Does A314 lessen emotional sensitivity?

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I’ve had some fairly bad results leading a couple of meetings where the other people froze up or closed down a bit and/or my emotional sensitivity was deadened. (Both times I was wearing 2 drops A314 and no other pheros.) In either case, the net results was I did not create the emotional connection and feeling of trust and safety that I am used to creating and suffered the consequences.

I know people mention the idea that other people can feel uncomfortable in the presence of so much “alpha” status, but I’m used to people feeling uncomfortable around me because I often work with people who don’t know me yet need to get into vulnerable, painful emotional spaces in my presence. In the past, my emotional radar has been sensitive enough that I instinctively knew when I had to take action and what kind of action I needed to take to increase feelings of safety, comfort, trust, and connection, but while wearing A314 I’ve just failed repeatedly. It makes me wonder if part of A314’s effect is due to simply reducing sensitivity to other people’s emotions. After all, one of the key traits of an alpha male is that he is unaffected by others. Unfortunately, that’s counter-productive for me in some situations.

What do you A314 users think? Do I need to stop using A314 in these situations? Just be extra aware (recalibrate my emotional radar)? Extra pro-active?

What has your experience been getting other people to open up and be vulnerable to you while wearing A314?

My goal with wearing the A314 was to make them feel safer with having me as their leader. I don’t need Instant Honesty because that’s the skill I naturally have. So now that it seems that A314 makes them feel less safe with me initially (I’m more powerful, therefore more dangerous), I’m in the question of will it make them feel more safe after I gain their trust or should I just stop using it?

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I’m going to speculate in response, please bear with me if it turns out to be just so much worthless crap.

Preface: On this forum I’ve seen more than a few lines written on “congruence” and although it seems like a straightforward concept, I think there are some subtle, non-obvious dynamics. I don’t know if my contributions have been a net addition to the collected wisdom on this topic or not.

Ok, here’s my “guess”: you’re used to a therapeutic “done to” model of creating the means for a ‘client’ to move into those difficult spaces – you “do (or say) things” to the client to make the client better able to deal. In the epitome of the therapeutic model, the client is lying on the couch, disclosing and vulnerable, and the therapist is non-disclosing and secretive, but is sensitive and arranges the client experience to facilitate the desired outcome.

In contrast, I’d say that A314 would very strongly signal a leadership/followership vibe: you walk at a six-foot pace, ten steps per 15 seconds, those under your (A314) influence walk at a six-foot pace, ten steps per 15 seconds. So, if you want to have the client move into a specific and personal ‘difficult space’ you would need to lead them there … not to YOUR example of a similar difficult space, but directly into that individual’s difficult space. “All right, I’m glad we feel comfortable and confident now, and so I want to go to the matter of Q, and I’m wondering if you can …”

Authentic dialogue would be one way to create that comfort and confidence.

So, I would summarize this theory with this example: if you wear A314 and you try to “arrange the environment” for the client, what’s likely is that your client will try to “arrange the environment” for you. Direct dialogue – the kind of dialogue you would have with a subject who is already in a deep hypnotic trance and who’s subconscious mind is accessible – would be indicated.

And furthermore, I’d suggest you not hesitate to command instead of elicit. You can use verbal commands with politeness and courtesy, of course, e.g.: “Very good, Ryan, now I need you to work out a means for dealing with R.”

So, I think that there are stylistic changes (that involve substantive differnces as well) which you can make that are congruent with the A314 signature, or you can forgo the A314 in some situations.

I don’t think that an alpha male is unaffected by others’ behaviors: that would be the pattern of a numbskull or a boor; rather, the alpha male’s purposes are not derailed by the behavior of others – they are aware of and nimble in making adaptive responses to such behavior.

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i like MarkL’s thoughts on this.

to answer the question directly - yes i do feel more emotionally detached whilst wearing A314. As a female, in a high-stress, highly combative and emotional environment, this is good, because it seems to calm both myself and those i work with down, so there is less agression in general.

But at the same time I’ve found that when i reach out, it does foster trust and reciprocity.

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I think MarkL has many good points in his post, although he answers a somewhat different question than I meant to ask.

…and other people who want to gain rapport with you in your calmness will calm themselves down.

Do you feel you have the same depth and intensity of emotional connection when you reach out? My hypothesis is that you don’t, that instead you have a calmer (perhaps warmer) more relaxed connection. I don’t know if you watch soap operas, but my guess would be that people who do watch them would find them less satisfying under the influence of A314. What do you think?

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i detest soap operas, and have little respect for people who watch them, so I’m prolly not the best person to ask. lol

But yes - i think the calmness is probably at the root of the detachment. I think interest is proportional to intensity of emotional attachment to outcome. (if that makes sense) So, at least to me, it seems to follow that if you are not attached to outcome, since you are calm and detached, you are going to put forth less passion (or intensity).

actually i should take that back. In those instances where i reach out - i do have depth and intensity - and it is reciprocated. But in those situations where i am passively taking it all in, i definitely remain detached.

let me know if you think i totally contradicted myself. i’ll try to explain better.

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Yes, I think A314 makes me less emotional.
Then again TUTH makes me total emotional, like being angry at
somemone for no reason or having fear of a person who just
showed aggressive behaviour towards me.

Sometimes this detachment isnt really helpful.
For example friday a girl in a club took my cigarettes and as I wanted
them back she didn’t believe me they were mine, because I was
so detached from any emotional reaction to her stealing my cigarettes.
Everybody at the table thought I was bullshitting her.

Yes that’s a good point. I think if I am saying “please” it is too much of giving
power away (incongruent with A314) and direct commands may bother the person as unpolite
at a concious level. So indirect commands may work best.

Yeah, I think with A314 you should have a goal in mind and be proactive instead
of reactive. I hope I did understand you right. My experience is, that when I am
using A314 people expect me to make decisions and that’s only possible with a goal
in mind. I will have a look if I am more intense in the moment if I am going after
something specific.

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for me, people just expect that i’ll handle whatever task I’m doing, with no doubts or need to explain or control outsome. But i also find myself more easily able to give orders to others. Not in an “I command you” way, so much as “I’m delegating this to you” kind of way.

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You might find it interesting to read Tyler Durden’s Blueprint + also the new Goleman book on Social Intelligence on the topic of emotional resonance. TD talks lots about the importance of being non-reactive - reasonable theoretical approach, if theory is your bag. It’s pretty interesting to attend to the differences in how very senior people react to challenges and stress compared to those at the bottom of the pecking order.

You might also like to play around with TAK (do a search) - this certainly dampens anxious responses and smells like it’s an important note in A314. I think we have still to explore the full impact of this test mone…

Interesting. How was your tonality and body language?

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I think that horror and disaster movies would be less satisfying. I also hypothesize that long-term A314 users might be less inclined to want to watch them.

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Keep them coming - they have been most interesting :wink:…

Feldenkrais’ spontaneity vs compulsion?

ksage - I would say that A314 seems to reduce sympathy but not empathy. In fact, because one is able to insulate oneself somewhat from emotional contagion it might in fact increase one’s ability to grasp somebody else’s situation.

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That doesn’t work as a model for me. My ability to empathize fully comes in part from being able to feel in me what the other person is feeling. This includes their anxiety. Now if they are freaking out because they are drowning it would be very helpful for me not to empathize with them or take on their freaking out emotions so I can focus on rescuing them (good for leader and protector). On the other hand, if they are freaking out because they just got dumped I find it helpful to take on a little bit of their freaking out to guide me to what I need to do to help them calm down. It seems A314 makes this latter part more difficult for me.

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how about tempering it with some IH?

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I’ve experienced similar effects. The distancing is usually with lower status individuals but if you’re relating as a professional you probably have by default the higher status position, and thus will experience the distancing effects more. I’ve learned to consciously counteract this somewhat, but I do think the a314 lowers my empathy so it does take a conscious effort.

That could work but I suggest using Instant Gentleman to temper the a314. It has been quite effective for me in similar situations. It increases my empathy and consideration.

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I’m looking forward to trying MX134 (a female varaint of A314) and seeing of that works more like what I want, which is to increase my confidence, presence, awareness, empathy, and leadership.

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strangely enough, i don’t notice much wth MX134.

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Hello dahling,

I just joined the club,

and my A-314 is in the mail. As is Mx134. So, what you’re saying is that you like A-314 better? Hmmm, not too masculine for us like they say, then?

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Welcome! I look forward to your sharing your insights. We need a HotMama, it’s kind of cool in here.

Even if there are differences between male and female effects, I suspect we all have things to share about the interpersonal dynamics involved.

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well hey hun! welcome to the club. :stuck_out_tongue:

I do like A314 better - but with one caveat - I like it best when i am pre-ovulatory. very calm, and focused, and I’m able to just “request things get done” as opposed to “give an order”. It also makes me more gracious. as i’ve mentioned to Carrie - i feel like the QE2.

However - post-ovulation - i feel like it’s too heavy. I feel like I’m dragging my sea anchor behind me, and feel ponderous and weighed-down.

That’s when I use the MX134 - but it doesn’t replicate that nice secure feeling i get when A314 is hitting on all 4 cyclinders. I think the general respect from others stays the same, but I don’t feel the same.

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Thank you, Mr. Gable.

I feel like a fourth-grader in a secret club! Oh Boy!:smiley:

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Does A314 lessen emotional sensitivity? Comparison with MX134

Following up.

I use A314 regularly and it works in boosting my self-confidence and generally making me calmer, more relaxed, and more grounded. Interactions with others go more smoothly and have less drama. This is great when that’s what I want, but of course when I go out to party, I don’t want to feel relaxed and grounded so much, I want to feel excited and a little wild. Likewise when I’m doing creative work I want to be more emotionally open and more easily affected.

For that I’ve been playing with some of the women’s MXs. MX134 seems to work better than A314 in that way: I still feel secure, but I feel more open emotionally, more flowy. MX135 (which I haven’t tried much because I can’t stand the chocolatini scent) gives me a much more playful and frisky feeling. I’m looking forward to doing more testing with MX235, which is MX135 with a different fragrance.

Meanwhile, I suggest that if you want to maintain a large emotional range, you try MX134 instead of A314.