Ok, this isnt really pheromone related and I wouldnt usually ask for advice on this type of situation but it’s been playing over and over in my mind and I’m gonna explode if I dont discuss it.
Ok, well, I went out with a couple of friends (2 guys and 1 girl). Well me and the girl are really good friends and in the past she has come on to me in the past (mostly whilst drunk). Anyway, to begin with we just chatted normally, but as we became slightly more relaxed (and drunk!) we slowly got closer. We were quite close and she brushed her here with her hands alot and made a fair amount of eye contact. We then changed venue to a loud clubby type place. And we ended up nearly cheek to cheek to shout over the noise. Although we probably didnt have to, I eventually noticed our legs were touching and rubbing a little but I was somewhat wasted and didnt think too much of it at the time. So far it seems like all the body language is pointing the right direction, however, even though she made a few comments on how I was her number one love (jokingly…I think) the majority of the conversation wasnt really in that direction.
There were a few more subtle hints in that direction which she said now that I think about it in a more sober mind. But overall I cant really decide if she’s completely into me or not. And whether or not I should take the risk of messing up our friendship and taking a shot.
I was wearing A314 and the mix I highlighted in the SteveO’s thread asking for peoples favourite mixes.
Dont take anything seriously when someone has been drinking. Sure at times a drink can help you lose your inhibitions but it also makes you not be able to think clearly so alot of people will do things they have no desire or intention of doing. You cant get a clear reading on body language this way.
I have been out with girlfriends while they were drinking and have seen things happen. Normally like a good friend I will drag them away from the situation LOL but there have been times when I havnt and they will call me the next day and say “jesus christ what the hell was I thinking”
That being said, if she is giving you signals when she is not drinking and you have feelings for her then carefully bring the subject up. Use alot of IH while you do it. She should give signals then even if she dosnt give you a all out anwser.
Aww crap, I’m such a backward dummy sometimes. With girls who dont matter all that much to me I can read them like a book. Yet now I’m unable to read this girl at all. I’m starting to want this chick bad now, I know its because I just dont know if I can have her or not but still my mind is just messed up right now.
She shows some IOI’s hair flicking, pointing her body in my direction, prolonged eye contact. But I honestly cant tell if its more to do with her just having a normal conversation with me or not. Usually I can differentiate. Worse thing is she looks hot today…god-damnit. And here I was thinking my infatuation days were long lost in my teenage life.
I cant/wont use pheros, I need to know its me and not some chemicals pushing her in my direction.
OK, I am in love with MX103. My god this stuff really is amazing. If I had the funds I would buy another 10 bloody bottles of this stuff to make sure I never ever run out!!!
Went for a coffee with the girl in question and this time I turned on my brain when looking for IOI’s (looking in clusters) not that I really needed to they were pretty damn obvious. When we finished our coffees she didnt want me to leave, in fact she smoked more than usual just to keep me there!!!
A very sincere thankyou to all the previous posters (especially Tisha) and mainly to the god-like person who made MX103 (MHarris I’m assuming).
Ok, I’m going to bed! Tired as hell.
Edit: forgot to add we were both sober this time!!
Rattle, women can be very strange when it comes to IOIs! Now that is news! In fact, I have a colleague who showed extremely obvious IOIs - flirty looks, lots of touching and cuddling, she even called me her love, ‘mon cheri’ and ‘mon amour’. And I really fell for her. BUT, the moment I wanted to make the all-deciding move (how dramatic ) she answered that I am completely not her type and that there won’t be anything more than friendship between us. So, her ‘amour’ became ‘not her type’ in an instant. Go figure! I have to admit that this really got me! But I’ve forgiven her and we really are friends now (although I still want more)…
One word of caution to this tale: Love can make thee blind to the truth.
In other words, once you realize that you like a girl and you want her BAD (even if it’s lust, not love), you really have to check yourself. The reason why she confuses the hell out of you while you can read other girls like a book is cause you think about it too much.
I know. I’ve been there, and I’m still guilty of doing it once in a while. You examine every.. little.. thing she does… every.. move.. she makes… to try to decide from these “signs” if she likes you. And, when those feelings set in, you interpret completely meaningless body language as signs of affection. Sure, hair flipping could be an IOI… but I wouldn’t bet the house on it. She could just be flipping her hair for no other reason than the fact that she can. Or out of habit. Or whatever.
The friend to girlfriend transition is a hard one. There’s no instruction booklet (at least not a reliable one). But here’s two tips.
NEVER confess your love (or whatever) to her in some heart-felt speech or Instant Honesty-induced heart-to-heart-I-wanna-get-this-off-my-chest moment. Worst thing you can do. Unless she REALLY likes you, her response will not be what you hoped. It works great in the movies… not so good in real life. Even if she kinda likes you and would make out with you in a heartbeat…
Playing the “game” and waiting till the right moment to SHOW her your attraction to her is much better than telling her. It’s more fun to her with less pressure. And by “show” mean plant one right on her lips. A kiss is much better than some “I’ve liked you for awhile” speech. The former shows confidence, the latter shows neediness. Ironically enough, a kiss… even if she’s repulsed by you… is usually not as awkward or damaging to a friendship as a speech, either. It takes some guts, but, in the right moment, it’s easier than you think. Which brings me to #2…
*]When the time comes, don’t miss your chance to show her you like her. Unless you’ve never been kissed, you’re familiar with that “I think I want to kiss you” look that a girl gets. Take advantage of that. If you’re not sure if she likes you, just remember that she wouldn’t have that look if she didn’t. I know this from experience, cause I missed my chance with a certain lady a couple years back .
As a disclaimer, I can’t speak for the ladies themselves. Their perspective is probably more valuable than mine. I’m just sharing what I learned through trial-and-error… and error… and error.
Thanks to both bubblebob and TRDE59, reps to you both!
This is very true, but after yesterday my One-itis for the girl pretty much died. I’m back on form and thinking in my old ways. I guess in my mind the playing field is now even again.
Good god, this is one amazing post, thankyou. You actually described me perfectly in some places. Watching every move, over analysing etc. I wont be confessing my undying love anytime soon. I get the feeling that she’s sexually interested in me but doesnt think of me as a boyfriend or being her type.
Their perspective is probably more valuable than mine. I’m just sharing what I learned through trial-and-error… and error… and error.