Okay, so there is a girl I work with that is fuckin’ hot. I have been acting all C&F which really is a magic combination. Anyway, I was wondering from all the pua guys, or “naturals” how often you give away honest compliment. For example, I haven’t given this particular girl any compliments whatsoever…all C&F thus far. Do you think it would be effective to say to her in the near future something along the lines of “You look really good today” or would that ruin all of the progress I’ve made? Of course if I say something like that I wouldn’t give another compliment for like a month. Anyway, what do you guys think. Gals feel free to chime in as well.
I give compliments for who people are, not how they were born (i.e. for beauty), and only after the “whoness” has been demonstrated to me. I tell a good dancer if I honestly believe she is good. No need to count compliments, as far as I am concerned. I also have quite high standards, which means I do not hand compliments out easily.
So would everyone agree that compliments on looks is just a bad move? What about saying it in disguise? For example, “It’s nice to know you have more going for you than just looks.” HA HA or I just thought of this: “It’s nice to know you’re more than just a great set of tits” HA HA!!! Okay, seriously though…this chick is a total alpha female so I don’t want to be just another dickhead trying to hit on her. Maybe just keep going with what’s working??? Save the superficial compliments for the 7’s and 8’s?
You can give a compliment if it’s framed with what Vin Dicarlo calls “dirty compliance”.
Dirty Compliance is framing something she’s done as having been done for you. Say she’s looking particularly good one day when you meet up with her. You pay a compliment with an observation of compliance.
“Wow babe you look amazing today!, but you didn’t need to get all dressed up for me”
“I love what you’ve done with your hair, it really means a lot to me that you took the time to look special for our date”
Now compliments like these are ideal for two reasons. First you’re not complimenting what would basically be her luck in the genetic lottery, you’re complimenting her EFFORT to look good. This ideally encourages her to continue her efforts.
Secondly, it’s framed as if the effort was made especially for you, and is appreciated. This is about frame control, if you create the frame where something that she most like would have done anyway, was done for you…and you hold that frame she’ll subconsciously begin to accept your frame or perception as reality. Now if she believes that she goes through all the work of getting her hair and nails done, choosing the perfect sexy outfit, or even following a diet and exercise regimen, just for you…well that says something about your value to her, and your value in relation to hers in the dynamic of the relationship.
Goddamn it Pherotalk is aweome!!! You guys rule.