Oh, thanks God! Vent away then 
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Well I just done reading your journal and wow I’m glad I did.
Now opinion is like an asshole everyone has one, here is mine.
You need to take a good hard look at yourself. You have to realize that YOU are the prize, not a guy.
You should just be yourself everything else will fall into place. You need to set up healthy boundaries I couldn’t agree on more on that.
Now for finding a man, notice I said MAN here not a boy.
Stop looking for looks. This maybe an a extreme statement, but I have to say most of the mistakes I have made were due to listening to my lower half.
I will say being avg looking guy that the main problem with men and women is they cannot look past the flesh.
Ask yourself this is it better to have an avg looking guy, who is loyal, honest, kind, and will always be there for you. Or a hot guy or girl who you " have chemistry" with and they treat you like crap?
You have a lot to offer from what I have read set your standards as such.
You do have the right to be suspicious. And by simply thinking that Rob is different to Joe is not an excuse not to be suspicious. Or if “suspicious” is kinda hot word, maybe try “cautious”.
If one person who does not even care to remember the birthday or name of his family members or special someone wanted to stir up your world, the natural reaction is to get suspicious/cautious. But yeah, you also have this option to give him the benefit of the doubt, that’s why any suspicions should remain inside you and serve as warning signs whenever he tries to open some doors inside your world, or whenever you forgot and open up some of your doors for him.
I’m glad that you’ve been exercising cautions now and not letting him get into your pants easily. I guess that’s one of the reason why he’s showing up, he senses that you are putting up barrier and he’s trying to break in. And he knows how to do it.
But of course, at the end of the day, you are going to decide what’s good for you. For short term, it’s good to fuck him sometimes to help relieve some stress, but for long term, it’s bad to assume something more than sexual pleasure is coming out of this little game. It’s best to assume for the worst then. Assume he’s just in for the sex. And it will help you view Rob in a different perspective.
Let him do the works in proving to you that he’s for real. You’ll save time and tears that way.
My prayers for a good news regarding you surgical concerns.
I appreciate your taking the time to read my whole journal. That’s a lot of Somechick to handle! I also appreciate your opinion, but I do want to defend myself on one point.
You are correct that I am the prize( such as it is), but I need to clarify something about my choices in men.
Scott is the only person that I have had nothing but pure sexual chemistry with. Rob I have that with, as well, but it’s the other things about him that made me fall for him. I think he is insanely cute, but that is partly because I am crazy about him. Other people think he is kind of dorky looking…or that’s what they tell me.
Mr W was NOT a good looking man at all. He and I knew each other for years before we ever got together and it was his personality that drew me to him. He had facial scars and a scar on his arm that borderlined on disfiguring. He had a big nose, and most people could not see what I saw in him.
The other men I have had in my life were also not overly attractive in a conventional sense. My first boyfriend was overweight and also had a big nose, but all I saw was his beautiful eyes, because they showed me what a kind and wonderful person he was. We split up because we had different goals in life and were heading in different directions. The one who came after him had pretty bad acne, but again, all I saw was his eyes. He continues to be one of the very best people I will ever know, and we are still friends. He was young and wanted to party, and I didn’t drink at all. The partying as important to him, and drove me nuts. He is now a responsible, wonderful father and husband, because he got that out of his system.
My ex husband was next and I had NO chemistry with him at all but I liked him as a person. He met me when I was vulnerable, having just been through something very traumatic. He was there for me, and I was grateful. That is not a good foundation for a relationship. Just friendship was not enough to save us when things got rough. HE withdrew, became emotionally detached and wouldn’t have anything to do with me.
When I say that Rob is hot, it is because I see him that way, not because he is going to be doing any underwear modeling. I have a customer at work that WAS an underwear model and he is numb as a stump. He does nothing for me.
Chemistry is not just about sex to me( except with Scott) it’s about being able to bond with someone deeply, emotionally, mentally, sexually. I’d rather have Quasimodo who could talk to me about thermodynamics, than an Abercrombie model who couldn’t talk about the weather.
The most important thing to me, is being able to have an intelligent conversation with someone and laugh with them. They could be homely as hell, as long as we keep talking…
My house woes continue…the house I had under contract last week, the second one I have had under contract, fell through. I am despairing of ever finding a house. The financing for the buyer of this house is falling apart, and that cost me the opportunity on the best one I have seen yet. I said it was priced to sell and would be gone by Tuesday and sure enough, they got a cash offer yesterday.
I have been trying P96. I don’t know what the self effects are, there has been so much going on and I am so emotionally and mentally exhausted that I don’t see any. I know that everyone keeps commenting on how good I smell. My daughter and I went to brunch the other day and the staff was extra chatty. I spent years being invisible, so when people chat me up in public, I notice. Lots of comments on my hair, too. I will keep testing to see what I can understand of my own reactions to it.
I did have it on when Rob was here the other night, but he played basketball for 5 hours and was hurting. My kids were home, too, so there was no opportunity to see if I could get super close and really give him a dose. It was the first time he met my son. My daughter was hiding while he was here, though she did peak out at him when he was leaving. I was having a horrible day and I asked him to meet me for coffee somewhere. He chose to come here. I needed him, he was there…hmmmm…
I haven’t slept with him, but we have had better communication since last Friday than we have ever had. When I have said I needed him, he either called or texted and then called when he was free. We have spent hours on the phone. He has told me more about his childhood and I understand more about why he is the way he is. I was talking to him Monday and he told me to hold on, he was getting gas in his work vehicle. I could hear him talking to the guy pumping his gas at the place his company fuels their vehicles. it was funny to be able to hear how he conversed with someone when he didn’t know I was listening. I could hardly understand the guy, because he had a heavy accent, but they had a nice conversation, and Rob was really nice to him, not just small talk, but actually talked to him.
We have clarified so many things, like why we got together in the first place. And he has told me that this is exactly where he wants to be. That he knew I was awesome all along and that is why he wanted to be with me. And though I know talk is cheap, he has been amazing about being here for me, and I have needed him.
Anyway, I have to get to work, hopefully I can make a whole day today. We had some issues with my son and I had to leave in the middle of lunch yesterday, and when you work in the lunch spot in town, that is bad!
Somechick, you are a rarity among women. Your last quote really brought it home. I think any guy would be stupid lucky to have you.
Awesome! That’s exactly how I feel. The comfort zone thing is right on and exactly what Im working on right now. Hence why I ended my break with pheromones. They bring out the me I’m too shy to bring out. I love the confidence aspect, and no medication or drug has ever gave me that, only pheromones. I feel very blessed to have found this place. I love pheromones 0
Yes! That is exactly what I find with pheromones, they bring out the real me. The one who always hid inside herself because I lacked confidence. I am much more ‘me’ than I ever have been. I LOVE feeling like I am finally the person I was always meant to be.
HERE HERE and ditto to Olesia and Somechick’s comments.
I currently don’t have much of a sense of smell as a result of this festering plague prevailed upon me by mouthbreathers, non-handwashers and uncovered sneazers of the worst and most offending sorts…BAAAAAAAH to be ill!!! HUMBUG! lol 
but when I can smell and feel the effects…I feel whole, standing on two feet and greeting the world as the very best of me. Too right!
Okay, so I came on here to talk about the experiments I have been doing trying to recreate my beloved MX***, but I was a VERY bad girl last night and I am so freaking giddy I can’t even type! I should leave all the typos so you can see for yourselves!
I have been attempting to recreate the effects from a currently embargoed and unavailable MX that I adore. This particular trial was a 3:1 ratio of Instant Shine to Instant Openness. I wore it all week. And all week I was happy and even the Super Bitch at work(story for another day, she is something else…)was not a tyrant at times when she normally would have been. She was pleasant, like she was when I had my MX.
I would wear 2 sprays, usually to the front of my neck, throat area, or one there and one split between my forearms, so I could talk with my hands and increase my phero cloud.
All week long, we have been reeling in people who normally are very standoffish. My little derelict co-worker, R, has a little harem going on, and she seems likely to add to it, as she has been riding my wave, and gaining new fans.
One guy has always been a giant asshat, but the other day he came in for kerosene and he couldn’t work the pump, because it is older than Methuselah. He came in and told us he couldn’t make it work, so I asked him if he needed a girl to go out and show him. He got all bashful, and laughed, but when he came in, he jumped right into our conversation about farming. Turns out he has a farm, and he now comes in every day for lunch and he is our new bestie! He makes tons of eye contact with me, and really opened up. Not surprising given the IO I have in my mix, but man, this is SUCH proof positive that this stuff is amazing!
Also, everywhere I have been lately, stores, restaurants, the mall, everyone wants to tell me they like something about me. My hair, my purse, my necklace. I was in Marshall’s and a lady who worked there was kind of stalking me around the store so she could tell me she liked all those things and ask me what I use to keep my curls so amazing. She was very DIHL and couldn’t stop smiling at me. I have had a ton of other people remark on my hair lately, too. I think part of it is because so many women have their hair blown out or they straighten it, that to see a giant mop of natural curls is not as common in my area as it once was.
I took my cherubs to brunch last weekend because I was sick on my very rare weekend off, and we didn’t make it to the mountains like we wanted to, so to do something a little fun, we went to brunch. The lady making the omelets was staring at me so hard, she was ignoring people and across a giant table full of cooking things and hotplates making omelets, she told me I smelled good.
This stuff has lasted at least 8 hours for me, and I have been in a much better mood than would be expected, feeling the way I do, with the continued house woes and the lack of Rob…he again dropped out of my life, after begging me to be with him, telling me he loves me, etc, etc…I actually do think he means it, but he is a total flake and he can’t seem to get his shit together. He told me he was going to lose his apartment and that would cause him to lose his job. It’s been a month since I saw him and 13 days since he last sent me a one word text…so it was NOT him that I was bad with last night…
SIGH…I am still smiling, though…and for THAT I wore P96, P74 and TAC…hehe
Good thing you’ve put that dude aside and are enjoying yourself.
And, of course, Rob finally called this morning…and I blew him off. But it hurts like hell, so I am going to see if my MX experiment can help hearts that hurt.
Great move.
Can you block his number or something? It might seem harsh, but it will help burn the bridges for good.
I don’t know if I need to get that harsh. I have a feeling he will get the hint. And honestly, I am friends with all my ex’s except Mr W, so I don’t really have a problem with him staying in touch. He is definitely the most interesting person I have ever known, having lived all over the world. I’d miss talking to him. I just refuse to put up with his wishy washy behavior.
I might seem cold, having already found someone to replace him, but I didn’t exactly find someone new…
If you’re sure you will not fall back in the pattern with him again, I guess it’s ok .
I think it highly unlikely since Rob has proven he is not reliable and the plowboy has proven that he is reliable, and VERY interested…
Choose happiness!
I did! as much as I will always have a place for Rob in my heart, there is not a place for someone who never does what they say they will do.
The one I was with the other night ALWAYS does what he says he will do.
That’s great! Confidence is so important in any kind of relationship.
I’ve missed you old friend! Sorry for being MIA- I’m being dense but please clarify that Plowboy is indeed Scott
I want to go back to your old thread about chemistry, how friendship wasn’t enough to save your marriage when things got tough and chemistry is more than physical appearance- it’s the conversation that keeps you going.
Everyone has their different triggers that “spark” their erogenous zones; for me it’s a man who does nice things for me (my most recent ex always washed my dishes, cleaned out my fridge, got my car washed) and someone who makes me laugh/gets my jokes. I have a pretty unique sense of humor so someone I can joke around with is someone I want around all the time. I can talk about thermodynamics with my colleagues til the cows come home, I can talk about feminism and politics with my girl friends, I can talk my sister’s ear off about philosophy and existentialism, but does my my man need to do that to turn me on? Not necessarily. I lust after athletic builds because I admire dedication, I envy people who have discipline and self-control to eat right and exercise regularly ( I ebb and flow with this struggle myself but am not even close to where I want to be).
My point is: sexual chemistry; whether in the form of intellectual conversation, acts of kindness, physical affection, (or any of the 5 languages of love) is extremely important in keep people together. We all have plenty of friends; what makes a friend a lover and not just another friend?