian stock from which they derive) if they maintain their girlish weight, as many make a point of doing. Now that I think about it, I may have my (also gracefully aging) Syrian male friends re-acquaint me with their church community (Syrian Orthodox). I can’t say that most or maybe all Syrian Orthodox women retain their girlish figures, but you only need one!
I’d guess you have some cultural/genetic enclave akin to the Syrians of Norwood, MA (some enclaves favor keeping a girlish figure more than others). Identify them. You may hit a jackpot. It just takes a little research, because they likely won’t be roaming “in the general mating target population”. They often don’t want to be seen, by their friends, as “cruising”.
EDITED TO ADD: Can we please arrange a "crush swap"? I get far too many hits by college/grad-school aged women from the universities of Cambridge. I’d hate for them to go to waste.
