When I was 20 (yes, eight years ago) I developed a sudden mad crush on the guy who moved into the apartment next to me. I was unbelievably crazy about him for no particular reason! Even my friends were understandably disturbed at my unexplainable, unwavering interest in a guy who was far less attractive then I was!
We never officially hooked up, but there was some heated making out a few times and then i moved and we lost touch. I haven’t seen him since then (minus one sighting at a crowded bar about a year after I got married, but that was years ago.)
Moving on. So today my new pheromones came. I ordered instant sexiness A, instant honesty, instant openness and instant shine. I was headed out to run a few errands (I’m a stay at home mom and don’t get out much so i DO wear perfume on the notable occasions that I creep out of my “Sesame Street World.”)
I decided to take it real easy and just wear a spray of instant sexiness and one of instant honesty. (I reasoned if I forced myself to just spray once and then wait a minute before re-spraying I might conserve sprays AND avoid over doing it.)
I sprayed the instant honesty on the back of my neck and WOW! Suddenly it was neighbor Mike all over the place!!! It was like he was there in my room wearing his trademark black shirt and blue jeans falling off his scrawny ass!
I was so stunned I sorta stumbled and then I told my son, “J, your mama was duped!”
Imagine all those months of not being able to get him out of my brain! I would smell his “cologne” in the fully enclosed hall (outside our units) and think about him for hours afterward!
Anyway, it will take some time for instant honesty to not be “Instant Mike” to me… but I know that whatever ingredients it has in common with whatever Mike wore all those years ago, they TRULY WORK!!! I was always feeling close to him and spilling my secrets… then again I do that a lot anyway.
