Quote of a lifetime.
When it comes to marriage its all different.
First and foremost women want security. In your sister’s case she herself already had the most important security factors which are financial and social status factors. So the only thing she needed was emotional security factor. And my guess is that out of all the male options she had her current husband was the only one who could give her this security.
But if she didnt have the financial and social status secured first her choice would be different.
If a man with higher ‘value’ than your husband like George Clooney maybe suddenly came up to you and charmed you you would change your mind. 
Yes they are the most important but that doesnt make other traits less important.
Are you serious?
I work at a grocery store making near minimum wage. Does that mean salary isnt important to me? Because IT IS. Its just that Im not in the position to get a better job right now therefore my job now is THE BEST I CAN GET with what I have.
The issue with the fundamentalist mentality, reducing anything to a set of basic rules or laws, is that whatever you look at, can become oversimplified. 
That is all,
Dominick
I have been trying very hard to stay out of this argument, but you’ve said one thing that I couldn’t leave alone.
I cannot understand the logic of this statement. If something or things is the most important, then it stand to reason that other things would be of less importance.
If something else is not less important, then the two things are of equal importance, and the first is not most important.
Whew! I’m glad I got that off my chest. lol
Oh, yes! You must be right! How silly of me to think that someone who moved to a new country, leaving family behind, then busted their butt getting 3 degrees, whilst supporting themselves & obtaining shocking student loan debts wouldn’t need a man to feel emotionally secure! A person who’s done all that couldn’t possibly be strong & emotionally secure could they? No, you must be right, she definitively must have needed a man to make her feel emotionally secure
So based on your previous arguments on “what women want” & you mentioning you’re on minimum wage… Should I assume you’re not having much luck with the ladies?
LOL Seriously sweetie… You have sooo much growing up to do
If A is worth 100 and B is worth 98, that means A is the highest but B is still very high up there. Thats my point.
Obviously I failed to make myself clearer before.
If she didnt need a man she wouldnt get married.
Your assumption is right.
For long term relationship I cant keep women who are too far out of my social status because ‘higher value’ guys keep taking them away and personality can only go so much. I have no problem getting women within my league tho.
Oh golly, here we go. Poor little woman, can’t get along without a man. Please go get married before you hurt yourself, girlie, because there’s no way you’ll make it on your own. 
Excuse me while I lose my lunch.
I do not do everything out of need, most of it is done out of desire.
I did not marry because I needed a man to complete me, fix me, support me, define me, or validate me. I married because together we make a symphony of life and beauty. Marriage isn’t about one half and another half becoming one whole. It is about one whole person and another whole person becoming something completely new and unique. I daresay Xiphoid’s sister would say something similar.
I realize we’re not exactly talking about marriage here, but everyone’s paradigm is based on their experiences. I am married and Xiphoid said that her sister was, too, so those are the parameters I was working with.
To say that getting married is only because you need a man is comparable to saying that buying that fancy sports car is only because you need a ride to work. C’mon, if that was all there was to it, you’d take the bus, or buy a Yugo. If needing a man was the only consideration, a girl has no further to look than the next warm male body she meets. Most guys are willing if given opportunity.
HAHAHAHA Xiphoid. Your good!
Jankren… whatever. The hot chicks..ooops… oh I mean “quality women” aren’t boinking you because they are all greedy gold diggers. You found us girls out!! WHAT freaking ever. Do any of you ever stop for a moment and wonder if maybe hot chicks don’t want to date you because SOME of you are big whiney unworthy babies? You poor NICE guys can’t get the HOT smoking hos—so there must be something wrong with all the HOT hos. boohooohoo Why aren’t you “nice” ordinary guys ever given a break? Maybe cuz your really not that nice and you don’t give the NICE GIRLS a break because you are too obsessed with landing the HOT Smoking HOs. You seek, you desire, you obsess on the ALMIGHTY, elusive HOT HO…(yeah…and every time I say HOT HO imagine a gong going off) but do you even really LIKE them?? It doesn’t sound like it by how much venom you spit when you mention them.
Jankren, you don’t need instant jerk, ammo, or edge..you need A CLUE.
Some chicks are gold diggers. Some chicks aren’t. Some women like alpha douches and SOME woman don’t. Being beautiful doesn’t automatically make a woman quality and being beautiful doesn’t make her an object without a soul.
Am I done ranting? Nah!! Oh and Xipoid’s sister couldn’t possibly be beautiful and successful and financial secure and desire a good man to share her life with. nahhh…she must need a man to make her emotionally secure because something has to be wrong with a woman who is smart, financially well of and beautiful!
Instead of continually trying to tell the Women what a Woman is..you should be figuring out how to be a man. I think it would solve a lot of your problems.
yawn
You’ve got a lot of work ahead of you son.
Women and money: Not this girl!
I too don’t like the money philosophy La has more than its fair share of gold diggers I’m not one of them.I personally find the concept immoral unless its a straight up arrangment between two people with like mindsets.
I mean my boyfriend for example.
He doesn’t really have any specific social status at all that I can tell and drives an old vw cabriolet that’s in by no means hot rod condition.( I love the car too working on it is one of my favorite hobbies)
Our sex life has been kinda yawn the last few months as well.
But you know what I met a guy who I just couldn’t help but love.
I’ve been propositioned by plenty of well off socially elevated guys serious lookers too.
A guy could have the nicest car,house,body ectra.
It all means jack without love.
I’d rather have a man that loves me,listens to me and makes my heart go kerthumpy when I look at him or snuggle up to him. Even if hes got nothing to offer me beyond love and affection.
I don’t care one itty bit if I’m poor as long as I’m happy and even with our ups and downs good and bad most of the time I’m happy and content.
Nice words from a nice girl.
Times are a changin’. Plenty 'o gold digger men too and it’s on the increase. My sister was married to an unemployed dirtbag and she paid the mortgage and bills for 10 years before divorcing him. I see it all the time with both married and unmarried couples.
A lot more women enroll and graduate from college than men and the ratio only escalates in grad school. These women will slowly take over in positions of power because they have the education and skills needed whereas fewer and fewer men do. Mark my words, women will be the bread winners and power brokers of the future. Men will increasingly be the sexual objects (hopefully we won’t be replaced by those vibrating thingies), stay at home dads and trophy husbands of the 21th century.
I don’t know where jankren lives but he’s gotta be a time traveler from a simpler time. A time when men were men and women were women. 1957? It’s all so confusing now…
Or these times maybe? Ah, you know what’s funny? This pic describes what the past used to be, I bet in the far future this picture will be of a business woman carrying a screaming guy dressed in street clothes. Just goes to show how smart women are, and how much we should really give them credit.
Lol, I think I did a pretty good job making all the ladies hate me.
Anyway, I dont know why everybody keeps saying I generalize all women as gold diggers. All Im saying is that as of now money is an important factor that women see in a man even if it is not the most important but it is still important.
However, I agree that as described by Gegogi’s prediction in the future everything may be reversed and men will expect financial security from women. But I think it will still be a long time before that happens.
Why so serious?
As a matter of fact right now Im dating a nice girl. Currently Im in the mood for a serious relationship and it is only possible with a nice girl because the chance of her taken away by ‘higher value’ guys is much lower but Im very sure if against the small odds one day some ‘higher value’ guy approached her she would leave me in a blink of an eye.
Lol jankren do the nice girl a favor and don’t let and HO’s steal you away. 
Unless you have some serious gardening to do..
That is.
LOL!
Apparently it would come to a surprise to some that here in 2009 there are a significant # of women out there who have their own money and do not need a husband/boyfrield/sugardaddy to supply them with either the necessities or comforts to live. And I’m not talking about heiresses; I"m talking about women who make their own money.
Perhaps guys who keep running into gold diggers are looking in the wrong places 
Xiphoid’s sister is not alone; her story sounds much like mine – I have a Ph.D. and a commensurate salary to go with it. I married for love and am the primary breadwinner, and no my husband is not a lazy chump drinking beer all day long but is a hard worker at a full time job. I just happen to make alot more money.
Jankren, I realize that you are young and probably in college, so look around campus – half the students are female, many will finish school with good grades, GET JOBS, and become financially self-sufficient.
Alot of women aren’t after a man’s money, but would value in a long-term mate a man who will work with them to build a secure financial future, isn’t lazy, won’t trash their credit score, run them into debt, etc.
It’s hard to be mad at you for too long, Jankren. 
I keep remembering that you are only 21 and your experience is with girls not women and you have a lot to learn about women, sex and relationships. Also, there seems to be some huge self esteem issues and you seem to think that landing a girl far out of your league is going to fix things. I read that on the board here a lot, men miserable that they aren’t getting attention from women they think of as out of their league and a feeling of unsatisfaction at the women who do desire them. You really need to find your self esteem in you, not in the women you can attract. Look at your last entry.
That’s just kind of sad. You have a girlfriend but you seem preoccupied at finding something “better” and you seem to feel like you are settling for her even though she is nice and likes you.. You still pine for that “better” woman. Which probably isn’t the woman who’s nicer to you and treats you better. It’s the woman every one else wants. At the same time, your self esteem keeps you thinking if something better (higher value) comes by, your girlfriend is just going to leave you because you aren’t good enough. It’s that mentality which I think is dragging you down the most…not the lack of HOT HOs. LOL You REALLY need to start thinking you are high value or absolutely nobody else will.
You should look at this movie. I’m generally skeptical at self-help stuff, but it talks about creating your destiny by positive thinking and invisioning and believing in the things you want in life. I found it had a LOT of truth in it and was very inspiring..although there was some cheese factor and a bit shallow thinking in the fact that it kept talking about invisioning yourself rich and driving hot cars instead of finding true love and inner peace. But watch it, I think it has some ideas that could relate to PUA.. If a guy thinks he is low value because he doesn’t have a uber hot chick, he doesn’t have a hot chick because he thinks he is low value. By believing you are low value without a hot chick..you create your Hot Chickless reality by believing you are low value. Hmm that should be on a fortune cookie.
Your young. Your ideas of women and sex and self worth are going to change so much. You can’t measure your worth by what you stick your dick in. You can’t beat yourself down over every little rejection you’ve had by a woman. Your negativity towards women (probably from past rejections and your failure to bag the women you desire) and your self esteem issues ooze from your posts. Do you not think women can totally pick up on that?
Saying that, I will still probably get on your case every time you say something piggyish because that’s what I do best.
I figured this video applies here, it’s PUAs on Dr. Phil.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNAi1Lso1IU - Pickup Artist Savoy on Dr Phil Part-1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwB2xMFvwnE - Pickup Artist Savoy on Dr Phil Part-2
LOL They changed the name to love systems because the top PUA’s know exactly how bad and misinterpreted the PUA community has gotten.
These men claim its just honing social skills so they can approach women and I agree with that. Learning skills is good. Like I said before though its the men who use it as a weapon against women who give it a bad name. Its the attitude and motive of the user that makes PUA a dirty word.
Sort of like the argument on guns. Is the guns bad for being a gun or the person using the gun. Of course its the person using it when they dont use it properly or use it to hurt another.
Great find Taibo reps
Tisha
Actually–just to nitpick–54% of college students in the USA are women and a higher percentage of them go on to graduate than their male classmates. The college I teach at is 60% female…