15 Februrary 2008
I visited three clients tonight. Much food for thought.
After washing my hair I applied a little bit more than two spray of Instant Openness (1x strength 30ml bottle): one to the wrists, and one and a bit to my hair. The sloppy dosing (2 and a bit - was probably nearer 3) is due once again to being unfamiliar with the bottle, and wondering ‘was that really a full shot?’. Silly - I’ll learn eventually.
That was about 4pm. The first meeting was at 6pm, so I should have waited a bit, since by the time of the last meeting, the 6 hours dose duration was beginning to elapse (and the effects seemed less strong).
During the first meeting, it’s possible that the client was more chatty than usual, but I couldn’t be sure it was significant. What I did notice - again - was the self-effect. It was similar to yesterday, but this time (and in the following meeting), it was a specific enough - and unusual enough - feeling that I now feel more confident in identifying it as a self-effect to the IO. Also, it wasn’t so present in the final meeting, which might be attributed to the effect wearing off after approximately 6 hours.
The self-effect initially didn’t seem to be quite what I’d expect from IO, but on reflection, it makes sense. Basically, I felt more confident in directing the meeting, and more able to answer any challenging questions. Not once did I have any negative thoughts, or felt that the things I said were inadequate (this usually doesn’t seriously bother me, but I can often feel such thoughts lurking somewhere). The ‘solidness’ of this confidence which is a very specific and unfamiliar feeling - if a subtle one - combined with the fact that it happened both yesterday and today, make it pretty clear what the cause of it is.
Although not immediately obvious, I think these effects do have something to do with the reported effects of Instant Openness. Basically, my inhibitions to speaking (which I experience as uncertainty and a potential lack of confidence) are removed.
I was also in a very good mood for the whole evening, which mightn’t have been the pheromones themselves, but my reaction to feeling more confident, etc.
The second and third meetings were very similar, except that the self-effects were less pronounced. The interesting thing is that with the last client I normally feel completely relaxed and in control and competent, and I did this time too - but I was also aware that the pheromone component of the confidence was weaker. In other words, if I’m not hallucinating, the effect of the pheromones feels like a particular thing, has a particular taste. I’m sure of this, because although it’s quite subtle, I’ve never felt it before these experiments started.
Some other things which didn’t strike me at the time, but on reflection seem interesting.
Pushing through a crowded tram to get off, muttering ‘sorry’, I heard one guy - seemingly a young guy, not some ultra-polite old man - say in response… let’s translate it as ‘you’re welcome’. I hadn’t even looked at the guy, and I didn’t know who exactly had said it, at the time. I don’t remember that happening before, and it might make sense that some random bystander’s tongue was loosened in this way, but it’s also possible that I heard it because I was looking (listening) for hits.
Thia last one seems quite impressive in retrospect. The second client (a girl) and the third (a guy) share an apartment, and I visited them there. I meet them separately, in that order (her, him). With both these clients we usually discuss a text - that is, we use the text as a starting-point for discussing various aspects of grammar, vocab, pronunciation, etc. In theory we can use a free-form chat to do the same thing, but using a text is more reliable. Anyway, she had a text ready, although it was one that she wasn’t so interested in (I knew from the subject - it was more his style). Contrary to the plan, she suggested that we not use the text and just chat. Looking back, it seems obvious why…
Here’s the impressive thing. When I went to him, he hadn’t got a text, and I pointed out that if he wanted a text that would be right up his street, we could we the text from his friend. He said ok, went and got it, read it with interest… and then said… uh, maybe we’ll just chat.
Wow. That’s never happened before, with either of them 
Tomorrow, I’ll try 3 shots. I’ve a long meeting with one client in the evening.
. I dove into new topic with less consideration and planning than usual.
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