Hey! I met and married 2 women that I met in bars, and we lived happily…NEVER AFTER! 
Yeah, I gotta agree with Bella, I have a few freinds, a number of casual aquantance types, and a bunch of bar buddies. People that you meet in bars generally are not dating or marriage material, and more often than not don’t make very good friends either.
I have an uncle who met most of his Exwives in bars, I think he is on #5, and they have made it 10 years longer than any of the others. But he met the last one in a rehabilition facility.
I guess I can’t say everyone who met someone in a bar has not ended up married, and reletively happy. I have a coworker who met his ex wife and current wife in bars, first wife was nuts, second not so bad.
Rehabilitation Facility = trying to change their lives for the better = potential happiness.
Uncle married 4 women he met in bars. 4 marriages ending in divorce = Not so successful.
Friend met and married 2 women he met in bars. Divorced one and second is Not So Bad.
Do you want to marry someone that’s not so bad and you can be relatively happy with, or someone that’s absolutely great and you’re thrilled to be with?
Experience has taught me that 90% of the met you meet in bars are not worth knowing outside of the bar
Yes, most people are different when they sober up, some are not.
Think that was the uncle’s downfall, drinking, meet someone, she got him sobered up, he changed, divorce, start drinking and repeat. Or something like that.
OMG music man? crap - i have much to report. but i have fam here from out of town so no time to post the juicy stuff that happened…
hummm, likely story, but we will wait…
Jeez Jane…talk about a teaser!
Well, what may be juicy to me may be boring to others…
Yesterday, he texted me to say he was back in town, and did i still want to go out. I said i did soon but it would have to be on the dl as i am still married. He really wants to get kinda dressed up and go out on a “proper” date it seems - but i am terrified someone will recognize him, or i will run into someone i know and see HIM. (“Hey Mr. Metro, did I see your wife Miss Jane out with Mr. Musician wielding her BEEF JERKY OF DISCIPLINE - and reeking of pheromones?”) Mr. Metro would KILL me. He has met him a couple of times and says how good looking he is and cool. That would be the day Mr. Metro does not worry about what his hair looks like!
So we texted back and forth -which is new to me with a man. Then it was the “you are hot, so are you” etc. I am really surprised to find out he does not have a woman right now. I thought women flung themselves at musicians! And he looks like a cross between Leonardo DiCaprio and Justin Timberlake - well, a bit if you throw in Edward Norton when he is blond.
The married bit does not seem to bother him- so i am thinking that his intentions may be relatively innocent at this time. like fun drinking buddies. which is great for me. eases me back on to the market when that day comes.
But i AM saving my MX282 for him anyway 
Yeah - drinking buddies. I am sure that is what he is looking for … 
Not.
All he is saying is that he is interested enough he does not care if you are married …
Most guys do not tell women they are trying to hook up with that they are seeing other women … 
… kinda kills the moment so to speak.
Yea I get the not talking about others- but if he says he is free every night… Well… Hmmmmm.
Means he has made you a priority but is shaping it so you are doing the pursuing … (Guy Trick #6 - Right out of the PUA Handbook)
I will stand by my earlier advice - if you are seriously considering a divorce - be careful about giving your H ammo in the procedings …
Please oh wise one, explain this to me - so i dont make a complete ass out of myself as usual… what is the pua handbook?
Wise one? Very funny …
There really is no PUA (Pick Up Artist) Handbook per se - just a lot of on-line literature out there - but one tactic in picking up women is to shape the encounter so that she is “qualifying” herself to you - ie rather than the guy trying show he is worthy of her attention reverse it so she is trying to do that - or so that she is the one doing the pursuing …
Yea i totally get that. But he has spent much time prior to this trying to impress me. We have been friends for over a year, and he has been dropping really subtle hints - which i picked up on.
i think some people naturally have game. i notice that i have stages i go through to get “closure” that are similar to pua ones.- i checked out pua on line.
anyway - i find i am actually satisfied with the flirtatious text banter - even if it does not go past that point. its the “high” to see what he will type next after i text something outrageous - rather than where it is leading.
i always use the jerry seinfeld attitude… quit while you are ahead. i am the one who says -“oh gotta go now see ya” after a long series of messages. i dont want to sound like a shallow bitch. i really do like and respect him. we are just having a little fun…
sounds familiar,
the fun stops with the pants still, on when working on a married lady. (or for that matter, exclusively dating, engaged, dating or shacking up with, even more so when I know the guy and have to work with him)
This however does not necessary mean both of our pants will be on, but at least one will be. This is a hard line to draw in the sand when you have a 1/4 dressed woman trying to tear your clothes off.
Well, you’ve known Musicman for a year. Even though he knows you’re married there are sparks between you and he’s expressed interest. He also knows you’ve been interested but not yet ready to make a move. Now he knows you’re ready to take the next step to the next level. No, dear, he’s not looking for a drinking buddy…he has plenty of those. No guy wants to get dressed up and go out on a “proper” date with his drinking buddy, believe me.
Jane, has Musicman ever been married, had any gf’s, or LTR’s since you’ve been acquainted with him? Has he asked you if you’re leaving H? He’s not tied up for no reason. Could be he jus’ ain’t the type…likes to play the field…or…he could be waitin’ for you. You know you’re hot for him and though the feeling is mutual, so does he. You’re also vulnerable. I’m not saying not to have fun, but watch your a** from all sides. If you’re worried about people seeing you together…go out of your way to make sure it doesn’t happen. He should be agreeable, obviously. It would be foolhardy to tempt fate that way. Be careful. Loose the pants if you dare, but keep your head. If H gets wind of this you’re dead, Ducks. I don’t want to read about you in the papers!
Just for the record, I wasn’t born married. I spent plenty of years in the trenches and have dodged a few bullets myself. I’ve also dated a few musicians, know many, and still have a weakness for them.
Just because you are married does not mean you are dead…
I think I read somewhere it is the voices of the musicians that attracts you to us.
Awww thanks, Bella. Yea who knows what is going on. But I am having fun! I think for me this right now is going to ease my transition into dating again. Sort of re-learn the ropes. The thing with that guy is complicated, I have been cryptic because who knows who is on this site and would read this. Also, can my H get on here and read this? Who knows. So here is the deal, he is my kids teacher - so I already have had a reason to see him on a regular basis. He said he liked me from the first time we met. He is pretty open about past/present relationships. I think there is so much novelty between people who realize all of a sudden that they like each other. I highly doubt that i will actually sleep with him. I have never been promiscuous - if i had a date with a guy, it would last 3 years (my shortest relationship). I would wait until my marriage has split. Who knows by that time i might be flirting with someone else!
Thank god for pheromones - without them i would not have the confidence to get out and talk to anyone!
Just lookin’ out for ya. No harm in testing the waters…gotta start somewhere. It’s not a crime, especially when someone has tried as hard as you have to kick H’s a** into gear. You’re a rockin’ lady, Jane, and way too young to be sentenced to a life without the love and affection you need and deserve. I feel sorry for him, in a way, he doesn’t even realize what he’s losing.
I’m still kickin’, baby! 
Among other things.
Ditto - just want the best for you.