I am a 40 year old married male(12 years, 2 kids). My wife is a survivor of childhood abuse and intimacy (of any kind) between us is mostly a hazy dream of the past. I’ve done more than I imagine any person reasonably would, and despite therapy all around I fear that been sliding into that desperately needed father role for her, but due to recent careful efforts our relationship has rebounded somewhat. It’s at a very fragile point where all gains could be easily lost, or used as a stepping stone.
I’ve long been skeptical, and don’t expect anyone but me to do the heavy lifting, but a bit of pheromone help with this wouldn’t go amiss, if that’s even possible. My expectations aren’t super high, as I know even to move the needle at all I’m essentially asking for voodoo. I am concerned that she’s well aware of my pheromone profile to start with. Recommendations would be welcome. Thanks!
Hi Tim,
Welcome to this forum.
There seems to be multiple aspects to your situation. Of course, no mone is gonna act as a magic wand to cure your lady’s harsh past, but reading you, I think you’re conscious of that. I feel you can improve things on a few different fields which are all important in any serious long-term relationship couple: Communication, Trust and Intimacy. The first two are of paramount importance before you attack the third one.
To establish a deep trust and maybe make her open up to you, use IHonesty. This is a great one to establish a deep level of conversation. She’ll probably tell you things she’s never said before and that could help her in the healing process. Be supportive, be caring, show her that not all man are ugly bastards and I believe it’s step one. I don’t usually suggest putatives to newbies, but your peculiar situation might benefit a lot from P96 to help with the emotional connectivity. Just remember to wear IH on your hands or wrists, you want to maximize effects on others and not self-effects, not that you’ll want to play games, but it’s usually better that way. You could also get your hands on some iShine, it is a mood booster that will be useful both for you and her. Feeling good around you will help her open up to you. Also, IGentleman would be helpful for you to appear wise, mature and reliable for her. It will help her feel safe with the man you are. It can also help you resist anger in your discussions and keep a cold head.
Later, regarding intimacy, I suggest starting with the communication route eventually. Try and see what kind of intimacy she’s ready to try. Go slow, don’t push, be loving. You got to start somewhere, but she has a healing process to go through. In your case, I wouldn’t touch TUTH or anything like that. Maybe you could stock some Ammo to try and help attraction. But remember, step one first.
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Thank you much! Especially the caution not to go for the end run 
Also, since you have kids, you can tell your wife that it’s important for her to heal in order for them to have a positive outlook on love and relationship in general and that you’re there to help her with that as well. That’s not ‘‘playing games’’, that’s so legitimate for any parent to want that. Maybe she’s just not realizing that the negativity can get to them.
Much appreciated. Yep, I’m doing what I can with all of this and I don’t want to diverge, but there is untold darkness out there.. the numbers on childhood abuse are staggering and lots of people simply don’t ever get better even as they convince themselves they’re past it, sabotaging every close relationship they have. Once the pretense is gone you just kinda have to see it for what it is. And equip yourself by any means necessary.
Hello Tim,
Welcome to the site and commend you for sharing your story as you are certainly not alone. A great place to start is the Men’s Ultimate Kit as you would get everything to try as it is all about experimenting. This way you don’t have to guess if you got the right stuff. I will still list the ones I think that will help you the most. I know Conjurator got it right for you and will just try to help and add to his advice.
IH This for you will be worth it’s weight in gold. This will promote bonding and deep conversations. Plus this should help get her true feelings out of her which is what you need to be able to know how to deal with everything. So for you right now this should be your top priority is this one for sure.
IO If she is kind of closed off or an introvert this should help out to open her up a little more and at least get her talking more.
IS This should put her in a good mood and will boost your confidence. What I like about this one is it goes very well for so much more like work, family gatherings, and so on as I have found it safe for every possible environment.
I know you did not mention any attraction or sexual, but think you will still at least need something because you still want that attraction there and not just the Dad vibe you described so for this I suggest
Ammo This is a very nice cologne and for attraction to. Very balanced and this is a great standalone. Plus it even has a pheromone for comfort/talking which is perfect for your wife. Good for day use to like going to get a cup of coffee.
Good Luck and if I can help in anyway just let me know.
Thanks, Justin. You both have given me plenty to think about. Just looking to start simple and steer things in a healthy direction. Considering that survivors often depend upon broken intuitions to the detriment of the rational mind, I’ve wondered how much effect mones might have in encouraging the openness required that will enable them (and us) to heal. We know so little about the intricacies of how those ‘intuitive’ decisions are made. If I can make some headway, I know a lot more folks in my position that would benefit from even a small amount of help… and I’m more than willing to be the guinea pig for all our sakes.
By the way, the gift certificate will be issued to you by email by one of the forum moderators, it usually takes a few days.