but i just wanted to say MERRY CHRISTMAS*to each of you and wish you all the best for the new year!
many thanks to androtics for all of the great stuff including this forum and thanks to each of the members here for helping to make it the best. happy holidays from a happy pappy!!!
*ducks and runs from the PC police
Yea, Josef, that was pretty risque.
I’d be worried if I were you. 
Merry Christm..er..Holidays to you too!..I don’t wanna upset the pc police either. 
Merry Christmas to you Josef and everyone. I don’t think the PC police are very much in evidence this year. Looks to me like the tougher retail environment is encouraging a lot of traditional “Merry Christmas, please please buy something this year” advertising from some of the big box guys who were walking on eggs just a year or two ago.
I do want to wish everyone a Happy Holiday whatever tradition you hail from!
To quote the great man Bart Simpson.
" Christmas is the time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Santa Claus"
PC police be damned, I’m white, heterosexual, christian, capitalist and proud of it.
To anyone who is of a different persuasion, ethnicity or belief, I won’t force my beliefs down your neck and would ask that you extend me the same courtesy, that way, we just may be able to function as a global society without resorting to violence or oppression. Live and let live folks and happy holidays!
I’m expecting a HAPPY KWANZA thread… if i don’t have one posted by someone else in the next 2 days… i will wish diarhea upon all of you!!!
ehehehehehe
Merry Christmas all! look for my “christmas lights” thread in a little bit…
~Haz~
And a big Merry Christmas back to you and to all. A pox on the PC police.
I hate all this “season’s greetings” stuff. What does that mean? “Hello, Summer!” (or Winter, for those of you in the northern hemisphere)? I stick my tongue out at those who wish to emasculate my beloved English language and replace it with meaningless weasel phrases, thus:
Oh, and have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year. Or else!
Happy whatever you want… especially if you give me gifts!
merry christmas!!! i dont think anyone likes the police
Knowing you all is going to make this upcoming Christmas a little bit brighter for me.. Merry Christmas, Happy holidays everyone!
Merry christmas. Hopefully the shopping will not begin on the 23rd as it did last year.
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Hey Everybody…
Wishing you all the best this holiday season. Thank you for such a warm welcome into this community. You have all been great. Look forward to many more stories and many, many more laughs.
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HO HO HO from the Lizard
Merry Christmas, one and all!
My little cousin sent me this:
Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.
See the PC Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
It might hurt people’s feelings, the teachers would
say
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and
credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.
As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears
You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your
ears.
Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started..
So as you celebrate ‘Winter Break’ under your ‘Dream
Tree’
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS ,
not Happy Holiday!*
You know, I say happy holidays not because I’m anti Christmas, but because there are a lot more holidays in December than Christmas, and I want to be inclusive. Besides Christmas and Winter Solstice (Tisha) there are:
Long list of holidays and special days celebrated in December 2008. By popular request, here is a long list of all of the special days celebrated in December.
Hi Neighbor Month
National Stress Free Family Holiday Month
Read A New Book Month
Universal Human Rights Month
Write to a Friend Month
Eat A Red Apple Day
National Pie Day
Rosa Park’s Day
Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus in 1955.
National Noodle Ring Day
UNICEF Anniversary
Established in 1946.
December 12th
Boston Tea Party Anniversary
In 1773.
Ludwig Von Beethoven’s Birthday
A Famous Composer born in 1770.
National Chocolate Covered Anything Day
National Pumpkin Pie Day
National Whiners Day
December 1st-7th Cookie Cutter Week
December 8th-19th Operation Santa Paws Week
1 Rosa Parks Day (anniversary of Park’s 1955 arrest)
1 National Pie Day
1 Eat a Red Apple Day
2 National Fritters Day
2 First artificial heart transplant (1982)
2 National Roof-Over-Your-Head Day (to focus attention on homeless)
3 International Day of Disabled Persons
4 Wear Brown Shoes Day
5 Mozart’s Birthday (born in 1756)
5 Bathtub Party Day
5 Birth Anniversary of Walt Disney (1901-1967)
6 National Gazpacho Day
6 National Mitten Tree Day
6 Saint Nicolas Feast Day
6 Thomas Edison’s first sound recording
7 Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day (1941)
7 National Cotton Candy Day
7 Delaware became first state to ratify the Constitution
9 National Pastry Day
10 Nobel Peace Prizes awarded
10 Festival For the Soul of Dead Whales
11 National Noodle Ring Day
11 Day of the Horse
12 National Ding-A-Ling Day
12 Poinsettia Day
13 Ice Cream Day
13 Violins Day
14 Tell Someone They’re Doing a Good Job Day
15 Bill of Rights ratified (1791)
15 National Lemon Cupcake Day
15 National Firefighters Day
15 “Gone With the Wind” premiered (1939)
16 Boston Tea Party (1773)
16 Beethoven’s Birthday (born in 1770)
16 National Chocolate Covered Anything Day
17 Wright Brother’s Day
17 Underdog Day
17 National Maple Syrup Day
18 13th Amendment, abolishing slavery (1865)
19 Oatmeal Muffin Day
20 Games Day
20 Winter Solstice
21 National Flashlight Day
21 National French Fried Shrimp Day
21 National Hamburger Day
23 National Roots Day
24 National Eggnog Day
24 Anniversary of Silent Night (1818)
24 Christmas Eve
25 Christmas Day
25 National Pumpkin Pie Day
26 National Whiners Day
27 National Fruitcake Day
28 Card Playing Day
28 National Chocolate Day
28 Bairn Day (the unluckiest day of the year)
29 Pepper Pot Day
29 National Chocolate Day Again
31 Unlucky Day
31 New Years Eve
Looks like you liked my list (right above your post)!!
And Happy Birthday to me…
FROM: Pauline Lewis
Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4th November
RE: Christmas Party
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing tra ditional carols…please feel free to sing along.
And don’t be surprised if the Managing Director shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00 p.m.
Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! The Managing Director will make a special announcement at the Party.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Pauline
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th November
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re calling it our ‘Holiday Party.’ The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Pauline.
FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th November
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table…you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, “AA Only,” you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believe $10.00 is a little cheap.
NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Pauline.
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th November
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men’s table, too.
To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. And No, no blow-up sheep.
We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food. We suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply “No Sugar” desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!
Pauline.
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Fuckin’ Employees
DATE: 8 November
RE: The Fuckin’ Holiday Party.
Vegetarian pricks I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the “grill of death”, as you so quaintly put it. You’ll get your f*ckin’ salad bar, including organic tomatoes, but you know tomatoes have feeling, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW!!
Hope you all have a rotten holiday * drink, drive, and die!
The Bitch from HELL!!!
FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 9th November
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her.
