Married Guys Looking to Help Life at Home

[bosshank]

Myself: Mid-40’s, athletic, married for 20+ years.

This post is actually a combination of posts I have made in the Introductions section. It is designed for married guys looking to use the pheromone products here to help things at home.

I use pheromones for several purposes - work, social and to enhance life at home.

I use multiple approaches especially for home:

First - at this point in our lives we know sexual attraction is not the final answer. So my first recommendation is actually what we call the social products. Instant Honesty is my personal favorite. Good communications are key in any relationship and we also know women equate good communications to caring to emotional closeness to emotional intimacy which can lead to physical intimacy. If you have your doubts, read EnchantedApril’s comments in this thread. IH in particular will help this as the beta nols both facilitate deep conversation and create a feeling of emotional closeness. Instant Shine will help her feel happy to be around you. IO helps generate general conversation if you need that from time to time. IFM can help her relax at the end of a bad day, during that time of month or enough to discuss anything a little sensitive. But my favorite is IH.

Then, during the evenings or on weekends, I use Ammo when I am around the wife. It is a balanced product but it has enough 'none in it to remind her I am very interested. You can always add in any of the socials or MXes to fine tune the mix and the effects …

Next, on special occassions, date nights, or at the end of the evening I will throw in some TUTH to create a spark or fan a spark into …

Finally, during the day for work I use A314 usually combined with IH. (It also works well with Instant Shine.) I mention this because not only is it great for work but one of the ladies (Phernoob) here in the forum said she got some for her husband for work but the alpha vibe it gave him also created a “spark” at home that certainly helped things in the romance arena in this thread. I alternate the A314 with Instant Gentleman. It gives you a cool/smooth vibe but it also seems to have a funny secondary effect: if you are young it makes you seem a little older. If you are older it makes you seem a little younger. Basically whatever they wearer seems to interpret as cooler/better age-wise - that is the impression they get of you.

There is one more thing to be aware of: sometimes long-term spouses who know our phero-signature well do not always react well to a change in our phero-signature. Reactions can range from the funny like the wife who jumped/fell out of bed when her husband came to bed wearing 2-3 sprays of TUTH for the first time, to mild irritation (my and a couple other users’ moms) to slight puzzlement and suspicion (my wife and Tisha’s huband).

At first I did not tell my wife that I was using pheromones. When I first started using them she would look at me funny - she could tell something was different but could not put her finger on it. (Tisha said her husband reacted the samebut then got used to it after a couple weeks.) Often when women sense a major change in their spouse the first thing they think is … another woman. I could tell by her reactions and a couple comments that she thought … maybe … so I was very purposeful to ensure her I had eyes for only her: flowers for no special reason, date nights, etc. Now in some cases the reaction may be more like irritation, but mostly I have heard that coming from someone’s mom (like mine or LaurieNY’s).

She did notice the bottles but I keep them with my colognes and just acted as if they were colognes. At a certain point she did ask what they were. I told her and framed it in terms of aromatherapy designed to improve our relationship. Which is true. And that went over quite well. She probably still thinks its one of those crazy things I do but knowing I am doing it on behalf of our relationship so that is OK. Remember the flowers and “date night” things above.

[Denied]

I agree totaly.

The bottles are a little problem. But after a few orders most of you will have 2-4 Togo Bottles. I removed the label and wrote “Hugo Boss” or “Cool Water” on them. I went to perfumery and collected a few free samples of the products i wrote on the togo bottels. Then i refilled the most importend Home Use Products to the togo bottles…

I first drop 1-3 drops of the Sample to the togo bottle.
In a 5ml togo bottle its more or less just for the scent.

(Hugo Boss) Instant Honesty 4x
(Aqua di Gio) Instant Female Magic
(Irish Tweed) Turn Up The Heat
(Unsomethingiddontremember) P83
(Cool Water) MX203

I would suggest to take unscented versions with double Strength so you can mix it with cologne samles 1:1
I didn´t … now everything smells like neroli with xxx. But my wife doesn´t recognice the difference between cool water and Aqua di Gio after 20 mins on my skin, so i don´t care.

i have to copy that in my journal…

Back to topic.
I had/have an issue with my wife here too. 4 years married, 2 children good and healthy relationship but almost no sex life.
It´s a good relationship, becourse we don´t argue, we often talk, we love each other and we are a perfect team. It´s just that one point missing.

I did very much the same a bosshank and at first i thought my wife is completly immune to Pheromones. She behaved normal whatever i tried.
We discussed our problem, what was very importent. Then we checked everything what could probably lower her libido.

1. She stopped takeing hormone based contraceptives. She was talking depo.
2. We are planning more time together without kids.
3. I started with Pheromones. But i realised that this takes time soon. And that Pheromones are just a little helper.

The first real successful hit was with Ammo at first and adding Turn Up The Heat when going to bed after a romantic evening.

[bosshank]

@Denied

We discussed our problem, what was very importent.

Good communication is THE key to any long term relationship. Please repeat until memorized.

That is why I started the product list with the social products - to improve/increase communication as this is absoulutely critical to avoid any problems and to solve any problems that may exist.

I cannot over-emphasize that for women communication is the same as caring and emotional closeness or intimacy.

@Denied

1. She stopped takeing hormone based contraceptives. She was talking depo.

This is a biggie along with a lot of anti-depressents. Also there was an article I read - not sure if it is posted in the Abstracts and Studies portions but I think it is - that dealt with the fact that contraceptives work by tricking woman’s body into thinking it is already pregnant so she does not ovulate. The authors noted that the sense of smell of pregnant women often “changes” - ie what smells good or bad - or is often hightened. Their study (very small numbers) suggested that women on contraceptives had their sense of smell change radically enough that their man who smelled naturally “right or sexy” did not smell that way anymore. Likewise women who were on the “pill” when they met their SO stated he did not smell “right” anymore once they went off the “pill”. Interesting but again VERY small numbers in the study.

@Denied

12. We are planning more time together without kids.

Cannot over-emphaisze this one too much either. You two need time to reconnect as a couple. Date nights - even if it is just to go out for a coffee and to do some shopping without the kids - are a must.

Also - it can be hard on women given the many roles they have to fulfill: good wholesome mom, romantic lover, etc.. Sometimes it is hard to emotionally be both or reconcile both roles. Some women also feel that they are having to meet so many needs in so many directions - like they are constantly “in demand” and getting sucked dry energy-wise.

Guys often can compartmentalize their lives better than women so shifting from good worker to good dad to good lover can be easier. Then you have to consider that after a couple kids in a short time she may be flat out tired (in a reproductive as well as daily sense) and worried about getting pregnant again. Preganancy, birth and early child-rearing are not easy.

@Denied

3. I started with Pheromones. But i realised that this takes time. Pheromones are just a little helper..

Yes - relationships take time and even with the pheromones they will always be 90% you and 10% pheromones.

@Denied

The first real successful hit was with Ammo at first and adding Turn Up The Heat when going to bed after a romantic evening.

But the real success came after the prep work - communication, time together in a romantic evening - then she was emotionally ready and responsive to you and the pheromone message.

[Wolfy]

@bosshank

This is a biggie along with a lot of anti-depressents. Also there was an article I read - not sure if it is posted in the Abstracts and Studeis portions but I think it is - that dealt with the fact that contraceptives work by tricking woman’s body into thinking it is already pregnant so she does not ovulate. The authors noted that the sense of smell of pregnant women often “changes” - ie what smells good or bad - or is often ehightened. Their study (very small numbers) suggested that women on contraceptives had their sense of smell change radically enough that their man who smelled naturally “right or sexy” did not smell that way anymore. Likewise women who were on the “pill” when they met their So stated he did not smell “right” anymore once they went off the “pill”. Interesting but again VERY small numbers in the study.

This is because a lot of the Contraceptive Hormones are the same hormones produced during pregnancy, (typically in just enough doses to prevent pregnancy.

Just because you are both sleeping in the same bed does not mean automatic sex, you still have to do the little things to make her happy, before you make it to bed.
Help with the dishes, leave the toilet seat down, take out the trash or other tasks you can do without being told.

[bosshank]

@woofie2

This is because a lot of the Contraceptive Hormones are the same hormones produced during pregnancy,

Right - that is how they trick the body into thinking it is already pregnant so no ovulation occurs.

@woofie2

Just because you are both sleeping in the same bed does not mean automatic sex, you still have to do the little things to make her happy, before you make it to bed.

Right - romancing her begins LOOOOONG before you hit the sheets.

@woofie2

Help with the dishes, leave the toilet seat down, take out the trash or other tasks you can do without being told.

Another great point. You are a team - operate as one. Be proactive. And the proactive part works well in every aspect of life. Do what needs to be done without having to be told.

[mac]

I’m new to this forum and Androtics, but have some experience of these things from my single days(!). This is an extremely valuable thread, not just to those married guys, but of course to those guys in or trying to forge long term relationships.

This is my first post so let me begin by saying that the points made above are great.

It seems to me:

• Everybody likes to be made to feel special, perhaps be being with someone they perceive as being special
• Longterm relationships and routine can make you forget how to have fun so an ‘ice’ forms over the couple

Although you might feel very familiar with someone like a spouse, you might not feel as comfortable as you might expect if things have been difficult recently, even after a few years. You also might not perceive them or be perceived as being particularly special - ‘familiarity breeds…’

I added all this up and chose Instant Openness over the ubiquitous Instant Shine.

Within the hour wifey et moi were upstairs and we weren’t tiling the bathroom.

(btw - She didn’t really like the smell, but looked for it on me when she left for work this morning, saying she felt good and thought I was wearing it!)

It seems to me that if there’s a natural chemistry there, a bit of relaxation and fun will more effectively do the job of a -none. I’ve ordered some, of course, for scientific purposes, as the sexlife has previously been AWOL for 9 months, but I don’t expect to use it much. Knowing my wife, to her the smell will be acute. I’m also going to try Instant Female Magic for the obvious reasons.

My initial impressions are that it’s easy to try and create a full suite of pheromones when really what one needs is to complement what is already there?

I also conclude that IS makes me a bit high and I love it. Couldn’t sleep at all last night though…???

[bosshank]

@mac

This is an extremely valuable thread, not just to those married guys, but of course to those guys in or trying to forge long term relationships..

Glad you like it and find it helpful. That was the whole reason for starting it.

@mac

This is my first post so let me begin by saying that the points made above are great.

It seems to me:

• Everybody likes to be made to feel special, perhaps be being with someone they perceive as being special
• Longterm relationships and routine can make you forget how to have fun so an ‘ice’ forms over the couple

Although you might feel very familiar with someone like a spouse, you might not feel as comfortable as you might expect if things have been difficult recently, even after a few years. You also might not perceive them or be perceived as being particularly special - ‘familiarity breeds…’

I added all this up and chose Instant Openness over the ubiquitous Instant Shine..

@mac

Within the hour wifey et moi were upstairs and we weren’t tiling the bathroom..

Good for the both of you!

@mac

(btw - She didn’t really like the smell, but looked for it on me when she left for work this morning, saying she felt good and thought I was wearing it!).

@mac

It seems to me that if there’s a natural chemistry there, a bit of relaxation and fun will more effectively do the job of a -none.

Correct - the ladies stress that in their posts.

I’ve ordered some, of course, for scientific purposes,

Of course - that is my purpose too …
as the sexlife has previously been AWOL for 9 months, but I don’t expect to use it much. Knowing my wife, to her the smell will be acute. I’m also going to try Instant Female Magic for the obvious reasons.

@mac

My initial impressions are that it’s easy to try and create a full suite of pheromones when really what one needs is to complement what is already there?

That is a very sensible approach. Many of us have tried that but all this fun can be addicting.

@mac

I also conclude that IS makes me a bit high and I love it. Couldn’t sleep at all last night though…???

Some users have reported that at first but it seems to pas quickly.

[bosshank]

@mac

This is an extremely valuable thread, not just to those married guys, but of course to those guys in or trying to forge long term relationships.

Glad you like it and find it helpful. That was the whole reason for starting it.

@mac

This is my first post so let me begin by saying that the points made above are great.

Thank you again.

@mac

I added all this up and chose Instant Openness over the ubiquitous Instant Shine. Within the hour wifey et moi were upstairs and we weren’t tiling the bathroom.

Good for the both of you!

@mac

(btw - She didn’t really like the smell, but looked for it on me when she left for work this morning, saying she felt good and thought I was wearing it!)

My wife picked up on the scent too at first but she has not said anything for a while. So I guess she has gotten used to it. I also found it helped if she did not a whiff of it for the first 10 minutes or so after application until it dried down and the scent died down some.

@mac

It seems to me that if there’s a natural chemistry there, a bit of relaxation and fun will more effectively do the job of a -none.

Correct - the ladies stress that in their posts.

@mac

I’ve ordered some, of course, for scientific purposes,

Of course - that is my purpose too …

@mac

as the sexlife has previously been AWOL for 9 months,

Ouch - but at least that does not seem to be a problem any more cowboy.

@mac

but I don’t expect to use it much. Knowing my wife, to her the smell will be acute.

Again - let it dry down some before exposing it to her. My wife has a sensitive nose too but this is the strategy - other than her getting used to it - that has worked well for me. It has what I call a spicy cologne scent. Not really bad at all but noticeable at first.

@mac

I’m also going to try Instant Female Magic for the obvious reasons.

Great product.

@mac

My initial impressions are that it’s easy to try and create a full suite of pheromones when really what one needs is to complement what is already there?

That is a very sensible approach. Many of us have tried that but all this fun can be addicting.

@mac

I also conclude that IS makes me a bit high and I love it. Couldn’t sleep at all last night though…???

Some users have reported that at first but it seems to pass quickly.

[mac]

Hi folks - are those of us shackled in wedded bliss convinced that pheromones really make a great deal of difference?

I think they have an effect, but only in specific areas. As pheromones are simply a means of subliminal communication, in most situations for most of the day, communication and understanding between two people in a LTR are so established already that pheromones are insignificant?

In other areas where subliminal communication methods are of heightened importance, i.e. where mood becomes more of a factor then pheromones seem to do their stuff.

I can only really testify to pheromones being of use in two situations within the context of being married and being with my wife:

• specifically in the bar when we were physically close, not restaurant seated across a table, where Instant Openness and IS gives a fun time
• in bed where A314 and IO gave a real ‘edge’

I’m not getting any interest from the -nones, specifically Ammo and Turn Up The Heat. I wonder whether even in my advanced years I’m still pumping these out naturally.

I’m sorry to say Instant Female Magic is a complete washout.

The scents are really getting in the way. After 7 years we’ve both found scents that we individually like on ourselves and on each other and they’re a world apart from Neroli. Insofar as i can, I’m going to have to get the unscented and mix up with my own aftershave.

I reiterate what I said before about complementing ourselves rather than trying to create something from scratch. Personally -stenol alpha complements me well and a bit of A314 doesn’t help, TAA is fun for everyone, but the -nones…

Thoughts?

[Denied]

IFM is good here. First, i don´t smell neroli … it is somethin light critus scented i think. Ans it works here pretty good. Ok we don´t need more comfort aft er 10 years (4 years married) but it it is a cool thing to have while she has her days. And it is cool when she is upset or angry becourse i forgot to do something or else. Then it calms her down, to a level where i can talk out and everbody is still happy. Relaxed.

…i think i should go shopping now…

[mac]

@Denied

Instant Female Magic is good here. First, i don´t smell neroli … it is somethin light critus scented i think. Ans it works here pretty good. Ok we don´t need more comfort aft er 10 years (4 years married) but it it is a cool thing to have while she has her days. And it is cool when she is upset or angry becourse i forgot to do something or else. Then it calms her down, to a level where i can talk out and everbody is still happy. Relaxed.

…i think i should go shopping now…

Excellent - I like to read posts like that.

As regards IFM, I’ve tried it alone, tried it layered, tried it weak and tried it strong. I’ve masked it, I’ve left it alone. I’ve just been told I smell like an old people’s home. I’ve got to laugh. I’ve got to bath!

Cheers,

m,

[Flirt]

Thank god im not any of ur wives ! if i saw aqua di gio labelled on a bottle , i’d spray it on my toy bunny i hug to sleep cause i adore the smell of it
i can’t imagine my Toy Bunny Making me Horny all night !

[Denied]

Then Spray your Toy Bunny with:
3 sprays Instant Sexyness A x 5 copulins
2 Turn Up The Heat
2 P83 /15mcg

[jonno101]

I’m envious of all you married guys whose wives actually like to communicate

My wife (of chinese origin) keeps it all in and doesn’t like to talk. I too started with pheros to help bring some intimacy - reconnection, but if she wants to keep it all bootled in, it seems there’s little anyone can do.

We’re beyond help (especially as I’ve now let go). 10 years of “oh it’s just me” can do that to a man.
:o

But back to the point…I wholeheartedley agree - it’s about communications about everything and then everything else flows from that understanding, that sharingbetween 2 people. My offerings would be Instant Honesty and Instant Shine at first.

Initially you want to re-secure rapport (from both sides) - us men need to open up too. Then wherever that takes you is fine. Enjoy the moment, enjoy the journey not the destination (woah, that’s pretty Zen from me ).

You might not even need the pheros after re-connecting.

WARNING GUYS: I say this because if you do not/cannot re-establish the reconnection reasonably quick enough (or one side doesn’t want to), sometimes the feeling can go - as quickly as it came. Maybe if I’d come across Androtics earlier things could have been different? But after 10 years of indifference…

Like they say “If you love someone, set them free…”

…I guess she never was ‘mine’

[mac]

@Flirt

Thank god im not any of ur wives ! if i saw aqua di gio labelled on a bottle , i’d spray it on my toy bunny i hug to sleep cause i adore the smell of it
i can’t imagine my Toy Bunny Making me Horny all night !

You bought the wrong bunny

[MarriedGuy]

Married; wife is on Prozac

I have been married for almost 4 years, and my wife is on Prozac, which lowers her libido. What pheromones can help?

[mac]

I’m sure you’ll get guys (and hopefully girls) responding that IFM is great etc. but it didn’t work for me on my wife.

Personally, things have been good with A314 IO and IS. I sometimes try and sneak in a bit of TUTH but it doesn’t make a huge difference.

The A314 IO and IS create a more fun atomsphere with me at the helm so sex is more likely for the sake of intimacy, rather than any latent animal desire she might have that TUTH will play on (and which I haven’t seen for a while!)

Two things that I personally know kill libido for some women are Prozac and the contraceptive pill. Mix in a bit of alcohol and it all gets a bit nutty and no pheromone is going to work.

My only suggestion is to have a bit of fun together and not try and turn her into a randy sex machine, as nice as it would be.

Good luck.

[Warren]

@MarriedGuy

I have been married for almost 4 years, and my wife is on Prozac, which lowers her libido. What pheromones can help?

Find a competent doctor who treats the causes of your wife’s problems rather than just the symptoms. Prozac is a synthetic chemical. Nobody has a Prozac deficiency.

If her age is similar to yours, she may be dealing with premenopausal symptoms which revolve around decreasing progesterone and relatively high estrogen. Read John R. Lee’s books. Or maybe you know that it is something else.

If it is genuinely believed that she is deficient in serotonin, try serotonin precursors such as L-tryptophane or 5HTP.

A healthy person has a strong sex drive. Find a treatment that is good for her rather than just convenient for the medical industrial complex.

[mac]

@Warren

A healthy person has a strong sex drive

Hi Warren - good post on the menopause (not that I know anything about it), but what is the basis for stating the above - are you suggesting that this applies to all healthy people?

Cheers,

m,

[Bella]

I’ma put my nickel in here.

@Warren

Find a competent doctor who treats the causes of your wife’s problems rather than just the symptoms. Prozac is a synthetic chemical. Nobody has a Prozac deficiency.

Afreakin’men.

@Warren

If it is genuinely believed that she is deficient in serotonin, try serotonin precursors such as L-tryptophane or 5HTP.

Along with the ones you mention Warren…Sam-e…is an excellent anti-depressant. Search it. It’s worth the time and effort…it works. Most anti-depressants don’t work very well. Yes, they do for some people but not the majority. SSRI’s, like Prozac and Zoloft don’t cross the blood brain barrier and they must do so to effectively raise serotonin levels in the brain. So, how effective can they really be? I know one person who takes these that has actually improved. One. The others are off and on these dreadful chemicals like IDK what. This dose that dose from one to the other. It’s a freakin’ mess. One of my GF’s took zoloft…my God…she was in a haze…nothing phased her after that…she didn’t care or give a sh*t about anything. It’s like she numbed out and ceased feeling. Scared me.

@Warren

If her age is similar to yours, she may be dealing with*** premenopausal symptoms*** which revolve around decreasing progesterone and relatively high estrogen.*** Read John R. Lee’s books.*** Or maybe you know that it is something else.

His books are an excellent reference. I’ve read his and many others. He advocates physiological doses of natural bio identical hormones, progesterone in particular. An excellent replacement for Premarin and the lot of synthetic hormones which are formulated from mare piss…and promoted and prescriped by the majority of physicians. There’s a world of difference between natural bio identical hormones and synthetic ones. Synthetically derived hormones bombard the body with a myriad of attendant side effects. They do not meet the receptors in the proper way, hence the side effects. These dangerous chemicals can’t be properly assimilated…the body doesn’t know how to rid itself of these toxic substances. OTOH natural bio identical hormones are exactly that…they meet the receptors perfectly, identically therefore the body recognizes them and they are properly assimilated. Get thine wife to a physician who’s not only knowledgeable about bio identical hormones…but is willing to prescripe them. You can buy natural bio identical progesterone over the counter. Other bio identical hormones, such as estrogen, testosterone and DHEA must be prescribed by a physician. It’s important to get hormone levels checked as the dosage is different depending on the age of the woman and individual needs. Be warned that your medical insurance will probably not cover these. There’s no money to be made for the doctors or pharmaceutical industry from these naturally derived hormones. In order for them to profit these “drugs” must be patented. That requires chemical alteration of said “natural” product. Yes, they’re becoming more aware of patient demand for these products. Still. it’s an uphill climb. But worth the effort if you can find a knowledgeable physician who will comply. Finding a compounding pharmacy in your area may be even more difficult, but there are mail order pharmacies that can do the job.

@Warren

A healthy person has a strong sex drive. Find a treatment that is good for her rather than just convenient for the medical industrial complex.

Despite what people may think about stimulating sexual arousal in themselves and others…truth is it’s basically all upstairs…in your own head. That’s what she’s really gotta work on. Ya can throw anything ya want at it and a lot of it…but it starts there. I posted an interesting article about it in the Abstracts section. If it wasn’t so late/eary I’d dig it up for ya. What’s wonderful is that you’re doing what you can to help her through this rollercoaster time in your life together. What a way to show the woman you love how much you care for her. Frankly, I think there should be a pot of gold waitin’ for you guys somewhere along the line.

Bella

Edit: Now that I’m conscious…I added the link. - https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-chemistry-of-desire/11973