Tuesday, March 31, 2009
*** Release Your Need to Rate Women ***
Release your desire to rate women. There is no point to it. Guys want to debate this all the time. The best persoective I have ever heard on the matter comes from Johnny Soporno, so I transcribed his words:
Overwhelmingly, within the community there is a desire to numerically rate women, usually on a one to ten scale. And most of this is usually about feeding your ego. Most of the time, when you look at a girl, you see one of four categories:
I wouldn’t fuck her.
I could fuck her.
I’d like to fuck her.
She wouldn’t fuck me.
*Girls do this to guys too. Everyone looks at everyone else that way. Now, as you work through yourself – and you become more comfortable with yourself – you’ll realize that it is a whole lot harder for a woman to find a worthwhile guy than it is for a guy to find a hot girl.
Because there’re damn few of us left.
When you reach a certain level, you realize that it’s not that a woman is a 10 or a 7 or a 4, it’s that she’s interesting to you. When you reach a certain level in the game there is no longer a level of “she wouldn’t fuck me” as a category. Sure, there will be individual women that won’t fuck you – maybe she’s a nun, or just gotten out of a divorce, or has decided to play for the other team. For whatever reason, there are going to be some women that don’t want you. But there isn’t going to be a category of women who you’re going to know by their looks alone, “she would never settle for me.” Because you’re good enough. AND not just that, she doesn’t think that highly of herself.
So now we have three levels: I wouldn’t. I could. I’d like too.
By the time you’ve reached a point where you’re good enough with game, you know there is no such level as “too good for me,” so you also realize: “Why would I go to bed with someone I could go to bed with when there are all these women that I’d like**could go to bed with” is now equivalent to “I wouldn’t go to bed with.”
So, the only thing that matters is “I would like to go to bed with her.” And in this case, her numbering doesn’t matter at all. The only thing that matters at all, if you decide you like a girl’s looks, or style, or politics, or philosophy is if YOU want her. It doesn’t matter if she is older than you, she’s losing her hair, or she’s heavy. Who give’s a crap.
If she turns you on enough and you like her, she’s a YES. If you don’t like her, she’s a NO. Ultimately those four categories become two: YES or NO.
If you concentrate on spending your time with girls who are YESES, you will be a very happy man. You will also discover there are many more YESES than you ever thought of if you started out saying “I have to find girls that are hot enough to turn me on, but not so hot that they won’t be into me.”
If you are caught up in the notion of how your buddies think about the looks of your girlfriend, you are an abject loser.* to go to bed with?” *So you realize, “I could go to bed with” is now equivalent to “I wouldn’t go to bed with.”
So, the only thing that matters is “I would like to go to bed with her.” And in this case, her numbering doesn’t matter at all. The only thing that matters at all, if you decide you like a girl’s looks, or style, or politics, or philosophy is if YOU want her. It doesn’t matter if she is older than you, she’s losing her hair, or she’s heavy. Who give’s a crap.
If she turns you on enough and you like her, she’s a YES. If you don’t like her, she’s a NO. Ultimately those four categories become two: YES or NO.
If you concentrate on spending your time with girls who are YESES, you will be a very happy man. You will also discover there are many more YESES than you ever thought of if you started out saying “I have to find girls that are hot enough to turn me on, but not so hot that they won’t be into me.”
If you are caught up in the notion of how your buddies think about the looks of your girlfriend, you are an abject loser.
.