My name is Adam. I’m 31 from NY. My wife and I have been married for 7 years and our sex life has taken a turn for the worse. If we get intimate twice a month that’s allot. I know 2 young children, a job and life in general will have a negative impact on a woman’s libido but I truly believe there is something wrong with her sex drive. Even when the kids are asleep and we are all alone or better yet when we are the only ones home I cant get her into the mood. She is VERY self conscious about her weight (maybe 40-50 pounds over weight) but it doesn’t bother me at all. I’m not saying I’m going to leave my wife over this but it is a big issue that needs resolving. She was so adventurous until just a few years ago. It wasn’t until our second son was born that thing started slowing down.
Any help to point me in the right direction will be much appreciated!
I’m reading an Article in “Geo” Magazine (a German Version of “National Geographic”) It has loads of great info in it!
Open on my desk at the moment is an interesting Article that states that in relationships, both parties are constantly keeping an internal accounting ledger. they state that there is a “magic formula” of 5 to 1 where each time you fail to acknowledge your partner you have to give 5 acknowledgements to wipe the slate clean… this is the small stuff in a relationship: Laughing at each others jokes, pouring her the coffee, keeping eye contact, paying attention when she tells you about her day… the less this takes place the more you drift apart and go your separate ways.
Do you both work? Is she home alone with the kids all day? Realize she is expending a great deal of energy trying to run the house and take care of the kids. She needs a romantic break from it. Pheromones will most likely not help the situation until an honest discussion takes place. Guys tend to forget just how demanding life can be for a woman. She must multitask everyday and that can be exhausting. Good luck.
We BOTH work from home. Our youngest is home with us MOST of the time. My older son goes to school. My wife had MAJOR complications while delivering our youngest son. The doctors told us that it would take 6-12 months to tell if her hormone levels would ever be normal again because of the multiple full body blood transfusions. That was two and a half years ago. Whether or not her hormones are out of whack I was hoping that by enhancing things on my end with pheromones we may be able to resume things in the bedroom where we left off years ago.
You have a serious situation on your hands but many men here have had some difficulties in that area and can offer some great advice. When I read your post Bossy came to mind. He is a great contributor and member on this forum and he has some threads that will greatly assist you.
Women and men make up are different and so many things affect us women that causes us to loose our libido. We attach so many things to sex , emotions especially. Right now she feels unattractive and so many other things.
You guys work from home so I suggest going away for a bit. A change of environment where you can show her just how much you still love and desire her and away from all the distractions and responsibility.
I suggest Instant gentleman to make your wife look at you like that sexy, suave guy who she can depend on. Turn up the heat for when you guys are getting closer and you want to get her to that point.
Instant honesty for intimacy. She will feel closer to you and that she can talk to you about anything and that is always a good thing.
Be patient and work at it. Where there is a will there is a way.
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