Bah, this is really frustrating. Yesterday, I remember coming across a book title that I can’t remember now. All I remember is that it was like “On beginning alchemy”. I think I saw it here, but searching for “alchemy” just brings up a bunch of the Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab threads. Help remembering it or finding it would be very very much appreciated.
Eldros - I don’t remember the exact post, but I think it was Sugarspice who mentioned this alchemy book. I’m beat, or I’d research it for you. You can search her posts, or maybe be really sweet to her in a PM… 
Searched it up and found it in 15 seconds, thank you so much +++.
BTW - your pizza thief looks just like my thief. She’s never stolen a piece of pizza, though. Just about everything else, but not a piece of pizza. That’s pretty ballsy!!!