So last night was very eventful because it was sexual assault week at my college so I didn’t get to see new TG till 10pm. Sadly I did not have any sprays with me and I was feeling invisible the entire night with little to no confidence.
That quickly changed when I went up to TG’s room where him and his roomie were researching and studying.
We pretty much just enjoyed each others company until about 2 am and even then he didn’t want to take me back to my apt. He had a 9:30 am class tho so I told him it was best we cut it short.
He did tell me he thought for several hours about us being official and said that if I was ready to be in a relationship that he would be ready too… Now this is when I got cold feet, because at the same time old TG is texting me. Ugh!
So I told him that we should hold off. IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT! What is wrong with the two of us?!
So now I need to figure out what the hell I want. Do I wanna jump into a relationship with someone I’ve only known for about a month or wait and enjoy my singleness?
Wait, it seems like you may still have feelings for old TG from what I sense because it’s funny how you told him to “hold off” right after your old TG was texting you. I really think you’re not ready, and if you do get involved with new TG I have a feeling that it could lead to unfaithfulness because of you still possibly having feelings for old TG.
You’re young kitsune, I don’t think you’re ready mentally (regarding what you want with a guy) at the moment so just have fun. That’s just my two cents.
I think you have a point there Mikoto.
Right now it’s about 50/50 on the feelings bit for both of them.
It’s more of the feeling of needing to be there for old TG that I’m dealing with people he’s going through so much right now. If I was reassured that him and me would still be friends even if I was dating someone else then I could fully move on. But yes, there are still some feelings left over.
I’m glad that you can be honest with yourself about possibly still having feelings for old TG, because really it wouldn’t be fair for new TG. Imagine if you do go ahead and get serious with new TG and he finds out that you still have feelings for old TG? That would suck for him, and I’m sure you’d be hurt too if you put yourself in his shoes. So just remain single until you know for a fact what you want, but now it leads me to a question. If you know you still have feelings for old TG, why did you want to get serious with new TG? Is it because you always like having a guy there to be with you? Do you think you have attachment issues where you feel you always have to be with someone no matter what your true feelings may be? Just curious.
See the thing is when I had decided on Sunday that I wanted to be official I had previously and purposely spent time with TG to see if there were any lingering feelings and nothing happened between us. I even wore 3 sprays of MX274 and still nothing. So the next day I was ready because I had gone several hours with TG and it felt like we were just old friends.
But yeah I get what you’re saying about it not being fair to him, and that’s why I told him we should hold off because something about old TG going through stuff and needing someone to be there with him struck a cord.
Me and him and a very good connection that I haven’t found with anyone since my old TG and I felt like I could be myself around new TG and the chemistry was there.
Funny you should say that. My answer would have been yes a few months ago, but since then I’ve become more independent and have realized that friends are always there and that I don’t need a guy to hang on. To tell you the truth I had told myself a week or so before meeting new TG that I was taking myself off the market and just not gonna look. When I met new TG I actually didn’t think of him as someone I would date because I wasn’t in that mind set. It wasn’t until 2 weeks later that he began to grow on me and I started to fall for him and everything just clicked.
Not so much anymore. I’ve gotten a lot better from what I used to be. I still have this thing where I can’t get over someone unless there’s another person in my life which is why I didn’t think that old feelings would be an issue because I was already getting over old TG and moving on with my life and wanting new TG now. But I guess not. Eh…it doesn’t matter how hard I try or how long it’ll take… I’ve always needed someone else to get over the other person. Always.
That’s not a good thing, you should only need yourself to get over someone else. Because someone else will not always be there, but it’s good that you’re doing some progress.
You can’t always wait for a superhero to save you, sometimes you need to save yourself.
Yeah it’s not good, but even though I’ve been trying to be independent getting over someone without having someone else to care about just isn’t who I am. I’m a very loving person who has always been attached to my family and the people around me, and everyone has there “place”. I think that I find when I don’t have someone in that “guy I really care for” place then I feel very incomplete. Can’t help it, it’s just how I am.
I don’t blame you really, although it’s not healthy (well, at least from what I think) in a way I’m the same way. Before I met my wife I was always more about getting involved in serious relationships than being with a different girl every time. Well, I also never really considered my self to be real popular with the ladies, due to being shy as well and other confidence issues yadda yadda. So yeah, I always felt that I’d rather be with a girl seriously than just a scam, although I have had my fair share of “scams” but my main intent was more of a serious girlfriend to have and share my times with.
I am also pretty close to my family, which is why it hurt me REAL bad when my mom died. Since I’m starting to feel that you may be just like me in this department, I really hope that you will soon gain some independence regarding this problem because it’s really hard losing a parent when you’re the way we are. Only reason why I’m able to take it a little easier is because I now have my son and wife to be there for me. So yeah, I guess we’re the same… I don’t even want to know how I’d be handling my mom’s loss without a wife and son to help me remind me that I’m still not alone. As well as still having my dad and brother; it’s hard being this way.
Yeah, I think you got it right on.
I’m becoming a lot more confident now, and with that comes the independence. That’s why I’m really liking this new guy because not only do we click, but he lives his own life and I live mine and we usually only see each other on the weekends and rarely text because we’re busy with our own stuff.
Yes, it is a good thing you have your wife and son. I think we all need someone to lean on in times like that. It’s hard to go at it alone.
I was gonna try out more drops of cops then I usually do tonight…
well…my little dropper is broken apparently because I just got a dropper full, not a drop, a dropper full all over my body. It burns from the top of my neck to my belly button and you can see a red streak. I really hope this gives me a good night because even though I still have half my bottle that’s still a lot of cops.
Thank goodness I don’t have to go to dinner till 7. New TG will be dropping by before hand tho x.x Wish me luck in covering this crap.
I got a few “what’s the smell”'s from some girls tonight. Why can’t girls just shut up and take it hehe
Got some eye contact and good responses from guys. Nothing over the top like I’ve gotten in the past. Still a little worried about this diminish in hits
Had on 2 sprays of IS/b. New TG was attentive, but he was sick sadly so I didn’t get any kisses on the lips. Darn him for being so sweet and considerate
He did play along with me torturing him tho. He let me bite his ear or kiss his neck and started torturing me in his own ways.
I really wanna just stop using pheromones for a good while. I’m so addicted tho, and sometimes I feel like I need to use them >.<
I might just switch to perfume to help wean me off. Man I’m addicted
I think I’ll probably give it a rest after tomorrow since Saturday is always a big party day and then I’ll try, and hopefully I’ll keep this promise to myself, to not use pheros for at least a whole week.
Me too. I probably need to lay off for a while. I actually panicked yesterday when I realized I forgot to take my MX274 to work. I almost turned my car around. Luckily, I had a back-up mix in my purse!
I used a few things. And it still wasn’t enough.
Pink sugar, coconut and chocolate lotion (for lower half of me) which was covered by a shirt. The shirt got some cops on it tho so I had to spray it with some febreeze stuff that helped a lot.
Then I used 2 sprays of IS/b for my neck and chest.
I’ve been getting results like I feel subconscious about myself with. I’ve even got an emotional feeling…kinda like I wanna cry, but not? hmm…I’m gonna up this to 5 sprays on a later date. That will get me to 62.5 mcg.
P80 with IS/b
IS/b: 2 (neck, wrist)
P80: 3 (neck, arm, face)
Was feeling happy and confident with IS/b then I added P80 later and it kinda helped me to lose some of my inhibitions and do things I was more hesitant of.
hehe
