I have been letting my hair grow out, and have been starting to look and feel kind of like a hippie chick. That was not good. I needed to do something about it.
So, the night before last, I begin to browse online, trying to decide what to do, and what kind of hair cut or shaping I would want, and the best way to communicate that to a hairdresser (which I didn’t have yet either, previously spoiled by Newbury Street salons).
As I browsed, I came upon a hair cutting discussion group, with a fool-proof method of cutting one’s own bangs. There was only positive feedback from others who had successfully done this, and even a little video someone had made actually doing this as well.
I had not even considered bangs. In fact, I don’t think I ever even had bangs (or a fringe, as they also call it) in my entire life. So, at around 12:30am, when I should have been sleeping 
, I suddenly decide, hey I can do this, this doesn’t look so hard, I think its time for me to try bangs!
I grab a comb and the scissors from my desk and take them into the bathroom, by the mirror. Following the fool-proof instructions, I measure the one inch in from the center of my hair line, and then make the little triangle with my thumbs. After pinning back the rest of my hair, I isolate the properly measured-off amount of hair, isolating even a little less, to be safe, just in case I messed up somehow.
The instructions, and the video, said not to cut straight across, but to cut the hair upwards. The girl in the video already had bangs, she was just trimming hers to demonstrate. The hair I had isolated was long, and I didn’t know how I could do the “upward” cutting thing. So, I cut the hair across, thinking that once I got rid of the length, then I could “cut upwards” more easily. I also thought that cutting it by my nose would give ample length to work with.
Spproinngg!! The moment the scissors went all the way through the chunk of hair I had pulled taut, it bounced and shrank up, even shorter than my eyebrows!! And I had cut the hair at the level of my nose!! How can this be??
My “bangs” stuck up in chunky little tufts, and I looked (and felt) like Alfalfa. I grabbed the scissors again (which I had thrust away from me in my initial horror) and resignedly tried to do the “upwards cutting” to try to at least salvage something, and at least get rid of the awkward-looking chunkiness.
Great, now I looked like Little Lord Fauntleroy. Hey, but that was better than looking like Alfalfa. I gave up and went to bed.
The next morning, I washed my hair, and realized that now I would have to blow dry it if I wanted the bangs to not look wierd. Great, no more “wash and wear”, I was now “high maintenance”. No more camping for me. Or swimming at the beach either. Unless I wanted to pack a blow dryer with me everywhere. What have I gotten myself into??
They sure do make it look easy, don’t they. 
).