Instant Honesty Alone...thought I'd get more bondng...

[deanie]

So I was working with my TG again, in a bathroom again, remember he is a plumber…

So I took my Instant HOnesty X2 and put about 3 sprays in a diffuser and plugged it into the bathroom outlet. Nice smell, but I didn’t want to be affected, so I stayed out of the bathroom. There is something about him that I don’t even need Instant HOnesty to say something that I don’t even have any control over!!!

Anyway, he was in the bathroom the whole time. Things seemed rather “off” to me but keep in mind, he was tired from working a full day plus overtime and then came over straight from that to bail me out. I could tell he would rather not have been there, but coming in commented about saying he’d be there.

As he was working and we were chatting, he mentioned he had purchased a movie that I could borrow. He really hasn’t lent me anything before so maybe the “trust” issue that Instant Honesty promotes kicked in. Makes me feel good that I’m not just a “customer”, but now also a friend, sometimes a close friend.

NOthing much closer with this interaction, but I didn’t mix up the Instant HOnesty with anything else. Just wanted to see what would happen with it alone. Previously I mixed it up with Molecule H and Instant Sexiness and exactly two beers, which I had a great reaction to.

Wondering if I mixed it up with Lust After Me w/cops if there would have been a different reaction. Or if it would have affected him in such a way as to go to his girlfriends, only to hit on “her”??? Didn’t use it because I thought the exposure would be short lived, but as it turned out, it would have been a two hour exposure!!! who knew??

Before he left, I requested another bail out for next week (of course I always pay him!) but no committment from him at this point to come back, just an “I’ll think about it”. I think poor timing on my part for even asking after such a long day…for both of us, things were just very off, what do you think?

[Rbt]

There are so many variable in life. Could have been anything, including, as you suspect, being wiped out after a long day. There are times/days even the prospect of a free pizza wouln’t get me motivated…

(hot sex on the other hand I’d probably give more serious consideration too personally…)

Pheromones aren’t going to eliminate “obstacles.” They just seem to serve as a bit of “lubricant.” Things need to be rolling relatively smoothly already.

Just my opinion/thought.

[Lor]

Wondering if I mixed it up with Lust After Me w/cops if there would have been a different reaction. Or if it would have affected him in such a way as to go to his girlfriends, only to hit on “her”??? Didn’t use it because I thought the exposure would be short lived, but as it turned out, it would have been a two hour exposure!!! who knew??

Before he left, I requested another bail out for next week (of course I always pay him!) but no committment from him at this point to come back, just an “I’ll think about it”. I think poor timing on my part for even asking after such a long day…for both of us, things were just very off, what do you think?

i think im confused as to what you were hoping would happen?

he has a girlfriend,correct?

im confused if you though pheromones would cause someone to do something they didnt want to…what would have been the best case senario here?

[Kitten]

To be honest, , I am surprised he didn’t say anything negative about not wanting to do the work. I’ve found that Instant Honesty is good for bonding to a degree, but it also encourages people who are in a bad mood to vocalize their complaints.

I’m thinking that Instant Sexiness would be helpful if you wanted to encourage a good mood while this guy is going out of his way to do you a favor. The TAH you wore previously may have provoked a gentlemanly response to a damsel in distress as well.

If your goal in this is simple experimention and flirtation, more power to you. Have fun! But as to poaching a guy with a gf… Be careful. And be ready for the karma.

[pherobeliever]

@deanie

So I was working with my TG again, in a bathroom again, remember he is a plumber…

Anyway, he was in the bathroom the whole time. Things seemed rather “off” to me but keep in mind, he was tired from working a full day plus overtime and then came over straight from that to bail me out. I could tell he would rather not have been there, but coming in commented about saying he’d be there.

Before he left, I requested another bail out for next week (of course I always pay him!) but no committment from him at this point to come back, just an “I’ll think about it”. I think poor timing on my part for even asking after such a long day…for both of us, things were just very off, what do you think?

Deanie,

Those two paragraphs stood out to me when I read your post. I think you answered your own question. Your TG was tired, he’d worked a full day plus overtime and came to bail you out because he was keeping his word to be there. Yesterday was Saturday, so he’d probably worked all week as well. He probably would rather have gone home, hit the shower, got a beer, and chilled out for a while.

But he came anyway. You two chatted. He offered to lend you the movie. There’s a friendship between you.

My thoughts: relax, be easy about this, and let things flow at their pace. Stay out of your own way (don’t overanalyze).

My thoughts come from an experience that I had recently. I was with someone who very much wanted to form an emotional bond with me, and everything this person said made me feel as if the connection was being forced upon me. It made me very uncomfortable and essentially pushed me away. Had this person just been able to “be” and spend time with me without trying to make the connection, the connection might have developed.

With this person, I got the message, “Here I am; I want you to like me like me like me . . .” Instead, if the message had been, “Here I am. This is who I am and I like me. I like you, too. Who are you?” there would have been more of a chance for interaction.

I’m not saying that you’re sending the first message to your TG. I’m just offering the experience for thought.

[deanie]

Thanks everyone…it always helps to bring it to the group; everything seems clearer when you put your spins on it.

Thanks for the guy’s perspective Rbt and get your drift!

Lor, I don’t know what I wanted to happen other than a continuation of the great vibe I get from him, friends or ??? I’m receiving as many mixed signals as I am probably putting out, although I think I’ve let him know how I feel about him without anything scary. We are ever so slowly finding a friendship outside of our work relationship. I want to solidify that so that when the work relationship ends, there is still a relationship.

He has a girlfriend??? As I mentioned in a previous post, it’s complicated. We each have SO’s, but are not happy with our situations. We share our heart to hearts about this. He feels trapped; I do too, but in different ways. They used to live together; he asked her to leave, so she’s been gone for several months now. He does still see her, but doesn’t want to live with her or marry her. I don’t pry; he tells all when he needs a “soft place to fall.”

So, Kitten, the Instant Honesty maybe was doing it’s stuff. From his conversation, he sounded more irritated with her than having to be working with me.

Pherobeliever, I do feel what you say is so true. I’ve been bideing my time, letting him make invites, offering to lend me a movie–this is not at all normal for him/us and I’m loving it. Things do seem better since I’ve been using pheros. Since using the pheros it feels like he’s making the effort to be friends outside of our working relationship. I did want to see what the Instant Honesty alone would bring out in him. And I’m just glad that he was still pleasant and chatty, just like you said, I answered my own question. Just wanted to see if others got what I got out of it. (I DO tend to overanalyze).:o

So thanks everyone!!!

[Kitten]

Hope both of you find wonderfully soft places to fall, Deanie.

[Rbt]

I also should add that at times people can be totally clueless for one reason or another. I know it happens to me (as a guy), and I suspect it happens to women too.

There have been a number of times in my life that I realized, too late, that “something” was being said/hinted at/etc. Or an opportunity was being offered. Usually long after the fact.

A second, third, or even ??? chance may have to be offered/hinted, but in various “strengths” you might say. If you come on too strong, and at the wrong time, it can backfire. Too weak it may be missed. Always strong or always weak or always somewhere in between may not get a response either. Remember how you can feel in a different mood from day to day for various reasons. Someone else can be the same way. And always responding/asking at the same “intensity” every time can work against you.

I think you have to experiment with people the same way you do with pheromones or perfumes or clothes or whatever. Different places, times, intensities (“doses”), mixes, approaches… See what works, what doesn’t.

Just some thoughts from my tired brain…

[pherobeliever]

@Rbt

I also should add that at times people can be totally clueless for one reason or another. I know it happens to me (as a guy), and I suspect it happens to women too.

There have been a number of times in my life that I realized, too late, that “something” was being said/hinted at/etc. Or an opportunity was being offered. Usually long after the fact.

A second, third, or even ??? chance may have to be offered/hinted, but in various “strengths” you might say. If you come on too strong, and at the wrong time, it can backfire. Too weak it may be missed. Always strong or always weak or always somewhere in between may not get a response either. Remember how you can feel in a different mood from day to day for various reasons. Someone else can be the same way. And always responding/asking at the same “intensity” every time can work against you.

I think you have to experiment with people the same way you do with pheromones or perfumes or clothes or whatever. Different places, times, intensities (“doses”), mixes, approaches… See what works, what doesn’t.

Just some thoughts from my tired brain…

Your brain may be tired, but the thoughts were right on. I think you had an especially good point about how people can feel in a different mood from day to day and responding/asking at the same intensity working against one.

Good post!