Why don’t you come up behind him when he is sitting down, lean over, wrap your arms around him start rubbing his chest and nibbling and nuzzling his neck? You’ll have an immediate answer.
If you want to take the lead… you can look into his eyes more and give him some well thought and well placed compliments. Sit closer, touch often, share clothing…these things from a women have always worked for me and have given me, a shy guy, confidence to move forward and sometimes outrageously forward .
Muse, you seem like a very attractive lady. Friends or not, he’d be stupid to pass this one up (and I’m not just trying to e-flirt either). Not only are you hot, but there’s a genuine sincerity in your post above that you really can’t fake.
That being said, when attractions exist between two friends, even the most confident men can freeze up…shyness is a defensive reaction you put out when you don’t want someone to know how you feel. Its something thats hard to process…being attracted to someone when you ‘shouldn’t’ be. Sometimes its a situation thats best left alone, rather than have your pride stung by getting turned down by someone you’re that close to. Its easy to brush off getting turned down by someone you hardly know, because there’s really nothing to lose…but getting turned down by a good friend is something you really have to live with.
Often when you’re in this type of situation, the only thing keeping the two of you apart is the notion that friends shouldn’t be attracted to on another. If you really think about it, its wasted potential.Both of you have to go beyond that, and you might have to help each other do so along the way. At one point one of you has to be willing to take the risk and take things forward. Its risky because there’s a lot to lose, but think of it this way: by not acting, there’s a risk of losing the opportunity.
But its certainly a situation that I really think you need to ease yourself into. Timing is everything, but know how to create the right time. Even as friends, there are certain gestures and actions that you avoid, as it gives the wrong impression. Embrace those gestures and actions…thats the impression you want to make. Suggestive flirting, eye contact, increased touching and getting in each other’s personal space can make a clear intent without really disrupting things. Make it clear that there is sexual potential between the two of you, and that you’re open to it. It can be done without words…it can be done without getting awkward.
If he’s attracted to you…he’ll eventually throw his conventions out and go for it. I know I would.
Muse: I’m unsure if this is something unique to the US, or just because so many women nowadays read “The Rules” (excuse me while I crease up laughing at THAT load of gumff) but I this a see a lot on forums - that women over there are OFTEN frightened of being too forward, or making the first move. Why?
Here in Scotland, if we want, we will go for, and after all, what’s the worst that can happen? A bruised ego? You just have to pick yourself up and move on. Okay with a longtime friend that could be harder to do, but in THAT case, if it doesn’t go the way you want, simply ensure you diffuse any awkwardness by making a jokey comment afterwards, and you’ll be fine, and your friendship (and pride) will remain intact.
However, if you sorta make a move, then back off like a startled wee rabbit, then the poor guy is going to think you are blowing as hot and cold as a faulty Air-con unit!
In life, there are no guarantees, and almost nothing is certain. What IS though, is that if you don’t ask, you don’t get. Nothing comes to you if you sit and just expect it to, and sometimes, you just need to take the bull by the balls, and GO for it.
Man..if I waited for “The Man” to make all the moves all the time, we would be a lot further back than we are now. You’ll never know if you don’t try, and NEVER burn a bridge before it even has a chance to be built. That could potentially be preventing you both from being very happy together. That would be awful wouldn’t it?
Just start by doing something fairly subtle, but at the same time, it needs to be enough removed from your normal behaviour, that he realises your intentions.
You know you can PM me any time Muse, and good luck!
Just screw the bobbin, and get up a wee bit extra courage to go for it. You have very little to lose, if you handle any knock-back that MIGHT result, just as I described above - but you have SO much to gain, if it plays out as you want it to.
Ail 
What do you think would happen if, the next time you two were planning to go out, you told him:“I’m curious to know if you’d like to spend an evening without talking, just communicating by touch.”
After the first moments of silence, since he’s totally taken by surprise, you can make it very open ended: you can stay in or go out, just see how the evening goes. It can be for just a couple of hours, or for the whole night. If you go out, you can eat (and spend a lot of time looking into one another’s eyes **) or do cinema (and cuddle) or dance (and be sure to touch plenty.)
And if you stay in …
** and FEEDING one another, like bride & groom feed one another wedding cake!
i think 2 things that contradict themselves at first, but make sense in the end.
first, i DO know if im having sex with a specific person within the first 30 seconds. in all the years i’ve been dating, thats been consistant.
with that said, i had no attraction to my ex at first (friend zone) and for years afterwards. we were also very good friends.
when attraction DID happen,it was years later when we were both different people…literally different .
it had staying power.14 years and still friends.
friend-zone, although it doesnt get you laid, is what has the potential to be long term when/if attraction hits.
BTW, if he’s truly reluctant to touch you, and he’s not homosexual, then I would bet that he wants to avoid disrespecting you.
That could be because he puts you on a pedestal, or because he’s got a touch of inferiority complex, or just because he’s a guy who truly relies on verbal communication to guide his actions.
How that last one works is like this: “not wanting to disrespect you, I cannot just rely on my interpretation of your body language to guide my behavior, because my interpretation may be inaccurate; since we haven’t talked about it, I’m not going there – I could just test the waters and either ask you verbally, or I could just tentatively reach out and touch you, but I don’t want to put this relationship at risk, so I’ll just wait and see if there’s a way out of this trap.”
If that’s the case, you could tell him “You seem physically distant and tense sometimes, and I want you to feel as comfortable with me as you can be.” Then you could put your feet in his lap and beg for a little foot massage.:o
Thanks everyone! I am gonna keep re-reading these posts and use it as my mantra!!! (PS - AIL & SiGMA, I tried to give rep points to you but, the system says I have to spread some love around —but, here’s love to youz!!)
my only issue with getting my ideas across on your issue is the way typing doesnt let in the flavor of how things should come across…
see bartending ruined me 
. i got into the habit a long time ago of saying what i think using the “but is it positive and uplifting?” filter.
guys and gals will take whatever you say in the light of how they wish to hear it more often than not-
i have looked into the eyes of guys i thought adorable and said in an instant sexiness A kinda way… “if i wasnt working id trick you into getting a cup of coffee with me”
its an open ended statement. they might say, i dont drink coffee. thats a nice way of saying im not interested and no one gets hurt
OR…
they might say,“why would you have to trick me?”
or “and how would you do that?”
or “no one will notice you gone” 
either way, you cant go wrong with an open-ended statement. it encourages SOME kind of harmless answer so that you can gauge where you stand.
i’ve got a million of 'em…
Muse, what you detailed here ..
means you already have the sexual tension … It is how to take it further that might help.
I agree with Ail advise on being forward a little. Why not just find the right moment, and plant a kiss on his lips, then apologise that you had to do it ?
He will get the point.
Well, today I definitely broke the touch barrier. I was talking to my friend when TG came over to me and asked me to go with him to the next meeting. I replied that I was waiting to speak to someone, and he replied that I could talk later and I should go with him. I smiled, looked into his eyes and touched his hand softly, and said, “I’ll be there shortly.” He refused that and kept asking, then I flirtatiously touched his hand again and said, “you’re so cute!”
Afterward, he kept pacing back and forth by me (people were talking to me all day- must be the Instant OPenness). When I was finally alone, he asked me who I was waiting for now. I told him, “my girl friend.” Then we chatted a little, he passed off a comment about being hungry. I thought it might’ve been a hint so I took the bait and asked what he was cooking for us. He smiled and said that he was just gonna grab something to eat because he had to go and visit some people to teach a lesson. We said goodbye, and I’ll be seeing him Wednesday b/c he is helping me move. Five minutes later, he comes back and I was talking to my girl friend (the one I had been waiting for). He says that he needs a favor…his car needed a boost. So, we take a short ride, we chat a little more, and he tells me how he does not want to go to his teaching visit. I tell him that he is really good and teaching, and I always enjoy his lessons!
After the boost, he looks straight into my eyes (it felt like eternity). I look back and smile. Then we say goodbye.
Okay, NOW we are cooking with gas!
The next time that last part happens Muse, while holding his gaze, place your index finger softly on his lips, then while he is still wondering what’s going on, remove your finger, and replace it RIGHT AWAY with your lips. Then give him a GHOST of a kiss - no more, and get out of the car - WITHOUT saying a solitary word, or looking back even once, at him.
Trust me, you will be in his thoughts for the longest time after that..
Ail
lol ail i could imagin that now so cruel so very cruel haha damn women and there tricks I’d be up all night trying to think if i should ring her not and couldn’t wait for the next day hah
ha make no mistake,Ail’s good.
great advice there.
now if i can find a man to do that to!
Oh yeah…I can recall a few occastions where women have ‘run game’ on me like that in the past. It really can leave you dumbfounded when a woman takes that much initiative…Assuming it fits the right context, it can really get in your head.
I’m still emotionally scarred from the last guy who did that to me. 
:o 
If you’re too nervous to do the Ail trick, bring the Lindt game. It’s not as scary as The First Kiss, but its a GREAT way to melt the ice and make the segue to The First Kiss that much easier…
I did a little variation of this technique not too long ago. It wasn’t post-deep-gaze-spontaneous, I kind of forced it. Read on.
Get a Lindt dark truffle bar.
Fig. 1: Lindt Dark Truffle Bar.
DO IT. Taste test it first. That swiss stuff is the best, most seductive, and it REALLY says, “@#*$ng I love you”. It’s already broken into pieces for you, has a semi hard interior and a cushy inside. Its textured, tastes, and feels (texturally: hard/soft/melt) like a smoldering melting kiss. Not effing kidding at all.
Okay.
Spontaneously, go, “OMG I have something for you to try, CLOSE YOUR EYES!”
Do that “The next time that last part happens Muse, while holding his gaze, place your index finger softly on his lips,” thing, only with this smoldering melting chocolate kiss pushing into his mouth. OH, also dose your fingers and wrists with Chocolatini or Cookie Isexi… (And Lucky you - you’re getting JUST the serum for this trick! A cookie-scented ISexi A with 5x cops!!!)
Then he’ll open his eyes all glowy and amazed at that amaaaazing melting chocolate seduction in his mouth, positively mindmessed at your swirling plumes of Instant Sexiness, and in a vulerable, pliable daze. What do you wanna do now, Muse? A quick peck, then move onto the “remove your finger, and replace it RIGHT AWAY with your lips. Then give him a GHOST of a kiss - no more, and get out of the car - WITHOUT saying a solitary word, or looking back even once, at him.” ?
God, it is BRILLIANT.
Go Team Muse! printing the hipster t-shirt right now on Cafe Press
I told my friends about those tricks, and we all giggled like little school girls at the potential.
MAN.
man you chicks are evil… but its giving me ideas as well… interesting… BOX OF TRUFFLES HERE I COME!!!
Why do this to us ? 
lol
Never underestimate the power of romance for women.
Because just reading Muse’s posts makes me glow. Ah, romance!!
And I’m not talking flowers, and whispering “sweet nothings” in your ear, and sappy poetry. I think it has its time and place (for some people) but we have been so desensitized to that kind of thing that anything out of the ordinary is HOT.
And the silent kiss, with no words or explanation is PURE romance. You’re taking out the sap, you’re taking out the sound, stripping everything down to simple contact, a connection and communication that doesn’t need anything more.
And you’re putting in mystery. And with the mystery comes tension, and tension can be even more delicious than anything else.
This is why we do it…
… and for the chocolate, of course.