Please Post Some Things You Wish You Knew eariler

I wish I had known it is not the end result of your success goals, nor the trappings of that success that attracts women, but rather the core confidence one gains from knowing you have the character and will to achieve them. A millionaire that thinks his money will gain him women is doomed to fail, while the millionaire that knows he’s the kind of man that can become fantastically wealthy will radiate a solid core identity that women are drawn to.

…that the Alpha Male is not the bossy, overbearing or domineering bully, but rather the charismatic leader, the wise and patient mentor…the one who leads not for the perks of being a leader, but because of the knowledge that he can lead others to their own success. He looks out for the good of the pack.

…that whether it’s the man that showers every crush de’joure with expensive gifts and friend zoned for being a nice guy, or the girl that goes to bed with any guy that shows interest in the hopes that this will be the one that actually calls back the next day instead of labeling her a slut…trading ones own value for approval will get you neither.

You can always get the woman you want, and will always drive away the woman you “need”. Be strong enough and independent enough that neediness and clinginess are not traits anyone can attribute to you. No woman wants the pressure of being responsible for your happiness…no matter what you see in romance movies.

haha, nice!

I applaud you for that ! It is so very very important. I grew up without a father (figure). My dad died when I was six. Also I never had any brother, male cousins, uncles and grandfathers. So I never had a tutor, like you will be. I am trying to educating myself at the moment. But it is very hard to accomplish such a mental and behavioural shift. If only my mind had a reset button. :stuck_out_tongue:

Unfortunately yes. It probably applies to all Western societies, which all had and have the ongoing wave of feminism and the feminization of male behaviour and values.

Prob. the best advice my father ever gave me: You don’t have to win them all. The true sigh of a winner isn’t necessarily aggressiveness or intensity at every moment. Too much Alpha for the sake of proving (mostly TO yourself or invisible beings like the ghosts that inhabit your imagination) Alphaness is a ruinous waste of energy. Winners are VERY careful with how they budget their time and energy. About 80% of the human species are total time wasters… they drone on and on and on, mesmerized by the sound of their own voices… Winners instinctively know the power of keeping it short and sweet… Winners know that about 1% of the battles in life are worth the effort and 99% ties you down, burns through your resources, and gets you trapped in strange loops with people who drain you dry.

Pick your battles, pick the people you surround yourself with, pick the ideas you engage you mind with, pick the people you listen to, and pick the people you lavish time, energy, and concern on extremely carefully…

What might appear to be a charming, amusing, titillating character flaw in a drinking buddy might turn out to be a catastrophic misjudgment in a spouse or business partner. Never, never, ever get seriously involved with anyone who is adept at making excuses, rationalizing questionable conduct, or a little too practiced at throwing up shit storms and acting hurt or offended when you confront them on something that needs confronting. A real deal person will 101% own up to their errors and will get busy making things right… they WON’T tell you how much they MEAN to make things right, or how much they didn’t MEAN to do what they did, or how much they can’t understand “what came over them”, or how the “couldn’t help themselves”… they will immediately set to work MAKING things right and let their actions speak for themselves.

People who can’t face facts or don’t think other peoples rules apply to them or run on about how they’re “only human” after ripping you off or misrepresenting their knowledge or abilities or fucking up a project that they were sure they could learn as they went (on your dime, not theirs, it will mysteriously turn out) or stamp their feet and throw tantrums… etc… only go from bad to worse to total and utter rot…

Eliminate them as ruthlessly as you would surgically remove a potentially metastasizing cancerous tumor on the brain…

Learn to read people as carefully as a jeweler weighs and grades a stone.

Always remember that talk is cheap unless spoken by someone whose words consistently align with their actions. The real words are spoken with money and actions.

Now thats a nomination worthy post.

Gegogi Wrote:

A fine concert guitar sits on a stand. In and of itself, the guitar can do nothing. Place the guitar in the hands of a nonmusical person and nothing happens. Or even worse, a cacophony erupts, offending all. Hand it to a master artist and magic fills the air. Pheromones are the guitar and the wearer is the master artist. Success happens only when these two elements work together.

I have ben fortunate to know most of this from young on. My father died almost 9yrs ago and I learned more from him in the 10yrs we were together than the 13yrs I have ben in school. Live life how you want to. Don not take shit from anyone. Never apologize for your opinions, or who you are. Radiate

Haha I completely agree.. I’d even settle for 9th grade.

That’s a misnomer - it is possible to be a ‘nice guy’ and still get somewhere with women. A more accurate description would be “being a wuss gets you nowhere with women”, “being needy gets you nowhere with women”, “being indecisive gets you nowhere with women”…etc…

I’m not saying you are any of those, but if one displays those qualities mentioned above that many people think are just being “nice”, that kills attraction and thus gets you nowhere with women.

Gegogi that is awesome.

What I wish I knew earlier:
–Don’t pack Alpha A314 in your ziplock bag for flights (not sure if it was that it couldn’t stand the pressure or what happened, even though the cap was on as tight as I could make it, it leaked all over my bag)

–Don’t stress over things you can’t control, likewise, don’t let something get you down if it’s beyond your control

–There is no such thing as failure, only lessons to be learned

Let’s keep this thread alive

I stopped apologizing a while back. When I look back I was apologizing all the time, I gave away so much value/worth. Feels better just not to do it.

It is important to make careful, clean distinctions about the postures you take… I’ve found the “I don’t take shit off of anybody” mentality dangerous in many cases… and I’ve had my share of death threats, potential urban live fire situations, dealt with hardcore types in Brooklyn and elsewhere… all kinds of crazy contexts where people tended to lack self control and life wasn’t particularly valued.

My top survival skill was the capacity to de-escalate the situation, show total mental presence and full awareness of the gravity of the situation without getting personal. Remember that one if you have to have it tatooed on you inner forearm. Don’t make it personal, don’t take it personal, don’t escalate it cause you like the sensation of being enraged. You WILL get your ass killed and there are plenty of people who wouldn’t mind killing you for a chuckle. These are the types who often see penitentiary as state sponsored R and R facility.

Funny thing I’ve observed over the years… the stories that hit the news about some poor sod who got knifed and bled to death on the sidewalk often involve a “martial arts master” on the receiving end. I finally figured that these guys have a problem of overconfidence. They think it’s going to be like their formalized dojo training. Guess what. It ain’t, pal. He spent years obtaining his black belt so he wouldn’t have to take shit off of anybody. Then some sleazy fuck guts him.

You know what I do ? I apologize. I called a guy a motherfucker once and he pulled out a large caliber revolver and pointed it at my head. You know what I did ? I walked up to him and I said these exact words, I apologize. Defused it. He put the heater back, jumped in his car, and sped off. You know what would have happened if I tried that macho goombah shit and said fuck you in my most dismissive voice ? My brains splattered all over the pavement. The end.

There a big difference between being right and being dead right. I knew a guy who needed to be right. That was his thing. Had to be right. Nobody was going to put him in his place and make him feel small. No sir. So he got into this thing with a badass Filipino. Didn’t scare him, unh uh. Filipino lured him into a trap and put two .44 magnum rounds into his ribcage. Lay there in his own parking lot screaming help me while he drowned in his own blood. He was dead right, sure as shootin’ he was.

They’ve been going to pretty crappy martial arts school then. Most modern and practical schools teach you to book it or defuse the second a weapon gets involved and stress that the defense techniques you learn are a last resort against weapons. I think it was Bruce Lee that said the winner of a knife fight is the one that dies in the hospital.