I’ve been away a while, I don’t know if that matters, or if anyone will notice I am back(kind of).
I just placed a good sized order. I am going to try the TAA oil this time. I really loved the enhanced effects of any mix when layered with the other oils I have tried. But I have been hanging out with a friend from way back, and I don’t want anything sexual or romantic when I am with him. He was good friends with my first boyfriend and we always got along very well. I have only seen him a few times in the past 25 years but we have recently gotten back in touch and we have hung out a few times. We have great conversations and there is a lot of potential for fun, but there isn’t any chemistry, so anything sexual would be wasted there. I will just keep it friendly, casual and happy.
Work has been crazy. We are perpetually short handed, because no one wants to work with Bitchy. R walked out on Monday and my boss is scheduled for a hip replacement next Monday. So I have been working ten or eleven day stretches and then having one day off. I am getting a little burnt out and if they don’t pony up some more money soon, I will have to look a little harder for another job. I have been half-assed looking already. I would like some time to enjoy my life, my new house, my kids. There’s a lot of mountains to climb and no time to climb them.
I have been dealing with a couple of emotional issues, and having a hard time. In May my very best friend since birth died. I am devastated and can’t even imagine how I am going to deal with life without him. We literally have been friends since I was born. Our moms were best friends and they plopped up down in the same playpen and the same crib. We were inseparable growing up. I spoke at his funeral, and I will post what I said in another post, so maybe you can get an idea of what I lost. It was so freaking sad, and so stupid! He was working on his friends boat and he fell off somehow. He was calling for help and some people heard him but they didn’t see him, so they decided it was a joke and they left. They went to a bar and were telling the bartender about it and someone else heard and said they should have called 911. That person did call 911 and he got his boat and went out looking to see if someone needed help, but by then it was too late. He would have helped anyone. He is the reason I made it through childhood and the reason I got moved out of my old house on time.
They have destroyed my old house. They torn down half of it, moved it onto a new foundation, tore down the beautiful brick root cellar and fireplace with built in bee hive ovens and threw everything with any character in a dumpster. I feel like my sister, who lied to me about what was going to happen there, so I would agree to the sale, took a giant steamy shit on 106 years of MY family’s history. She knew they were going to sell house lots, she knew they were moving the house, that there would be nothing recognizable, she just lied for the money. And it kills me.
The day before Jeff died I had some suspicious growths removed. Fortunately they were benign but one of them left a scar on my chest that I am now stupidly self conscious of, so I won’t wear anything with a low or vee neckline. I am sure it will get better in time. I think part of the reason it bothers me is because as I was waiting to have them removed, I was texting Jeff and that was the last conversation I had with him. So in my mind, it is all tied together.
I got a tattoo on my right leg, and my left leg half sleeve, if you will, is pretty much done except for a few little finishing touches. The one I got on my right is on my right shin, and it is milkweed flowers, with a monarch caterpillar and a butterfly and two four leafed clovers at the bottom. When Jeff and I were little, we would spend hours in my back field looking for clovers. And hours haunting the milkweed patch behind the barn, looking for caterpillars, because we always wanted to hatch a butterfly. We never did, so that became something I was determined to do with my kids. We did quite a few in the old house, milkweed grew by my front door one year and I left it for the butterflies. The tattoo is beautiful. I went to a wedding in June and I wore a dress to show off my legs. A friend’s young twenties son came up to me, put his arm around me and said , " in a non-creepy way, I want you to know that your legs are beautiful. I never knew you had those". He was half drunk, but it was cute and made me happy that people like them. I got a lot of compliments that day. I think people were as shocked with the ink as they were the pinup dress. 
So I have buttercups on one leg for my daughter, milkweeds and clovers for Jeff and my kids, and in two weeks I will have my second sitting on the right leg for some more flowers. I know, I am a weird chickie.
Last week I took my son out to dinner while my daughter was at the malls with her girls. Dinner was good, we were half done and I looked up(I was facing the door) just as Scott walked in with a date. I knew it would happen eventually, but it sucked considerably worse than I thought it would. Check please!
I have been wearing mostly my usual mix lately, or sometimes even just 20 mcg of P130 ( I finally found the missing bottle!! Hooray!) I know that my mix works better when layered on the oils. I really wish there were a way to buy a bottle of the oil with no pheros so we could just use it to help increase the effectiveness of any of our custom mixes. I love how the Vanilla cops smell, and when I spray it over the oil OMG! I could lick my own arm! It might be nice to try that combo of cops and oil with a partner, but I haven’t even kissed a guy in more than a year. God, that is sad!
I did have a guy give me his number at work one day. He didn’t even speak, just stared at me and kind of slid it across the counter to me. He was kind of scary looking, so I looked him up on Facebook to see what the heck was going on, why did this random guy give me his number!? He works with some people I have known for years, they told him I was single. Well, he was NOT my type and I was a little scared of him to be honest. He gave me his number and I found out about Jeff dying, so I didn’t call him. Rick, whom I have known for 16 years came in to the store and told me what a nice guy he was, how he thinks he is all gangsta because he’s from Detroit but he’s really a pussycat, etc etc. So, I felt bad about not calling, and I texted him to tell him that my best friend had just died and it was bad timing but that I was flattered. His response to hearing that my bestie had died? He sent me a shirtless selfie! And he has pierced nipples and a pierced belly button, and some weird tattoo around his nipple that looks like an infinity sign with devil horns. At least that is what my tattoo artist and I decided it looked like when we zoomed in on it.
And this is why I haven’t kissed a guy in too long…that is my only real offer. God, I am never going to get some again! I haven’t met anyone that I am in the least attracted to. Maybe there is something wrong with me, but no one excites me. I can’t sleep with people that I am not attracted to, so maybe I am just doomed. I don’t know. I will just keep muddling through, making memories with my kids and climbing my mountains.
I will test some new combos when I get my new order and I will report on something interesting next time, not just my utterly boring personal life! LOL
I baked some Amish Friendship Bread yesterday, with a brand new starter, after taking a break from baking that for 15 years. It stuck to the pain, because I forgot that you really have to over-grease the pan. That would normally make me really pissy at myself, because it basically ruined my bread. But I just shrugged it off and thought to myself, ‘oh well, it will still taste great’…and it does taste great.
If things went well, he’ll ask for a second date.