My oh my, were did the respect go?

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
161

Without sounding like a snob, please bear with me. I am now generalising and using my own life as an example

I think you misunderstand women in their entirity. There are only a very small percentage of women who would be classed as golddiggers and the majority of them are as shallow as the men they want.

Most people tend to unite as a couple within their own class and type, money is not usually a factory when there is a chemisty between you. Love comes at a later date (I do not believe in love at first sight, I do however believe in lust at first sight where most people’s misconceptions lie).

The saying money can’t buy you love is predominently true, it may initially attract, but most men with money ruin it with their ego’s.

As for me straying if someone of higher value, such as George Cloony, came along, I can’t say I wouldn’t be tempted, but never go through with it, no matter how hard they try and charm. I’m not an unattractive woman, and have always had men try to charm me over the years, and some of them have good jobs, are good looking and have more money that I am used to at the moment, but apart from flirting, I keep a good barrier there.

Like I said, money can be an attractive trait, but where it’s attractive to one, its attractive to many others. You would always have to be on your toes to keep your man from straying, and I like the fact that I have a man who is loyal and I can depend on being there for me no matter what.

We have been together 8 years now, married for 6. We have never spent one night apart, he is even on about spending a little more so I can have back surgery (if it’s needed, not sure yet) done in a private hospital so that he can stay with me. This is the love and support that most women would crave for, so why on earth would I give this up for money?

Sorry, but put the brush back in the tar and start viewing each woman as an individual and you will be pleasantly surprised in what you may learn.

It sounds like you have a nice girl at the moment, so keep charming her, you don’t need money to honestly charm a girl, it’s the silly things that matter, like “the last rolo” from the packet (if that makes sense, it does in the UK), give her your coat when it’s cold, pick her some flowers (legally) you don’t even have to buy them, a daisy or buttercup, cut her a CD of a her favourite music. Simple things can impress as it makes her know that she is special as you are thinking about her. She obviously doesn’t care about your job, so stop fretting about the higher value guy that may or may not come along.

As you can see, I am a hopeless romantic, but so are so many others, whether they will admit it is another thing :smiley:

162

I think Rosslyn-Rose makes a good point here. It has become somewhat cliche, but it is still true.

Most women are more easily won over by those small acts of thoughtfulness and caring than by all the money in the world. This type of generosity, doing for her those little things that aren’t necessary, speaks volumes about a guy’s character.

It tells us that you are unselfish, thoughtful, generous, kind, willing to go the extra mile. Anyone can buy flowers or take you out to dinner. But the guy who shows up with a handful of daisies from the side of the road and a picnic basket is a self-starter. He doesn’t need someone to do the work for him, he gives of himself. Also, it shows an understanding that effort, caring and time can solve more issues than cash.

163

While I do agree with you that things have gotten way out of control, that is not the reason they changed it to Love Systems :stuck_out_tongue:. They changed it because it was Mystery’s intellectual property (his name) and he wasn’t associated with the company. It involved legal processes and had ZERO to do with anything other than legalities.

Many views here, are not the ones I believe in as far as anyone generalizing anyone else. Like I’ve stated I believed that Domnk was wrong, I’ve stated that, over and done with, but that does not mean I also support anybody else that woman are this or that. It’s exactly that type of mentality that I am opposed to and why I said my piece.

Putting people into categories is just F’d Up! People are unique. If every woman is a gold digger and every PUA is a emotionless tool, than every pheromone company is a scam and that makes every pheromone user an ugly troll with no social abilities their own. This type of mentality goes deeper than I am willing to debate. At its very core its manipulative and dangerous to all involved and feelings do get hurt.

I’ve made my peace and unfortunately as a host here, I can’t just ignore this thread, but I urge those who can to now just ignore those who will not see past their limited thoughts. It’s human nature to have limitations, but its human excellence to be able to surpass those limitations and excel. Using logical arguments to help another see the wisdom in ones own thoughts is good, beating a dead horse is not so much. Everyone has opinions and are entitled to them. When it becomes evident opinions are set and will not change: move on and be happy that you are able to :wink:.

164

WRT golddiggers; the only men who really need worry about them are men who have little to offer but their money. The sort of guy whose mind revolves around work, status and sex. Throwing large amounts of money on a girl early on also attracts it, I feel men who do this often do so exactly because they know, perhaps subconsciously, that the girl may abandon him if he does not spend a lot. A guy who is interesting, empathic, admirable and has some money along with those qualities is going to attract more women genuinely attracted to his character. That may include the underlying qualities that made him a good provider; discipline, ambition, honorable, comoon sense. But that kind of guy is more likely to be married even before he starts making much money. Most of the guys who get dug are guys who spent all their youth trying to get rich and not dating at all. Some guys just don’t have the courage to get out of their comfort zone and develop their character to become a well rounded person, so they use money as a short cut.

It is kind of like the girl who fears being used for sex. This usually is not the girl who is the most graceful, interesting, refined person in the world but rather one who either drops her panties very quickly or is pretty but boring, moody or coarse. It is rather difficult for a guy to use you sexually if you wait until you know his character and feelings; few men can play a role for a few months, many can for just an evening. Often, these girls know that the guy may leave if she does not sleep with him. Some girls lack the discipline toget to know a guy before sex and to beautify their character and use sex as a short cut.

Most of the people who get used wanted something they could not have under normal circumstances without putting in the effort to work on themselves. It is kind of sad to see that people have so little backbone and let slack keep them from having the character that attracts and helps keep genuine interest. The people who use are actually often just as damaged. They need a long list of conquests or status symbols given by a sugar daddy to feel worthy or impress others because there is some gaping hole inside them. I don’t think anyone who has experienced the beauty of sex can soil it by using it as a weapon. Once you see how tragic these people can be, it is hard to be envious or angry at them. So the whole using/being used thing, to me, is more like a league of mentally unhealthy people, the special olympics of love. But then again some people need to play that game to find out what really matters. Sometimes you need the school of hard knocks to teach you.

165

There is also a big difference between being a good guy or girl and being a pushover. Actually, can a good person be a pushover at all? Part of good character is respect for the human in general and for oneself in particular. People who are letting others mistreat them aren’t showing self respect. Courage is also a part of being a good person, and it takes courage to accept that not everyone is going to want to be your friend , lover or mate. If you are putting up with mistreatment to keep someone around, you are not showing courage. Standing up to mistreatment is an act of moral oourage and strengthens the character. Now mistreating that person back, or worse, mistreating others who did nothing wrong to you is not something that weakens the character.

166

Actually I have the same belief.

However, the fact is our society in general still sees and expects men to be the provider and most men around the world value himself in accordance to their ability to provide while women on the other hand value themselves in accordance to their looks.

167

There is a big difference between expecting a man to provide and being a gold digger. To me, a gold digger is a woman who focusses on money to the point where she is neglecting to look at important character traits. For example, someone who marries a man who is rich, but cheats on her or uses drugs. A woman who selects a decent breadwinner so she can focus on her family, and also makes sure she marries a good person is perfectly normal. It is also normal for a man to strive to be a decent provider and to gain strength from the appreciation he receives at home.

I do think you are bringing up a good point about some men measuring their worth by their ability to provide. That is pretty sad because whole the role of the provider is a beautiful part of the masculine role, it is not the only part. It is all about balance really, and self acceptance.
If you accept yourself, you need not worry about your value, you feel you are enough as you are. Of course, having self respect means to strive to improve your habits and your life, but that goes very well from a point of acceptance.
I think a lot of people are fooled into thinking that being wealthy is the only part of the masculine role and being beautiful is the only part of the feminine role. Just because the guy bringing in 70K is more desirable a husband than the guy earning nothing, does not mean the guy bringing in 170K is as much more desirable as the guy bringing in 100K. If you lose balance to earn that extra money and come home with a bad mood, live unhealthy, have no time for your wife or children, that is not attractive. On the same note, if a woman is looking unkempt, and poorly dressed, adding half an hour to her beauty routine in the morning and evening would enhance her attractiveness. If the woman was already looking pretty, fresh and well dressed, the same would crowd out other activities like reading, sleep, cleaning her house and then she might get the opposite effect. The different aspects of our gender roles are kind of like seasons, each is good, but excess of any is not good. Without the rain of fall, the summer would be scorching. Because we have autumn too, we can actually appreciate the summer more than if we had only summers.

168

Sorry, I don’t quite agree on this, although I only really have the UK liefstyle to compare it to. But I don’t think that it’s society that still sees and espects the man to be the provider. These days I see the man taking more of a back seat and the woman is really coming out.

There are many, many women that are going it alone, only settling in a relationship once they have built a life and career of their own. Children are not even considered by these alpha females until at least the age of 35 as they feel they have more to offer by then.

I find that men preen themselves as much as women, they are now male beauty products and cosmetics all over the place.

This is the city life, wheras the rural life still holds the old fashioned values that you speak of, but this is really getting less and less on an annual basis.

169

Thats good to know, I am sure your more on target to why the name change occured. I have read some stuff from him complaining about poor excution and guys misunderstanding PUA. Again not every PUA but for some.

I totally agree with this, well said :wink:

Tisha

170

I’ll have to agree 100% with Rosslyn-Rose here. Times have changed at least where I live–maybe not in backwoods areas. The stereotyped role of male as provider has long eroded away. I live in an urban jungle and see the woman as provider being at least on par, and I suspect more the norm due to a high percentage of single parent homes. Hell, two of my immediate neighbors are stay-at-home dads and their wives bring home the bacon. Since I know them, I can say these women simply have better education/skills and work because they can make a lot more money than if the roles were reversed.